Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Take That Terrorists

In my ever increasing effort to single handedly prop up this great nation's economy, thereby destroying terrorism at the speed of thought at the very same time, I have made a number of purchases this week that I feel the need to share with you.

First up, is my shiny new toy, the HTC Mogul, courtesy of Sprint. I had grown tired of my Palm of late, what with it's sluggish touch screen, no doubt made slow from the various high speed ground collisions I subjected it to, and it's need to leave the phone portion of the device off even though the dulcet start-up tones led me to believe otherwise. I need a full size keyboard for all of my Gmailing on the go, so those fancy touch screen models wouldn't have worked. The notion of dealing with Windows Mobile somewhat scares me, but I think in the end, I'll be happier. The ability to remote into my machine at work while on the go, combined with the ability to turn the phone into a mobile WiFi access point certainly makes the OS wrangling worth it. Plus, it's a damn pretty phone. I hesitate to call it sexy, as I hate that term for describing inanimate objects, or animate objects that aren't actual humans, but it is certainly attractive, for a phone, and if I were a telecommunications device, like a fax machine, or a CB, I'd certainly want to freak it nasty. Linda ordered it for me on Monday and it arrived before Wednesday barely had a chance to get going, so despite the problems that Sprint as a company is dealing with right now, their shipping department is not one of them. Good for you Sprint shipping department, way to knock it out of the park.

Realizing that terrorism wasn't quite dead ye, I continued to spend, spend, spend, striking a blow for democracy everywhere. The fine people at TopatoCo have a brand new t-shirt for preordering, so I did just that. The first, displays the result of when a chicken and a pig love each other, very, very much. Let's just say, that the results are delicious.

The second t-shirt shows the calamitous result of a gorilla meeting up with a great white shark. It ain't pretty. I bought this shirt partially for myself but mostly to inform the general public as to the destructive powers that would be brought to bear on our fine race if the natural cunning of the gorilla were ever teamed up with the ruthless ferocity of the great white shark. Luckily for us, their mutual hatred of each other ensures that they will never join forces and focus their ire on us, but if they do, God help us all.

Finally, I bought a shirt that lays bare the human condition for all to see, namely that at the end of the day, we're all just made of meat. It doesn't matter how pretty you are, or how much money you have, or how many beautiful people you have sex with, you're just a walking pork chop, with little or no defenses at your disposal should a gorilla or a great white shark want to roll you in Shake-and-Bake and serve you with a side of applesauce. As much as I love this shirt, I will refrain from wearing it to the zoo lest I give the tigers any good ideas. The last time I was there, they looked at me in a manner best described as unnerving.

Unfortunately, not all intended purchases were able to be made today as my attempts to procure the season 1 set of Burn Notice was unsuccessful. If you don't watch this show, you should as it's awesome. Michael Westen is super cool and the show moves at a really good clip. Plus, it has Bruce Campbell in it. Bruce Campbell! If you don't want to pony up 35 bucks for the set, at least rent the dang thing so that you're all caught up for when the second season starts in July.

Phew! I'm tired. Securing capitalism's footholds in an uncaring world is a tough job. I should go take a nap and then maybe write some reviews or something so that I can pay for all of this shit.


Greg said...

This must be tee shirt week. I just bought myself a few on Friday, and Linda got me two for Fathers Day.

My favorite: (pic)

Brandon said...

Dude, that shirt is awesome!