On Skiing and Vacations

First things first. This is the last guaranteed post for at least a week as Saturday I am officially on vacation. I may post while on vacation, but don't make waiting for a post an integral part of your day as you will indubitably be let down. Come to think of it, that's not much different from any other day of the week. I will regale you of tales from the middle of our great nation upon my return. Right now the plan is to eat a lot and sleep a lot while on vacation, and not do much else, so I can't say that my vacation stories will be all that exciting. Again, not much different from any other day of the week.

Yesterday when speaking of Wii Fit, I mentioned that I don't ski and that there was a story there for another time. Well, lucky for you, that time is now.

When Linda and I were both in graduate school, we both worked in the university's health center. This was the doctor's offices that the students could go to when they had the flu, or needed to be tested for the venereal disease du jour. We worked there with Linda's mom, as well as some other students, including a guy named Brian. Brian was the quintessential all-American guy. He was good looking, could wear cowboy boots without looking like an idiot and had a slight drawl to his voice that made the ladies swoon. All of the women, and I mean all of the women, at the health center absolutely loved him, and on top of it all he was actually a very nice guy, so it was hard to not like him, even when every ounce of attention went his way once you entered the room with him. Brian gave Linda the nickname "Linda-Lou" which I use to this day.

Along with Brian, I had also struck up a friendship with one of the administrators at the health center and one day she offered to take Linda, Brian and I skiing along with her and her kids. I was a little hesitant, as I was the only person going who didn't know how to ski, having never been. Despite growing up in upstate NY, with several mountains within a couple of hours of me, skiing was something I never got into. For one, I wasn't one of the Ski Club kids in high school. I wasn't cool, as they all were, I didn't have the money to pay for the trips, and invariably I worked on Friday nights, so Ski Club wasn't really an option. As no one in my family skied either, save my sister who used the Ski Club trips as an opportunity to socialize so she really didn't count, the activity was one I was able to safely ignore up until my early 20's. Linda and Brian both had ski experience though, and they promised me that it would be easy to learn and that I'd have a great time.

Either they underestimated the difficulty of learning to ski or they overestimated my ability to coordinate myself with two boards strapped to my feet, but skiing was a far cry from being easy to learn. Simple movement was an issue, and even on the slightest of runs, I was unable to go more than five feet before my toes would point inwards and I'd tumble over, or simply stop with no way to get back going. Linda tried to teach me and between our mutual frustration with each other, things didn't go all that well. Eventually Brian stepped in and for whatever reason, be it him just explaining things differently, or me just finally learning how to coordinate my unresponsive muscles, I started to get the hang of things.

By "get the hang of things" I mean that I could go to the top of the run, ski down without hitting anything, and manage to turn myself so that I could stop. Usually before I slammed into the equipment rack, but not all of the time. Given how long it had taken me to get to this point, simply making it down the run at all, much less without serious injury, was enough to keep me happy, but Linda and Brian were no doubt tired of the same boring, beginner level skiing and wanted a chance to tackle something lengthier and more challenging.

Now, if ever I were to tell you this story while in the company of my wife, this is where the story would diverge. I would tell you Linda and Brian wanted to go on a longer run and told me that it wouldn't be hard for me to do, so I should come with them. Linda would tell you that it was my idea to take the longer run, which, given how the story has gone up to this point paints me as either incredibly adventurous or completely out of my mind. I am, and was, neither. I don't know why my wife remembers this story so incorrectly, no doubt an effort by her subconscious to assuage her guilt in instilling in me a life long fear of snow sports, but nevertheless, her memory of the events are wrong.

The first thing that tipped me off to the fact that this new, longer run would not be the piece of cake it was promised to be, was the fact that we had to ride the ski lift up to the beginning of the run. About half way up the mountain, I looked ahead of me and could not see more than ten chairs ahead of me, so tall was the mountain, so thick was the fog. I looked behind me and couldn't see more than ten chairs behind me. This was the second thing that led me to believe that things were not going to go well.

The top of the mountain was chaos. The snow machines were running at full tilt, and made a horrible, wailing dirge. Snow was blowing everywhere and between the snow, and the fog, it was hard to see much. I quickly got off of the chair, no doubt falling on my face in the process, and we moved away from the machine so that you didn't have to scream at the top of your lungs to be understood. Linda and Brian brought me over to the top of the run, and pointed down to where we'd be skiing.

I don't scare easily. I'm not particularly brave, I just don't scare easy, no doubt because I'm not smart enough to contemplate the level of danger ahead of me, but when I looked down this run, I got scared. Fellow skiers where streaking down the mountain so not only would I have to contend with my own lack of skills, but I'd also have to hope that they didn't run into me, or I into them, no doubt causing severe bodily harm to both of us.

Not having any other way to get down the mountain, I pushed off and was on my way. Immediately I headed sideways, towards the edge of the trail, rather than down the mountain. I don't know if it was the setting, or just my fear magnified or what, but the stopping I was able to do earlier in the day eluded me, and as I headed to the edge of the trail, I had no recourse but to hurl myself into the snow and hope for the best. I landed, stopped, and peered over the edge to see an almost sheer drop down into snow, trees and certain death. That, as they say, was that.

Even if had wanted to get back up and ski, my body simply would not listen to my brain. It knew better even if I didn't, and wanted nothing to do with continuing this farce. Linda and Brian came over to encourage me to get back up and I told them, probably rather impolitely, that I would have no further part in this hell spawned sport. I crab walked down the entire mountain, skiis on my feet. It was only when I realized that I had reached the entrance to the beginner's run I had skied on earlier that I got back up and skied down to the bottom. Upon reaching the end of the line, I promptly removed my skis, removed my boots, and went into the lodge, never to ski, never even wanting to ski again.

It might not seem like much, and I'm sure that I'm not retelling it in a way that conveys the full extent of noise, fear and confusion that was present when I pushed off of that larger run, but I can tell you, unequivocally, that in my 35 years on this planet, I have never been so scared, so utterly terrified as I was when I looked over that edge and realized that I could have plummeted over it. It's entirely possible that the totality of the experience magnifies in my memory just how big the drop was, and if I were to go see it now, I'd laugh at being scared over such a thing, but regardless, you'll never get me back up on a ski run. Not for nothing. I'd be happy to go in the lodge, sip warm beverages and play whatever handheld I bring with me, possibly both, as others carve and jump all the live long day, but these feet have worn their last pair of ski boots, and these hands have held their last pair of poles. From here on out, it's all SSX and balance boards.

It's odd to have something that I'm this afraid of, and even stranger that the thing is "skiing" and not "bears"or "death by immolation" but regardless, I'm afraid of skiing, and I don't see it changing any time soon. The very fact that I live in the south makes it that much more difficult, yet not impossible, for me to go skiing, and there's no interest on either of our parts to expose the kids to it, so I think I can safely tuck this phobia away, never to have to face it again. Should you be the type of person who enjoys skiing, and enjoys bringing new skiers with you, be sure to let them ski at their own pace, or at least get them good and drunk before taking them on the longer runs. Too, watch out for the flaming bears. Those fuckers can be terrifying.

Wii Fit

I preordered Wii Fit today, partially because I'm reviewing it, and partially because I am physically incapable of letting a Nintendo peripheral enter the market without buying it. It is a sickness and I readily admit it.

I was originally interested when Wii Fit was first announced as the various mini games sounded like they could be fun, but mostly because I want to try my hand at yoga (don't laugh). My pathetic attempts at trying at home are always met with "am I doing this correct, because it sure doesn't feel that way". Now, I could go take a class some place, but that would require that I actually leave the house and that ain't gonna happen. That's not to say that the yoga I'll be doing with Wii Fit is anything like real yoga, but it's exercise, of which I am currently doing none. For the ten days after I get it, I'm guaranteed to do it every night, no doubt making my fat ass Mii very happy, but it's anyone's guess how much I'll do it after that. I'm going to try and do it at least every other day, if only for 30 minutes or so, but we'll see how it goes.

I don't exercise because I don't enjoy it, and because I enjoy doing other things more. If Wii Fit is fun there's a better chance I'll stick with it. Bottom line is that I need to lose weight as I've collected a fair amount around my middle section and various, recent medical studies have shown that belly fat is responsible for pretty much every bad thing in the world, from bad breath to impoverished nations and I'll be damned if my gut kills another kitten.

I'm more excited for We Ski the upcoming skiing game used with the balance board. It's only 30 bucks, and it has something like 70 runs and over 200 pieces of equipment you can get for your Mii. I am deathly afraid of skiing, a story for another time, so this game will allow me to hit the slopes, and get a little exercise out of it. That combination of gaming and activity is exactly what I need to try and get a little more exercise under my ever lengthening belt. If the upcoming Don King boxing game ends up using the balance board well, I'd consider it too despite the game sharing a name with one of the most odious men in professional sports.

I have a feeling that this thing is going to sell through the roof, which means that everyone and their mother will start getting fit, or there will be a whole slew of nice, white monitor stands out there. I hope to use mine to better effect and maybe lose a pound or ten. Granted, it's going to take more than just a fancy balance board and some games. I have to make a commitment as well, but knowing the type of lazy person that I am, anything that can blend exercise and gaming has a better change of holding my interest than just straight up exercise. Soon I'll be a svelte, sexy, gaming beast and then I can go back to my slothful ways. Baconators for all!

Pocket Twos

Here it is, the long awaited poker tale. It's not that exciting, so try not to get too, well, excited.

So I play cards at a coworkers house on a semi-regular (roughly every month) basis. I am by no means a good card player and I consider any night where I make it to the buy back cut off without having to buy back in, a whopping success. I know just enough about cards to know when I'm not making a good move, yet be powerless to stop myself.

The last time I played, it was just myself, my host and another coworker as his other invitees decided to do something else with their time. Usually I'd balk at the idea of playing with just two other people, but I had taken the time to drive to his house, so why not do it? Plus, it's only ten bucks to buy in, so it's not like I stood to lose copious amounts of cash.

Now, here's the thing about me and cards. I have a tendency to only bet when I have good cards, because I'm afraid of losing my chips. I know that this is a bad thing, because anyone who plays with me knows that if I'm betting, I probably have something good. I decided this night to change things up and to spend a little in the hopes that a) I'd catch something on the board and b) not making myself so predictable. Don't get me wrong, there were plenty of hands where I'd lay down without making a bet because I had utter shit, but it was a lot less than I usually do.

So the night progresses and I'm doing ok. I had caught some good cards, won some stacks, lost some stacks, the usual. All in all, I was doing about even. My looser style of play seemed to be doing well as I was having more fun because I was in more hands, and I hadn't lost in a big way that might scare me off, or cause me to be real conservative out of betting necessity. Still though, I didn't feel like I was in a position to win. I was playing to not lose, and eventually, I thought that wouldn't work.

As I was thinking about this, the next hand is dealt and I look at my cards, and staring back in my face is pocket twos. A pair of deuces. The worst hand you can have and still technically have a working combination of cards. I don't know why, but for some reason, I said to myself, "We are staying in this hand. No, fuck that. We are winning this hand with pocket twos." Not sure why I chose to listen to myself, but I did.

So the pre-flop betting commences, and there's nothing all that big being thrown about and I match whatever is out there. The flop comes and it's something like 7-J-9. After the flop, there was a little betting movement, but nothing substantial.

The turn comes and it's another 9. Now at this point, even with pocket twos, I could still be beaten very easily as every other card showing would beat my two pair, which said nothing if my opponents were holding on to one of the other 9's. I don't remember when my one co-worker folded, but I believe at this point it was just me and the host and he starts putting stacks into the pot. He's a big bluffer, so I wasn't sure if he was bluffing or not, but given the earlier conversation with myself, I knew that folding was not an option.

So I call, and the next card comes and son of a bitch, ain't it another two. At this point, I could have crapped myself. My opponent starts throwing more money into the pot, and I start calling him, despite his objection. He had this mind game thing he was doing where he'd say shit like "are you sure you want to do that" when you called him. Very annoying. So he's feeling all smug and shit when I dump my chip into the pot and he turns over his cards, revealing a pair of Jacks. Not bad, especially given what was on the board. I took one look at him, turned over my cards and exclaimed "Pocket two's bitches!" As exultations go, it was lame, I know, but I was pretty freaking happy.

I went on to win the entire match on pocket 8's, but that's another story for another time. After I won, my other co-workers said that the pocket two's was the turning point in the game for me, and I had to agree with him. At the end of the evening, I was 40 bucks richer and had drank two shots of my host's Patron, so all in all, not a bad night.

As I drove home, I started thinking about how stupid a play it was, but at the same time, sometimes you have to go with the stupid plays and just hope that you catch that last card. At the risk of turning this into a stupid "how life imitates cards" bullshit story, at the same time, I was thinking about how Linda and I started off together.

About three or four months before we got married, we decided to move to Seattle, WA. I had visited there on business and absolutely loved the place. Neither one of us were doing anything that was region specific and because of my business trip and the university I was working for, I had some contacts at Boeing that I could try and leverage for a job.

Now you have to remember that this was back in 1996. The internet wasn't as freely available as it is now, so planning something like this was a pretty big task, especially with no jobs and no idea of how to get a job. Nevertheless, we flew out to Seattle, found an apartment and I interviewed with Boeing. They told me at the interview that they'd like to offer me a job right there and that was that. Now, we had planned on moving anyway, and just assuming we could find a job, and truth be told, being told that someone would like to offer you a job, and actually getting a job offer are two entirely different things, so for us to quit our current jobs and move 3000 miles across the country on something not much more than a whim, was kind of silly.

There are about a hundred things that could have gone wrong there, the biggest being that we would be moving about two months after being married and that neither one of us had lived very far from our parents before. Oh sure, we didn't live at home during college, but when your mom is 15 minutes away, or you can stop at your parents' house on the weekend and grab dinner, it's a very different situation from living across the country from them.

In the end, everything worked out great and making the move, and having the first few years of our marriage being about nothing other than just being together, and learning about a new place as just the two of us, was probably the best thing we could have done. We bet the house on pocket twos, and came up big.

Now that we're older with kids and much better jobs and just a larger set of responsibilities in general, doing something like that again would be much, much harder. Not impossible, but a hell of a lot more effort than I'd be willing to spend at the moment. Thankfully, I don't have to, as I'm very happy where we are, as is Linda, but at the same time, it was such an exciting, exhilarating time that I do miss it. Not the moving, or the starting from scratch, but the ability to do so, the freedom that comes with you just being responsible for yourself and one other person. That being said, I wouldn't give up what I have now for anything, but I am glad that we were stupid enough to bet our hand so highly, confident in the fact that we'd catch just what we needed to win.

For now though, I'll stick to cards, and ten dollar card nights at that. As I've gotten older, winning 40 bucks in one night is probably all the excitement I can handle.

You Know the Drill

Another Tuesday, another Mr. Binky. Blah, blah, blah. It seemed funnier when I wrote it, however after reading it again, I'm pretty sure it sucks. Oh well.

The Rhythm Did, In Fact, Get Me

I apologize for the terse post this evening but alas, the siren song
of live music beckoned and I answered her willowy call. Tonight I am
taking in the gothic, folk wonder that is "Iron & Wine". Notice I
said "gothic" as in old, southern mansions and not "goth" as in boys
with eyeliner wearing black, entirely too tight jeans.

It seems like just a few weeks ago I was in this very place seeing
Jonathan Coulton. Oh wait, I was. Tonight should be a much different
affair with less comedy and fewer references to zombies but just as
much raw talent. The zombie thing is an assumption on my part. I&W's
earlier work may be entirerly based on the undead. I'll let you know
if that ends up being the case.

List-a-rific

Sorry for the lack of a post yesterday, but I was sunburned and tired and didn't want to do anything involving thinking.

Today you can peruse my Top Ten list at GameShark.com. It's all about tough achievements, or something. I don't know. I just write what they pay me to.

In other news, Wingblade is en route to my house as we speak. Oh the times we'll have!

Yard Report, Day 1

The first day of our working vacation was a smashing success.

Linda and I cleared out various sections of the backyard of leaves and weeds and put down landscape fabric and pine straw. The pine straw is so that things look nice, the lansdcape fabric is so that the weeds realize that their place is underground, where they can't pervert the sun's rays for their foul purposes. We got a lot more done than I expected so tomorrow is nothing but pine straw spreading fun, with just a smidge more fabric installation.

Exciting stuff.

I was also able to make a most tasty brisket while we worked. When I first started smoking, I was pretty dang anal about making sure that the temperature of the smoker didn't get outside of a particular range. Since then I've learned to be far less anal as the taste ends up being the same, there's just a lot less work. Oh sure, if the smoker gets up to 300 degrees, you'll probably want to do something about it, as I had to today (the water pan was running dry) but other than that, I'm all for just letting it do it's thing and just make minor adjustments if things are getting too hot or too cold. The brisket is much spicier than I imagined so the kids won't want any part of it, but other than that, it's pretty damn tasty. Makes me long for the joy that is pulled pork. I just don't think I'm up for an overnight cook any time soon. Them shoulders take a hell of a long time to cook.

Soon Linda and I will be deep in the heart of Texas on our vacation and I can have some authentic Texas brisket. At that point, my joy will be unbridled.

Mini-Vacation

Tomorrow we start our vacation before our vacation. This is a working vacation though as our yard has fallen into a horrible state of disrepair and trying to get any appreciable amount of yard work done while in the company of a three year old and a five year old is like trying to teach a dog to fold clothes. I have high hopes that we'll be able to get a lot accomplished, and if we don't, I'm making a brisket while we work, so if the yard still ends up looking like shit, at least we'll have smoked meat to feast upon.

So far the only snag is that we were supposed to order pine straw to be spread upon our landscape beds and we kind of, well, forgot. Hopefully we can finagle some sort of same day delivery, or I'll be driving around in a van that reeks of the forest primeval. Thankfully there's plenty of work to do even without spreading the pine straw. Thank heavens for small miracles, and neglectful home owners.

Various Bits of Media

I've had a story called "Pocket Twos" rattling around in my head since last week when I went to a coworkers house and won the night's poker match. Perhaps one day I'll actually write it. It's not all that interesting, and certainly the last thing this world needs is another cards as real life story, but I'll still probably subject you to it in due time anyway. You don't need to plan your schedule around it or anything, but know that soon you will be accosted with yet another bout of poor writing by yours truly.

If you've spent any appreciable amount of time at this site, you well know how much I love the rock. Not Dwayne Johnson, although he does seem like a fine fellow, but instead the raw, blistering, healing power of the rock and the roll. Folks, if you love rock as much as I do, then you really need to buy the new Muse live CD/DVD set, HAARP. I had heard Muse a bunch on XM and "Knights of Cydonia" is pretty much the only reason to buy Guitar Hero III so when I saw that they had a live CD/DVD set coming out, I was mildly interested. I'm a sucker for a good live show, even if it's from a band who's discography I own nothing from, and a quick perusal of the band's MySpace page further stoked my interest. I bought the set this weekend, and folks, I'm here to tell you that these dudes can kick some shit out. The concert is a total blast, and a real feast for the eyes and ears. These guys can fucking play, the crowd was totally into it, and the camera work is top notch. If you are finding yourself dangerously low on rock, get thee to a record store and pick this one up. You won't be disappointed.

On the movie side, I recently watched the French horror movie Frontière(s) and all I can say is "meh". Imagine that someone watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Hostel and The Descent and then sat down to write a movie and this is what they'd come up with. Some thieves flee Paris after some elections, why this is important I have no idea, but they made a huge deal about it, only to come across a family of cannibalistic neo-Nazis. Poor decision making abounds, people die and the main character, Yasmin, becomes the "wife" of the family's new patriarch. Unfortunately, she took all of her acting cues from Saw and displayed some of the worst over acting I've ever seen. Granted, I can't begin to imagine what someone in her shoes would act like, but mute shaking probably isn't it. At least not shaking, while mute and staggering around bow legged and arms outstretched. If you came in on the film while watching her stumble around, you would think it was a zombie movie, and a bad one at that. I don't consider it a complete waste of time, as it gave me something to write about tonight, but at the same time, if you see it on your shelf, or in your online video store of choice, just know that you're not getting anything terribly imaginative. If you're ok with that and really just want to see some neo-Nazis chow down on some annoying twenty-somethings, I guess there's worse movies you could see. I can't imagine that many movies fit that particular description, but I am hopelessly out of touch with modern horror movies, so perhaps there are plenty.

Battlestar Galactica started back up and all I can say is "wheeeeee!" Now all I hope is that we get the final season as one nice package, and not spread out over several years as SciFi tries to figure out how to make another good show. Here's a hint, it doesn't have a Mansquito in it.

In rock gaming related news, I am continuing to enjoy the hell out of Rock Band. I'm about a third of the way through the vocals tour on Hard, and this is when the rubber hits the road people and you find that you're not nearly as good as you thought you were. Better here than on Expert where nothing but bitter shame and embarrassment await. I'd like to know how it is that I can get three stars on "Black Hole Sun", and just barely at that, and then drop five stars on "Dani California" without even thinking about it, as "Dani" seems to me to be the harder of the songs, but what do I know. I was also able to rock "Don't Look Back in Anger" to the tune of five stars on my very first try, so clearly I have no idea what's going on. "Dirty Little Secret" is also nothing but a thing as I can do five stars on it, to the tune of about 95% complete on Expert. There are many things I would consider myself, but possible front man of an All-American Rejects tribute band is not one of them. This game clearly thinks otherwise. I still say that for the money, no game gets me as pumped up and just overjoyed at being a part of gaming like this game. Kicking out a five star performance on any instrument, but particularly vocals is hugely satisfying. Add to this the face that they actually know how to support the game and offer new songs and you have a game that you could conceivably, play until the Gods of Rock call us home. All they needs are downloadable albums to make the experience complete and I'll be a happy man. That is until Rock Band 2, which better have the Band World Tour mode over Live or I'm going to smack someone. Possibly you. It's nothing personal.

That's it for today kiddies. Be good.

Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword

So I'm playing Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword for GameShark and I'm about half way into it. Having never played a Ninja Gaiden game before, I wasn't sure what to expect. The only thing I knew about these games before playing this one was that the one on the Xbox was horrendously difficult. Thankfully, the difficulty is ramped way down for this one.

The stylus only control is nice, however it's not as elegant as it was in Phantom Hourglass. That being said, it is cool as hell to make Ryu jump in the air and then just by drawing a few strokes, slash the crap out of your enemies. It's not as precise as I'd like it to be, and too many times, a sword stroke will be translated as a movement, causing me to leave a room I didn't want to leave. It's not that I don't want to be rude to whatever monsters were throwing me a tea party, more that if you leave before killing everyone and then reenter the room, you have to fight them all over again. Bummer.

Honestly, it kind of feels like a poor man's God of War: Chains of Olympus. Maybe it's because God of War looked so good and controlled so well to then play something that doesn't look as good (although admittedly, it looks pretty good for the DS) and doesn't control nearly as well, it's a bit of a let down. If I hadn't played God of War, my opinion might be different, but maybe not. With God of War, I didn't want to put the PSP down, with this game, I'm good for about an hour, and then I'm ready to do something else. We'll see if my opinions change as I progress. I need to be done with it by middle of next week, so you won't have to wait that long to find out. Try and find something to do to pass the time.

Auction Results

The auction for Child's Play ended today and I'm glad to report that the winning bid came in at a whopping 100 bucks. That is well over what I hoped it would bring in, so I'm super thrilled that it was as successful as it was.

True to form, once I received payment, I made a payment of 100 dollars to Child's Play. Hopefully they can use the cash to get some kids some cool ass toys.

This whole charity auction thing is a bunch of fun and I'm already thinking of what I can do for the next one. Depending on who comes to DragonCon, I may be able to score some good autographed stuff to put on sale. Don't worry, I also have non-DragonCon related ideas, I just need to get my ass in gear and get to work.

I wanted to give a big thanks to the following people for helping with the auction:

• Thanks to everyone on my XBLF gaming message board for getting the bidding started and for ensuring that at the minimum, I'd bring in 25 bucks.
• Thanks to CheapyD at CheapAssGamers.com for posting about the auction and for bidding on it.
• Thanks to Bry at the JonathanCoulton.com forums for being so supportive and for keeping the auction on everyone's minds.
• Thanks to Bill Harris and Bill Abner for posting about the auction on their personal sites.
• Thanks to Hodge who stood in line and bought JoCo merchandise for us while I got the coveted autograph.
• Finally, thanks to Jonathan Coulton for being so supportive and for taking the time to chat and provide the autograph.

If you took time out of your day to check out and bid on the auction, thanks to you too. If you didn't, go to hell.

Kidding!

Mr. Bleh-nky

A new Mr. Binky is available today. It's by no means my best work. In fact, saying "best" connotes that it's any good at all, which I don't think it is. It seemed like a good idea in my head, but once I got started, it didn't quite work out. When these things happen, you can either scrap the idea and try something new or keep working in the hopes that everything works out. I tried the latter and should have done the former. I apologize dear reader, and will work to do better in the future.

The Glory of the Tubes

As I have grown older, I have acquired a fondness for t-shirts that is bordering on the insane. My favorite place for shirts is TopatoCo.com which originally started as the place for all your fine WIGU and Overcompensating t-shirts, but has since morphed into a free for all bonanza of excellent clothing bits. My two favorite shirts, "The Monkey Represents Sharing" and "Dr. Monkey Knows What You Did" are from TopatoCo.

Because I love these shirts so much, and because they represent a certain geek cachet, I usually wear them to my various geek gatherings, such as the Frontalot show and more recently, the Jonathan Coulton concert.

Imagine my surprise, when looking through the referrer logs for the site, I found that my picture of me and JoCo had been added to the TopatoCo photostream on Flikr. It's kind of odd to see yourself represented on the internet in a manner that you didn't expect, but at the same time, once shit is out there for all to see, it's out there. That being said, I don't care, and if it shows people that wearing TopatoCo merchandise means you get to hang out with cool-ass musicians, then I'm all for it. Now I just have to figure out a way to submit my picture with Frontalot and we'll be all set.

Knife Skills, Or the Lack Thereof

While making dinner tonight I learned yet again that years of constantly cutting the tip of my left thumb off has left said thumb essentially pain and blood free. You think I'm kidding, but I was chopping up bacon for my bacon cheeseburgers and I got a bit too close to my thumb. Whoopsie, there went the tip with a chunk of nail to go with it. No pain, no blood, just me pulling a big chunk of my DNA out of tonight's dinner. I've done it plenty of times before, particularly when peeling vegetables, but this was bigger than usual. I was kind of surprised to see that I didn't have to throw the bacon out due to added, unwanted plasma. Either I have to work on my knife skills, or eventually I'll lose all feeling in my fingers, thereby removing the need for better knife skills. Either way I win. My guests may lose as they pull random finger bits out of their cooking, but a free meal is a free meal. Luckily for them I wash my hands frequently while cooking.

Not being one to just gross you out and run, here's the recipe for the bacon cheeseburgers I was making, taken from Steven Raichlen's Indoor! Grilling.

1.5 lbs of ground beef
4 strips of thick cut bacon or 6 - 8 strips of thin cut (about 4 oz)
6 oz of smoked cheddar, shredded, about 1.5 cups
1 garlic clove, minced

1. Cook the bacon until crisp. Crumble or chop the cooked bacon.
2. In a large bowl, mix all of the ingredients together. You can use a wooden spoon, but I just get in there with my hands.
3. Form the resulting mixture into four equal patties about 3/4 inches thick and place the patties in the fridge for at least 20 minutes. This will keep them from falling apart on the grill.
4. Grill over direct medium heat for 8 minutes a side for well done. Due to the cheese in these burgers, they will flare up like a son of a bitch so you have to keep your eye on them and move them off the heat if necessary. The cheese also makes them super moist, so you can make them well done without risk of them drying out.

When finished, put 'em on a bun and top 'em with whatever pleases ye. We usually make a chipotle mayo which goes something like this, from the same recipe in Raichlen's book:

1/2 cup mayo
1 or 2 chipotle peppers + 1 Tbsp adobo sauce
1/2 tsp sweet paprika (you can use hot if you want, but I find that the resulting flavor is better with the sweet)

1. Mince the chipotle peppers.
2. Stir all ingredients together and let sit in the fridge for 20 minutes or so before slathering it on your burger or whatever you feel needs something slathered on it.

Enjoy!

On Children and Sore Throats

So, about a month or so ago my son was sidelined for a couple of days with a virus that gave him a sore throat. Since then, he has tried to get out going to school on almost a daily basis by claiming that his throat hurts. It doesn't help that he actually had a sore throat and a fever last week and was out of school for a day. It also doesn't help that it's been in the 30's at night, making the heat run and the upstairs furnace doesn't have a humidifier on it so when we get up in the morning, we all have a slight sore throat from breathing in dry air all night.

Unfortunately on top of the faking we have what can only be called an absolutely dismal performance on Ben's part. If you're going to go through the trouble of lying about being sick, at least try and sell it. Yesterday morning, Linda saw Ben happily frolicking in the hall and when he saw her, he quickly ran back into his room and then reemerged a moment later, shuffling and downtrodden, complaining that his throat hurts. I mean, come on. Once you've been seen acting like a puppy in a meadow of chew toys, you can't then try and pull a fast one. You've been busted punk.

This morning he was a little tired as well, so he got upset that we could see through his ruse and actually started crying. The lack of a fever and the lack of any redness or swelling let us know that he was basically just being pissy about having to go to school, which is when I showed off the parenting skills that will undoubtedly win me Parent of the Year and I told him that I didn't want to hear about his sore throat unless it was preventing him from functioning like a normal human being. I have no idea what that means, honestly. You deal with this bullshit every morning for a month and see how coherent you are. Now, the bad thing is that we will no doubt, send him to school one day when he is legitimately sick because we'll just assume he's faking, but hey, that's what happens to children who cry wolf. They throw up during circle time. Check the fable, it's in there.

BSG Season 3

Battlestar Galactica season 3 came out last week and Linda and I have started watching it so that we can be ready for the fourth season come April 4th.

I had forgotten how uncomfortable this show can make you, particularly during the first five episodes. There are some things shown in the third season that you just don't see on mainstream television. On the one hand, it's a shame that more people don't watch the show, but on the other hand, if they did, I doubt you'd see the things that went down on New Caprica. I'm just glad that the low ratings didn't turn into cancellation and that we'll be able to see the show end the way that the creators want it to.

That being said, I could do without all of the wonky stuff that took place on the Cylon base star. A lot of that was just silly.

Onward to Earth!

The Concert

In a word, Jonathan Coulton was awesome. Absolutely, unequivocally, 100 per cent awesome. It was fucking, deep fried awesome covered in awesome sauce.

First of all, I haven't laughed that hard at a comedy movie or show, much less a concert, in some time. Paul and Storm was funny, as was JoCo, however the combination of the three of them were too much for our tender sides to handle. The ease with which they interacted with each other and the crowd was amazing to watch. It was effortless. You could tell that they all really liked each other, as well as really enjoyed performing. On Jonathan's site today he apologized for the energy being a little off, no doubt because he was still jetlagged from London, but if that show was one with off kilter energy, his normal shows must blow the roof off.

He did a really great selection of songs, including all the favorites such as "Code Monkey", "Mandelbrot Set", "Skullcrusher Mountain" and "Still Alive" however my favorite by far was "Shop Vac". I wasn't familiar with the song and never has the soul crushing ennui of suburbia been captured in such an upbeat song. It was a really good set, with a very good variety of songs and it showed off his range as a songwriter well. I liked the set so much that I bought the "Thing a Week" boxed set after the show, complete with autographed shiny tin. Hodge bought one as well, so impressed was he.

After the show I got an opportunity to chat with JoCo a bit, although in retrospect I used most of that time to get his autograph for the auction and to blather on like an idiot as I am wont to do when in the presence of musical genius. Along with the Portal shirt, I also got my Skullcrusher Mountain shirt autographed and believe me when I say that I may never wash it.

Here's a picture of the guys all on stage. Jonathan is in the middle. I took it with my phone's camera, hence the crappy picture.

Here's a picture of Jonathan and I. Look how cool he is! I continue my tradition of rocking monkey based Overcompensating.com t-shirts while hobnobbing with musicians. I hope Frontalot isn't jealous. He'll always be my first.

In other news, the auction is off to a rousing success with the shirt already up to $76 bucks. I had hoped for 50, so I'm absolutely thrilled to death. I emailed a bunch of gaming sites, none of which posted anything about it save for Cheapy D at Cheapassgamer.com. Cheapy D, you are a gentleman and a scholar. You folks at Joystiq, Kotaku, Destructoid and Wired's Game | Life blog still have time to raise yourself up to the same super awesome level as Cheapy D, but you better get cracking. JoCo eclipses you all though as not only did he sign the shirt, but posted about it on his site. Rock on Johnny C. Rock on.

For those of you who think that 76 bucks is too much for a shirt, it is for charity, so get bidding!

Jonathan Coulton Autographed Portal t-shirt

More on the concert later, but for now, I'm selling a Penny Arcade Portal t-shirt, autographed by none other than Jonathan Coulton himself. All proceeds from the auction go to Child's Play. Wowzers!

Head on over and start bidding!

Nothing to Say

As hard as I may try, I find myself with absolutely nothing to say today. Truthfully, there's not a lot going on, which is a good thing. Tomorrow night Hodge and I will travel to the Variety Playhouse to take in Jonathan Coulton but other than that, there's not a lot going on. I'm looking forward to the show, despite not really knowing any of his songs. The stuff I have listened to I enjoy immensely, it's more an opportunity to go and hang out with my fellow geeks. Two weeks after that I'm going to see Iron and Wine and two weeks after that will be Bruce Springsteen. Clearly in Atlanta, springtime makes a young man's heart turn to music.

Next week the first toys from the Transformers Animated line come out and I intend to buy them all, even if it means that the Hasbro Toy Shop ships them to me well after I could get them in the store. I just went on an epic multi-store toy hunt for Grindcore, employing others in my cause as well, so I'm a little tired of the retail extravaganza that is hunting down Transformers. I'm sure once I know that the toys are out there, I'll still go to the stores so that I might fondle the packaging, but I'll do my best to keep my purchasing impulses in check.

Guess that's it. Have a good weekend. If all goes well at the concert on Saturday, I'll have an opportunity for you to help out a good charity as well as score some sweet autographed merchandise in one fell swoop. Words can not describe how fell this swoop will be.

Beware the Madness of March

March Madness is upon us and I think that means basketball. It is basketball, right? I could care less about college basketball, but as I do every year I fill out a bracket in hopes of claiming victory. Right now I'm 34th out of 40, or possibly 42. Luckily none of the first round picks that I lost were picked to go any farther than the first round, so it's not like I just lost out on picking one of the Final Four. I expect that to come later. Honestly, I could care less about winning, I just like picking, and I like the guys at the Sports Gamer Blog (they're putting it on) and if I do win, I get to pick out any game I want as long as it's sixty bucks or under. Right now I think I'd go with Condemned 2: Bloodshot because nothing helps to celebrate the joy of winning your college basketball bracket like beating down a crazed hobo with a bowling pin.

Wish me luck. And go Kansas!

The PA Trip

As I mentioned before, our trip to Pennsylvania was a successful one. We went because my grandmother, my dad's mom, turned 90. As it's not every day that a family member turns 90, we felt we should be there. Well, that and it was presented by my dad as something we really didn't have a choice about.

I must admit that I wasn't exactly looking forward to the trip. Yes, the children weathered the trip to NY at Thanksgiving, however in that case, we all had our own rooms and in this case, we were all sharing a room at the Econolodge. A room, that, in the end, had several HBO channels, but nothing other than two shelves upon which to place our clothing. The lodgings ended up being the nightmare I thought it would be with the kids not getting to sleep until around 10 every night (a good two to two and a half hours past their normal bedtime) and because they're incapable of sharing a bed without bugging each other, Linda and I had to share a bed with a child. Not sure if you've ever watched a kid sleep, but they're all over the place. Just as I was nodding off on Friday night, my son kicked me in the spine, and he was facing away from me. It was not fun. Then, because they weren't getting to bed until late, and the paper thin walls made them not sleep so well, and then they got up early, neither one of them were in the best of moods. Luckily, they reserved this bad mood for us and us alone and were very, very good around family.

This is a good thing because we were around family quite a bit. This was the first time in a long time since all of the grandkids were together, and the first time ever that all of the great-grandkids were together. It was nice to see my aunts and uncles and all of my cousins, but mostly, it was nice to see my grandmother so happy. It really meant a lot to her that we were all able to be there and if it meant spending the weekend with two tired, cranky children, it was a price well worth paying.

Some highlights of the trip included:

A trip to Primanti Bros.
I first heard of this place on the excellent PBS show "Sandwiches That You Will Like". The thing about a Primanti Bros. sandwich is the layer of fries they put on it. In retrospect, I should have gotten something other than corned beef as the spicy sausage was speaking to me, and in these situations, when the sausage speaks to me, I really should listen. As it turned out, the coleslaw and fries had less flavor than I thought they would have, and corned beef is rather mild. The spice of some sausage would have been just the thing. It was still a good sandwich, and quite filling, and I'm glad I was able to knock 1/23rd of the likable sandwiches off the list.

Steve and Barry's everything for under $8.98 sale
Steve and Barry's is a clothing store that, from what I can gather, has these sales where everything in the store is $8.98 or less. Not sure how much things are regularly, but when I say everything was under nine bucks, I mean everything. T-shirts, dress shirts, pants, coats, kids' clothes, outerware, you name it, it's nine bucks. It's a nice store too, with a clothing line from Sarah Jessica Parker, Venus Williams and Stephan Marbury to name a few. They also have a very nice collection of pop culture and superhero t-shirts. I bought two ringer t-shirts and Ben and I bought matching Captain America t-shirts. As I understand it, the plan is for us to wear them on Friday. Oh joy!

My grandmother beating up my daughter with balloons
I know this sounds strange and believe me, it was strange to watch. So it's the end of my grandmother's birthday party and the kids are all running around with the balloons used to decorate the place. I'm talking to my cousin about what I don't remember, when I hear all this laughing and my cousin points behind me and says "Look what your grandmother is doing with your daughter." I turn around to find that they've gotten in a balloon fight with one another and my grandmother is beating the crap out of my kid with balloons. She's just wailing my daughter in the head with them while Abby laughs hysterically and tries frantically to overcome the height differential. It seems strange, but seeing that really made the trip worth it. My grandmother was having such a good time, as was my kid and everyone else watching it, and dammit, if you can manage to get yourself to 90, you should be able to do just about anything you want to at your party, even if that includes wailing on a three year old with balloons.

Getting home
Technically you wouldn't consider that part of the trip, but with this crew, any trip you come home alive from is a good one.

Leveraging Existing Synergies

In an orgy of business speak, GameShark brings you not only my Super Smash Bros. Brawl review, but my Mr. Binky column is all about, you guessed it, Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Despite my inability to see more than five minutes into the future, I actually worked my ass off to get my review done so that it could run the same day as the Binkster. You're welcome.

Back from PA

We've returned from the frozen North intact and anxious to no longer be in Pennsylvania. Nothing against the state, but western PA in March is pretty dreary, especially when the sun doesn't come out.

I'll post more about the trip later, complete with pictures. I know you can't wait.

Despite tornadoes ripping through Atlanta, our homestead emerged unscathed, so great is the power of Hyphenridge. The dogs appeared to react to the weather with their usual stalwart blend of hiding and vomitus, necessitating a quick bout of carpet cleaning, but it's nothing we're not used to. I'm sure they were glad to see us until the children started chasing them around. Then I'm sure they would have preferred the tornadoes. After a weekend with my children, the idea of being ripped apart by gale force winds seemed like sweet, sweet release.

In other news, I finished my Super Smash Bros. Brawl review. All I can say is "whew". Nothing left now but to um...well, play Super Smash Bros. Brawl to unlock everything. Fun!

On Vacation

I'm taking a few days off as the family and I head to the wilds of Pennsylvania to celebrate my grandmother's 90th birthday. I'll try and do some posts from the road, but who knows if cellular technology has reached deep in to PA's mountainous heart? Enjoy your weekend.

God of War review

My take on God of War: Chains of Olympus is up. I'm the first person to complain about the length of a game, so if I give it an A despite being so short, that's saying something. Maybe it's because when I played the original, I got tired of it about 8 hours into it so 7 - 8 hours is my Kratos sweet spot. Dunno. Anyway, enjoy the review.

Single Minded

Not much to say today as I'm still knee deep in Smash Brothers and I'm getting tired of talking about it, so I can only assume you're ten times more tired of reading about it. I've been coming home every day at lunch to play it, bringing some coworkers with me today and we had an absolute blast. It's amazing how grown men can thump their chest about winning as a giant, spiked lizard as if they just knocked our Joe Frasier. Online continues to vex me, which, unfortunately, I'll have no choice but to knock the game for in the review, unless they can get their shit together in the next couple of days.

I said I wasn't going to talk about Smash, and looky there, I did. I'm a bad man.

We're currently watching season 2 of "Without a Trace" on DVD. What a great show this is. I'm not one for procedural dramas, as I like overarching stories, but this such a well done show, I'm ok with most things being wrapped up in an episode. Anthony LaPaglia is a damn fine actor. Now they just need to release the third season on up on DVD and we'll be all set.

Back to smashing. Bye!

Lost

Another day, another review. This time, Lost: Via Domus falls victim to my piercing gaze.

Smashtastic

Super Smash Brothers Brawl dropped yesterday and I have been playing it religiously ever since, such a good little reviewer am I. This is hot on the heels of me finishing God of War: Chains of Olympus in record time so that I could get that review in the can and start working on this one. It's not exactly the way I like to play these games, however there's so much content to Smash Brothers, that I can get enough done to write a coherent review and still have plenty of trophies, stickers and songs to unlock. Yeah, I said stickers.

While I give a lot of credit to Nintendo for offering so many control schemes between the Wiimote, Wiimote and nunchuck, classic controller and Gamecube controlller, there's really no reason to play this game with anything but the Gamecube controller. Seriously, the Wiimote only option? It's a mess, an unmitigated disaster. Luckily, adding a Nunchuck makes the control scheme open like a flower, ready to accept the sun's rays, or in this case, being punched by a large monkey. Or a small one, your choice. The classic controller, purchased just for this game, doesn't quite work, despite it's layout being similar to the Gamecube controller. I think it's because it's so small, or maybe it's the double shoulder button motif. Not really sure. The control sticks are fairly loose, which certainly doesn't help and I think with time I could learn to love the classic controller, however I have two Wavebirds ready and waiting for my nimble fingers to play them as instruments in my symphony of ass whipping, so I don't need to get used to anything. I kind of feel bad that people who don't have Gamecube controllers are missing out on the best control scheme, but the Wiimote and Nunchuck works so I guess it's not that bad.

The game is awesome, as was expected. It didn't take me long to get back into the swing of things however my entry back was marred by an absolutely horrible first match as my old buddy Pikachu. I was quite depressed afterwards, thinking that I had lost all of my mojo, but a short time later I was kicking ass and taking name. I can somewhat understand the various reviewers knocking the game for not being that much different than Melee, but at the same time, Melee is awesome, which means that at the absolute worse, Brawl is just as awesome. That's a hard problem to have.

We're traveling to the wilds of PA this weekend for my grandmother's 90th birthday, so I'm doing my best to have my review written before then so that when I get back I can just fuck around in the game. We'll see. Truth be told, I'd feel pretty comfortable writing the review now, but I haven't gotten in any online matches, save one against a very wily Fox McCloud who managed to put together a last minute Dragoon strike to seal my fate. I still need to play with 3 other folks locally as well as online before I can put my unique seal of approval on it. In the mean time, it's back to the Smash Brothers salt mines with me. Ike demands nothing less than perfection.

Brett Favre

While I'm not surprised that Brett Favre retired, I am disappointed. Whenever you see someone who is not only talented, but has so much fun doing their job, it's a joy to watch them. There are so many professional athletes who spend so much time whining about this slight or that slight, that when you do see someone who just genuinely enjoys playing the game, it's a nice change. Oh, I'm sure that Favre had his moments too and I just don't know about them, but when you watched him play, he just seemed to be having the time of his life.

From a more personal perspective, he took over for the Packers in the 92 season, which was only two years before I graduated from college. I didn't start following football again until after I had graduated, so for all of those years I was watching, Brett Favre was playing. To think that it's been 16 years is odd, because it means that I've been out of school for almost 16 years. Between this little reminder and the fact that in October, Linda and I will celebrate 17 years together the writing is on the wall that I am, in fact getting older. Not that I mind as my getting older means that the kids are getting older which means that Linda and I are that much closer to getting them the hell out of the house. It's just strange how you can blink your eye and 16 years have passed. Brett Favre has more NFL records than you can shake a stick at to show for his 16 years. Me, I have a kick ass Lego Batmobile in my bedroom. Oddly enough, I'm pretty happy with that.

Anyway, thanks for all of the good NFL moments, Mr. Favre. Enjoy the next chapter of your life, whatever you may do and wherever it may take you. If you ever find yourself back in Atlanta, you're welcome to stop by and check out the Lego sets. The Batmobile in the bedroom is particularly impressive.

Handhelds 3, Consoles 0

I started playing God of War: Chains of Olympus this evening and so far, I'm having a blast. It's God of War, just on a handheld, which is pretty much the best you can hope for. Unless things take a drastic turn for the worst, it'll get pretty high marks from me come review time. This game marks the third handheld game in a row that will end up with a review score in the A - B range from me, the other two being Apollo Justice and Professor Layton. I must admit that I'm not quite sure what to do. Reviewing crappy games is my shtick and without it, I don't know how to function.

Thankfully I have console games to fall back on as Lost: Via Domus is a ball of crap. Oh sure, the achievements come fast and furious, but at 60 bucks for the 360 version, it's as big a rip-off as you're going to find. This marks the second console game in a row that will be getting a low review score from me, the other one being Bomberman Land. Come to think of it, Bomberman Land makes Lost look like BioShock so I'm not sure how the scores will shake out. Thankfully Super Smash Brothers Brawl will be here on Sunday to stem the tide of crappy console games. Smash be praised! At least I hope it stems the tide. I'm not emotionally equipped to handle the possibility that the game sucks. Seriously, I think that would break my spirit and send me spiraling into despair so let's not think about it, and instead just continue to think that it's the greatest game ever, ever, ever.

Ever.

RIP Dungeon Master

Word came over the wire today that after a period of failing health, Gary Gygax, inventor of Dungeons and Dragons has passed away.

To say that Mr. Gygax had in impact on my childhood is an understatement. Dungeons and Dragons is woven into the very fiber of my being like no other game. While I never got into the huge, weekly matches that so many enjoyed, when I was a kid, Dungeons and Dragons was the first, and usually best way to identify that someone else was a fellow geek, before the internet served as a place to call home. I used to spend hours lying in bed reading the different monster manuals and just staring at all of the pictures. I'd dream that I was a paladin, or a dashing rogue going on some dungeon crawl in search of treasure. The Deities and Demigods book was of particular interest to me as I was huge into mythology at the time and I loved how the gods in the book matched up with what I had learned from other books. Besides, how else would an 8 year old learn about Babylonian gods and goddesses such as Tiamat?

My favorite video game of all time, Baldur's Gate 2 is based on Dungeons and Dragons and it was due to the incredible richness of the character classes that I grew to love it so much. Hell, my band in Rock Band is called "Saving Throw" and their first album is "We Roll Twenties". So while I may not have put in the time crouched around a table rolling to see if you can pick up the arm of the ogre you just dismembered and use it as a club (actually I have done that) Dungeons and Dragons has influenced so much of the gamer geek culture I hold dear, and so much of the gamer geek that I am incredibly proud to be, that this is a very said day. A said day indeed.

Thank you Mr. Gygax for everything you did. Safe journey and I hope there's nothing but platinum pieces, tankards of ale and elven maidens for you from here on out.

Mr. Binky Episode 12

Greetings. Snidely Whiplash returns in this week's latest Mr. Binky. I think I've really nailed Snidely's voice, which is sad because it means that a) I think a cartoon character has a "voice" and b) I've nailed it after writing two columns. I hadn't planned on pulling this particular prop out again, but it was convenient and I couldn't think of anything else. Personally, I think my original piece was stronger, but Mr. Abner felt changes were needed. As an artist, I am perpetually misunderstood and my genius trampled upon by the plebeian masses. Such is the burden I bear.

Happy Monday

Greetings, and welcome to a new week.

Lost: Via Domus arrived via GameFly today and I've started my quest to do whatever the hell I'm supposed to be doing in this game. So far I'm not impressed, but I did get 105 points in only about an hour and fifteen minutes of playing, so at least the points come fast and furiously. If I were Harold Perrineau (Michael) I'd be looking to find whoever was responsible for my character model so that I could deliver an ass whupping, personal style. The in-game Michael looks like he has some sort of problem where his eyes are in constant danger of exploding out of his head. It ain't pretty.

I bought some new Transformers, which should come as no surprise, but I haven't purchased them all yet, so I'll hold off on that post until they're all home safe and sound. Try and contain your excitement.

No Games Here

My wife mentioned this evening that all of my posts of late have been about games. It's hard to disagree with the truth, so tonight, no posts about games.

Instead I'm going to tell you something about my wife. When you've been with someone as long as Linda and I have been together (17 years in October) the smallest of things serve to further endear them to you. Not sure if it's because you've already been through the big moments and the part of the relationship where your partner shits butter cookies and rainbows and can do no wrong, and now you're living with a real life person with quirks and things that annoy you and as such, it's small things that matter more to remind you why you love them so damn much.

I don't know. At any rate, we have this store by where I work called "Boca Bargoons". I couldn't tell you what's in it, but it appears to be eastern Indian and other Asian home items, and possibly carpets. It doesn't matter. What matters is that every time we pass the store, Linda says "Boca Bargoooooooons" in this silly, kind of way where it's like she's trying to a very bad Indian accent and hold out the oooooo part for a bit. It's just a silly thing she does, one of many. Wednesday, I found myself with nothing to do at lunch, and playing games on my DS was only making me fall asleep. I decided to go on a toy hunt to a Walmart that's fairly out of my way. To do so, I had to pass Boca Bargoons, and once I saw the store, without warning, in popped my head Linda saying "Boca Bargoooooooons". It caught me off guard, and it made me laugh, which is yet another reason why I love her, because she puts things in my head that catches me off guard and makes me laugh at the same time.

It's a little thing, but it's enough.

Turnabout Speed

Now that's what I call fast. Wednesday I finished my Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney review and today it is up for your enjoyment. Kapow! Those that enjoy the series will notice my nod to it in the title of today's post. Those that don't play it will think I'm my usual incompetent self.

I Hate Informants

Seriously, I hate them. It's times like this, I'm not sure which I hate more, informants incapable of killing their own damn Templars, or the achievement that requires me to go and kill said Templars. At this point, I think it's a draw. I have one more informant left before I can do my final assassination and it's a doozy. Five kills in five minutes, they're all bunched up and the damn crazy people keep punching me. Maybe tomorrow night, when I'm coming in fresh I can take care of it, but tonight I was so pissed, I started assassinating citizens just to blow off steam. Don't mess with the pissed off assassin!

In other news, I'll be reviewing Lost: Via Domus for the 360. I have zero expectations as I remember being burned by the X-Files PC game years and years ago, but it's supposed to be short, fairly simple and an easy 1000 points. The fact that I'll get paid 50 bucks to play it is just gravy.

Finally, have you heard about the joy that is Puzzle Quest: Galactrix? It's Puzzle Quest, in space, but the board pieces are hexagonal and instead of the pieces falling just from the top, they may come in from the side, based on where your ship is. It's not supposed to drop until autumn, so between that and football season, you can go ahead and just hit the fast forward button right now.

Bomberman Land Review

My review of Bomberman Land for the Wii is up. Man, what a crappy game that was. Enjoy!

Steak, A Man's Job

I forgot to post this while Linda was away, but usually when she's gone, I use the opportunity to try out some new things in the kitchen. This time was no exception and what I was trying out was Alton Brown's steak recipe from Good Eats. It's pretty simple and you can find it on the Food Network site, but here it is, in a nutshell.

1. Get your 1.5 inch thick steak up to room temperature. I know that when grilling, opinions on this differ with proponents saying that cold meat retains all the juices in the center, thereby making it easier to dry out the edges. I'm assuming that those opposed to it aren't so much opposed to it but they just don't think you should deep six the idea of a steak dinner just because you forgot to take the meat out of the fridge 30 minutes before dinner.
2. Open all the windows in your kitchen and turn on whatever fans you have in the place. Trust me.
3. Take your dry cast iron skillet and place it in the oven. Preheat the oven to 500 degrees. It's important that the pan be dry as the pan is going to get stinking hot which means you'll have some damn hot oil there when you put the meat in. It's important that the pan be cast iron as Teflon will start giving off toxic fumes over400 degrees. If you want to burn down you're house from flaming gobbets of teflon covered oil while you choke to death, I guess that's your prerogative.
4. Once the oven gets to about 400 degrees, cover the steak on both sides with canola oil, salt and pepper, in that order. Don't salt the meat too early or you'll dry it out.
5. When the oven gets to 500 degrees, take the pan out (use potholders), and put it on the range on high heat.
6. Put the steak in the pan and cook it for 30 seconds. Don't touch it while it's cooking.
7. Flip the steak and then cook it for another 30 seconds. Again, don't touch it.
8. Put the steak/pan combo in the 500 degree oven for 2 minutes.
9. Take the pan out, flip the steak and then put it back in for another 2 minutes.
10. Take the pan and steak out and let the steak rest for another 2 minutes. I took it out of the pan, but I guess it's your choice. If you really want a great tasting steak, place a pat of butter on the steak while it rests.

For a steak that's about an inch and a half thick, this gives you a very tasty, medium-rare steak. If you want your steak more well done, add a minute to each side while you're cooking. Presumably you could add two per side if you want it closer to well done. I prefer my steaks still kicking so I wouldn't know.

Once you're done, put it on a plate with a huge baked potato, take the plate and a beer, put both on a ghastly place mat and then sit down to watch Transformers: Animated. You'll end up with something like this:


Oh yeah. Check out all that rare, beefy goodness. The steak had been in the freezer for almost a year, so the parts that were more than rare were a bit chewy, but the rare parts were like butter. Butter I tell you, butter! Had the steak been fresh, I bet it could have stood up to a little more time in the oven and been just as good. The kitchen smoked up like a son of a bitch, so I'm serious when I mention the part about opening the windows.

Incidentally, the title of this post comes from some cookbook from the 50's Linda and I found. The basis of it is that cooking is woman's work, except for steak which is a man's job, presumably because men used to stalk giant, prehistoric cows on the fields of yore, slay them and then roast their succulent flesh over an open fire while the women-folk tended to the children. It was pretty dang funny despite being horribly off base. I mean they forgot ribs. Ribs are a man's job too.

Ok, Break's Over

The wife is back, the children are happy to have the nicer parent home and it's time I should get back into posting on a regular basis. Not with anything substantial anyway, but at this point, anything is better than nothing. Maybe not. Really, I have no idea.

I've been playing a lot of Assassin's Creed of late and while it is a very beautiful game, there are some annoying design choices that mar the experience. For one, the informant missions are just plain annoying. The way it works is that when you get a new target, you have to do side missions in order to find out enough information about your target so that the local Assassination Bureau is confident that you won't fuck things up. Some of the side missions you do involve you going to an informant, a fellow assassin, and doing all of their dirty work so that they tell you stuff.

The informants fall into several categories. One guy, who you see multiple times, is just a dick and wants to make you jump around like a monkey before he'll help you. I get that. We all have coworkers who won't help us until we listen to their boring ass vacation stories, or get them a soda, or a cheese danish, or whatever. The other guys are either cowards or layabouts. Either they have to kill someone, but they don't know how, or they have to kill like nine guys and they want you to do it because, and these are two real reasons I've been given in the game, it's hot, or their back hurts. Seriously? You're part of a brotherhood of lethal killers, men who can slip in and out of a crowd and take out your target while the whole city is watching, and you can't nail your targets because it's too hot? It's fucking Damascus! It's hot city! Loser. It wouldn't be so bad if you didn't have to do all of these guys' work at your leisure, but no, you have time limits. Tonight I had to kill five guys in five minutes, while dodging the guards, flinging aside beggars, and getting punched by crazy/mentally deficient people. It ain't fun. Granted, I'm doing all of this so I can get an achievement, so I guess that makes me the mentally deficient one, but that's nothing new.

The free running stuff is definitely cool, and it seems to be a nice compliment to the system in Crackdown. Crackdown certainly gave you a much better superhero feeling to it as you jumped 30 foot gaps at a time, but this game is much more realistic in how your character finds footholds, and different grips to scale the different structures. As I said, it's all very impressive, on a technical level, and if I were playing the game without having to do all of the side missions, it'd probably be more fun, so some of the problems are of my own choosing, but at the same time, why put in side missions if they're not going to be any fun? I think that Crackdown struck a much better balance. The side missions, namely killing all of the gang leader's generals, had a tangible benefit on the killing of the gang leader in that there would be fewer gang members, or fewer guns, or whatever. In Assassin's Creed, the side missions don't really tell you anything you wouldn't figure out on your own as you go about casing the joint.

Despite all this, I'm still having fun playing the game, and the ramping up in difficulty seems to work fairly well. I'm not looking forward to the one versus one hundred fight at the end, but hey, it's all in a day's work. I'm sure I'm up to the task.

I'm also playing the new Apollo Justice game which is the sequel to the Phoenix Wright series, and so far I'm really enjoying it. It sticks to the same formula as the Phoenix Wright series, but there's some updates to it, as well as some more gentle prodding for those new to the series. This game also takes advantage of the DS's touch screen, which is something the Phoenix Wright series never did, with the exception of the last case in the first game. Granted, it's not huge things, but enough to make you have fun with the system. My review is due on Friday, so look for it in the coming weeks. After that I'm taking on God of War: Chains of Olympus for the PSP, Super Smash Brothers Brawl and Baroque for the Wii and Ninja Gaiden: Dragon Sword for the DS. That should bring me to the end of March. After that, I'm not sure as I haven't looked that far ahead in the release calendar. Once I figure it out, I'll be sure to let you know.

There. I think that catches us up nicely. Stay tuned for more endless rambling tomorrow.

Professor Layton review

My review for Professor Layton and the Curious Village is up and it gets a big old A from your's truly. Run and look for yourself!

Mr. Binky, Ace Reporter

It's been two weeks since the last Mr. Binky, so here's another one for you. It's not my best work. I had planned on doing a riff on Professor Layton, but everyone and their mother appeared to have the same idea. Such is the curse of the popular game. If you haven't played No More Heroes, I'm not sure how funny today's installment will be. Hell, even if you have played it, it probably isn't very funny. You try coming up with something humorous every other week and see how long it is until you run out of good ideas. Go on, I dare ya.

Sporadic Updates

The wife is traveling this week, which puts me on the spot for all things child related. This, combined with the fact that I finished Professor Layton early (don't wait for the review, just go and buy it) and can spend two full nights gaming without the review monkey on my back means that updates will be sporadic this week. I'll do my best to stick to our usual schedule, but after an evening of being the chief cook, bottle washer, laundress and child wrangler, when the time to sit down comes and I have to choose between the blog and Assassin's Creed, well, let's just say that there will be a few less Templars in the world.

I will comment that the new Batman Lego sets that they unveiled at Toy Fair means that I am seriously running out of space. The fact that my Collector's edition Batmobile is on the tv in my bedroom, and that my Alternator's Ravage and First Watch Optimus Prime are in the movie room means that my toys have already started to bleed out into the rest of the house, where the normal folk live. Between all of the Transformers and the new Lego sets, I literally have no space for it all. Time to build that addition we've always dreamed about. I know that you might be thinking that I don't have to buy the Batman Lego sets, but seriously, Harley Quinn drives a huge ATV equipped with a mallet labeled "Whack-A-Bat". How can I not have that?

I can't not have it. That's how. Sheesh. The nerve of some people.

Christmas in February

Oh, glorious of glorious weekends, Toy Fair '08 is upon is and with it, thrilling news of Transformers. I already read about the upcoming schedule, which looks like June for the Animated line and fall for the Universe (Classics 2.0) line. Today brought pictures of the Universe line, and for the most part, I'm quite happy.

You can check them out for yourself at Wizard's Toy Fair coverage site.

Really, the only one I don't like is Blaster. Soundwave is cool because he's Soundwave, not because he's a stealth bomber. Recoloring him into Blaster makes him just a poorly colored copy of Soundwave. That's just me though. The rest look pretty dang good. If the link to the Transformer story doesn't have pictures of Powerglide, you can see both forms in the Wizard Photo Gallery.

The other big piece of news today is the report from Japan that Toshiba is finally dropping support for HD-DVD. With that, my resolve in the face of a PS3 crumbles even further. I've resisted a PS3 up until this point because I have a hard time playing the three consoles I have, so getting another one doesnt make sense, however a PS3 would replace the PS2, so the number wouldn't increase. More importantly, I'd be scoring a Blu-Ray player that is future proof. I know that I've stated in this space before that I didn't like the idea of buying a PS3 because Sony upper management has been such a barrel of pricks, however I've got friends who are on their 5th or 6th 360 and I can assure you that Microsoft has no shortage of pricks working for them either. Yeah, Sony management may open their mouths on a regular basis and let a torrent of shit pour out, but at least owning a PS3 doesn't put you in a constant state of fear of hardware failure. I'm waiting to see what is announced at GDC, however if the rumor of a sub-300 40GB model comes to fruition, you can look for Mister Binky on the PSN. Besides, the more consoles I have, the greater pool I can draw from for reviews.

On that subject, I'll be rocking some pretty high profile reviews in the coming months, for both Super Smash Brothers Brawl and God of War for the PSP. I'd like to paint it as something having to do with my mammoth talent, but the truth is that we're working on a first come, first serve basis, and I happened to come first.

Ew. I think I'll stop now.

Tired

Tired. So...very...tired.

It was a long week and with Linda going away for most of next week, it's going to be even longer. For now, I have to play some Professor Layton and then I'm going to bed. My sweet, sweet bed.

You Can't Spell "Fucking Stupid" without IGN

Greetings.

Sorry for the lack of a post yesterday. Between sick kids, general apathy and Professor Layton's steely grip, I didn't find, or make the time to be with you, my sweet, sweet audience. Will you ever find it in your heart to forgive me, especially on this, the day of St. Valentine? I can only hope you will.

Speaking of Professor Layton, the game continues to impress as only a puzzle/adventure game mash-up can. I know that all adventure games have puzzles in them, however unlike in traditional adventure games where the puzzle is you figuring out how to move a water buffalo off the road with a hex bolt and a dilithium crystal, Professor Layton does away with all of this nonsense and instead just offers some straight up puzzle madness in order for you to continue. Want someone to give you some more info on the rash of kidnappings? Here, solve this matchstick puzzle. On the face of it, it makes as little sense as the puzzles you find in a traditional adventure game, however it's a lot more palatable in this game as, in real life you could probably get that water buffalo off of the road with other things you have in your inventory, or just walk around the damn thing, however in real life if someone doesn't want to tell you something until you solve their damnable riddles, there's not much you can do about it, short of inflicting bodily harm. At least I find it more palatable, and seeing how I'm reviewing it, my opinion is the one that matters. Tee-hee-hee.

Speaking of reviews, thereby getting us to the idea behind the post's title, IGN's review of Professor Layton dropped and it has to be one of the dumbest reviews I've ever read. There is a certain lack of quality I've come to expect from IGN, as I'm sure all of you have, however this takes the cake. The score isn't really an issue, as an 8 out of 10 is perfectly fine, if a bit low in my estimation, it's the reasoning behind the score I have a problem with. Part of this fellow's problem with the game is that it doesn't prevent you from cheating. According to the reviewer, you can answer a question incorrectly and then turn it off and turn it back on so that you basically get a free shot at answering it again. Never mind the fact that multiple choice questions make up about 25% of the questions and that for the other questions that require you to move a matchstick, or enter a numerical answer you could be turning your DS on and off literally dozens of times before stumbling upon the right answer, the fact of the matter is that it's not the developer's job to program in ways to keep you from cheating, especially from cheating in a manner that involved you cutting power to the fucking device. Plus, not only is this person stupid enough to think that he should be kept from cheating, but even his cheating is stupid. You can go online and get the answers to every puzzle as Japan is on their third Professor Layton game, and with the exception of a handful of puzzles, all of the puzzles are the same between the US and Japanese version of Curious Village. Maybe Level should have programmed in a signal that disables any internet connection within a 500 foot radius so that you can't go online and figure out the answer.

I'm the first to admit that reviews are subjective and the game is not completely without fault, however to knock a game because it doesn't prevent you from, or penalize you for turning your DS on and off to get around getting a wrong answer for only 25% of the game's puzzles is patently stupid. If I pulled that shit, Bill would have my balls for door knockers. No wonder publishers have contempt for games journalism, although I'm loathe to call this journalism if this kind of shit is regularly allowed.

Dumbass.

Anyway, enjoy your Valentine's Day. Unless you're single, at which point you should just hunker down and ignore the love struck morons all around you. Tomorrow the roses will die, the candy will melt and they'll go back to hating each other.

2/3

As of this writing, I am 2/3 of the way done with Mass Effect having finished my second run through, the Hardcore one, this evening. All that's left is the insane run and getting to level 60, as well as some other achievement mop ups. Saying I'm 2/3 of the way done is actually optimistic as I'm sure I'll have to start a 4th run to get to level 60 as well as a 5th run to get my last two Biotic achievements. It's an achievement whore's life for me. Yo-ho-ho and all that. Despite the final side missions being a total drag, the last few hours of this game are still a rush, and are unmatched by anything out there today. Them folks at BioWare sure do know how to make some epic cut scenes. I'm going to wait to do the third run through for some time as I have No More Heroes to play as well as a bunch of review games coming up. Someone has to review Wii ATV racing games, so it might as well be me.

In other news, my son is sick with some sort of viral infection that caused his lymph nodes to swell up like large walnuts. He's either sick, or his neck is hulking out and is corded with rage. Given that he's not green and isn't jumping around the house wearing nothing but purple pants, I'm going with sick. Unlike my daughter, who requires near constant attention when sick, when not sick too, come to think of it, my son is content to lie on the couch all day and watch cartoons. I have been using this experience as an opportunity to get him all caught up on both The Batman and Justice League cartoons. My fondest wish is that he'd like Batman: The Animated Series but I think he'd just find it quaint. After an entire day of nothing but those cartoons, I can say that I'm a wee bit sick of superheroes at the moment. Luckily tomorrow is Linda's day to stay with him, so I get a day's break before Thursday, when I'm sure the foul grip of contagion will still be upon him.

The toy hunt has been temporarily suspended as Monday I was able to score both an Incinerator and a Stockade at Target. Yay for me. I'll post pictures at some time, but both are pretty good toys, even though I ripped Incinerator's one leg off something like nine times while transforming him. I'm sure he was thrilled at that. Now there's nothing left to do but wait until the Classics 2.0 and Animated series lines are released. Not sure when Classics 2.0 is coming out, but the Animated line drops in June. It can't come soon enough. I may still get the First Watch Optimus Prime with his cool ass G1 color scheme, but those are everywhere, so there's no need to hunt.

Finally, I bought Professor Layton and the Curious Village for review purposes, and am loving every minute of it. Even if I didn't have to review it, I would have purchased it so take that for whatever it's worth. As an extra bonus, I get to review a good game. I'll have to make sure my praise isn't too over the top, so glad am I to be able to rate something above a C. Good times. Good times, indeed.

Olympic Fans Rejoice!

My review of Mario and Sonic at the Olympics for the DS is up. I'd make some joke about how it takes the gold, but that would be lame. Besides, my writing garners Bronze at best.

The Plateau

So I was reading the AJC yesterday and they had an article about some local bowling alleys, particularly about one that has a Seniors league. Now, I've been struggling with my bowling of late and I was already feeling bad about my scores until I read the following:

"After three rounds, the group's most determined bowler, Frederick Barton, 67, can be found practicing on the lanes.

He averages about 135, despite a bad eye and prosthetic leg."

Oh yeah. Nothing makes you feel good about your abilities like reading that you regularly get outscored by the 67 year old, half-blind amputee.

Hodge, my coworker and fellow bowler seems to think that I have reached the inevitable plateau that anyone taking up a new sport/activity reaches and that working through the plateau is the only way to get better. I have to agree, the alternative being the grim realization that, like with every other sport I've ever tried, I suck at bowling. Given that I just dropped 70 bucks on a rolling, 2 ball bag, it's not like I'll be quitting any time soon, but it'll go easier if I think that I'm working towards improved scores, rather than just bowling 120's for the rest of my days.

Luckily, it looks like the Development team is tired of my QA team not putting up a challenge week in and week out, and does not feel the competitive spirit burn within their breasts. Honestly, I can't blame them as we pretty much suck. As a result, I think we'll be moving to new teams which will hopefully give some folks who usually have no chance of winning, a chance. Given that my coworkers rely on me for pretty much every aspect of bowling, I'm comfortable wielding my mighty Bowling Commissioner power and dissolving the teams. We'll see how that flies with the rest of the team, but frankly, I'm tired of losing and unless they want to start organizing the trips to the alley, driving, and keeping score they'll agree to it. That is until the QA team gets better and we can put the teams back together and kick their ass. It should only take another few years at the rate I'm going. If you know of any professional bowlers who want a job testing software, send them my way.

Drop It Like It's Yahtz

When we went on vacation this past summer, Linda and I brought Uno while my mom and sister brought Yahtzee and much fun was had by all, particularly me as I was en fuego as the kids would say, sweeping one entire evening of gameplay.

Alas, it would appear that the fuego has been put out.

A couple of weeks back, Linda "suggested" that she and I spend some more times playing games together, rather than me playing with the DS or the PSP when I'm watching tv. The married portion of my audience will understand what the quotes surrounding that word mean. Linda has a long, proud history of completely destroying me at any card game that we play, however given my success at Yahtzee last summer, I figured that maybe board games would work better. Thus, Yahtzee was brought into the home. I also ordered Lost Cities and Mystery Rummy: Jekyll and Hyde from Amazon to bring even more game playing goodness into the home. I realize that both of these games are card based, but as they're not traditional card games, I felt safe ordering them.

That is, until last evening.

I felt particularly good about my chances before sitting down to the table, spreading the dice out before me and starting up the latest episode of the new Terminator show. By the way, I have no idea what happened in that show this past week, but man Summer Glau is fucking hot. Christ.

But I digress. Whatever Yahtzee spirit that guided my hand in May has completely abandoned me as my score sank deeper and deeper into the mire as every throw resulted in a zero. Were it possible to sell my soul for a large straight, I would have. By the third game, things stared coming my way, allowing me to pull a victory out, but by then I had been beaten two games to one and it was getting late. I have determined that Linda's gaming mojo must be hindered when there are others playing with us, however when it's just me to beat up, she can bring the full power of her destructive force to bear on my unsuspecting person.

Despite being beaten, and not only beaten, but nary a Yahtzee was thrown among us, I'm still looking forward to our games arriving and more gaming at home. It is nice to interact with Linda over a game, even if it heralds my crushing defeat and there are certainly plenty of games to choose from. Unfortunately she has no interest in the upcoming Risk: Black Ops, but maybe if I lose enough she'll feel sorry for me and play it with me. Doubtful, but there's always hope. I'm just glad she doesn't bowl. I don't think my ego could handle it.

My Failing Vision

For the past few years, my LASIK'd eyes, more specifically, my right eye, has been getting less and less efficient at referring clear visual information to my brain. In other words, I don't see so good.

I originally thought that it was because the LASIK was wearing off, as it is known to do, however the last time I went to the eye doctor, I was told that I have developed astigmatism in my right eye, a far cry from the nearsightedness that plagued me as a youth. Unfortunately, this morning, when I closed my left eye and looked at my computer screen, I realized I couldn't see for shit out of my right eye. Crap.

Luckily, the place where I got my LASIK done, by the same doctor who did Tiger Woods's eyes no less, gives free touch ups for life, as long as you get regular check ups and don't stick a pencil in your eye. I have successfully done the former and avoided the latter, so hopefully I'll be eligible, however given that my recent blindness is due to a new condition, rather than a reemergence of my past condition, I'm not so sure. Linda said I can get the procedure done even if we have to pay for all of it, but I'm not so sure that's where I want our money to go. We do have bathrooms that need to be redone. Besides, with my glasses on, I feel closer to my people.

Tips for Successful Physical Therapy

Now that I'm halfway through my PT, I have some tips to make similar experiences easier for all of you. I know that it's terribly, terribly generous of me to do such a thing, but really it's no problem. I suffer so that you might learn.

1. Your physical therapist may seem like a nice person, but make no mistake, these people are trained in the art of torture and they have no problem using all of their dark tools on you. After all, it is their job to do so. Oh sure, they'll ask you if you're feeling any pain in the problem area while you're doing the exercises, but that's only so that they might refine their plans to bring pain to all of your other areas. Remember, the point of Physical Therapy is to make other parts of your body scream in pain so that your problem area doesn't feel like as much of a problem.

2. If, after several weeks of PT, your problem area isn't having any more problems, and as a result of this, a little voice is telling you that you don't have to do your daily exercises any more, take this voice by the neck, stuff it in the smallest box you can find, and then toss it in the river. This voice is evil and seeks to only cause you more pain. Not doing your daily exercises will keep your surrounding muscles from being as strong as they need to be for your next session, which means that when your therapist tells you to 400 calf raises while holding seven 40 lb bags of feed, the muscle won't be up for the task and will rip itself out of your body and commit suicide. Then you'll have to explain to your coworkers why you only have one calf muscle.

3. If your PT session is first thing in the morning, you may think that skipping breakfast and your morning coffee will help you save time. This is true, but the resulting loss of energy will cause your leg to shake uncontrollably while performing stretches. This will make the other therapy patients stare at you and be concerned for your safety. Granted, they won't do anything to help as your death may bring them some respite as the therapists fall upon your corpse and devour it, but it's never nice to have Gladys the 74 year old staring at you because your leg is shaking like an epileptic after an episode of Pokemon.

4. When your therapist asks you if you're feeling any pain answering with "Of course I am you devil beast, is that not your foul purpose?!" not only decrease the likelihood that you'll be able to return, damning you to a back alley physical therapist, but it also gives your therapist even more pleasure to see you squirm under their black thumb. Why give them more of your suffering to feast upon?

As you can tell, I've learned a lot in these past few weeks, and I can only imagine the new things I'll learn in the next few. Maybe I'll even learn to walk normally again. At this point, I can only dream.

A Change of Pace

There's a new Mr. Binky today that isn't a top ten. Shocking! I tried to do something new this time, and while it sounded good in my head, and read well when I first wrote it, now I'm not so sure. Oh well, I guess the only way I'm going to get better at these things is to try new things. They can't all be fake interviews and bulleted lists. On the plus side, I had a fun time writing it, even if that fun has now been diminished by the notion that it's probably crap.

Curse my low self esteem.