Teh Tagteam

I have been tagged by Monique and while I usually don't engage in such shenanigans, I'm feeling lazy today. I've also been indirectly tagged by Bones, so I'll answer his questions too. Bonus!

First, Monique's...

Three Things That Scare Me
1. Financial ruin
2. Spelunking (thanks to The Descent)
3. My kids growing up to be assholes

Three People Who Make Me Laugh
1. My wife
2. Brian Regan
3. Jim Gaffigan

Three Things I Love
1. My family, but more so, my wife
2. Good barbecue
3. Zelda games

Three Things I Hate
1. Bananas
2. Homophobia
3. Ska music

Three Things I Don't Understand
1. Chemistry. Seriously, I don't understand a goddamn word of it. Covalent bonds my ass!
2. The appeal of baseball. Barry Bonds my ass!
3. Why two loving people who want to be in a committed relationship can tear down the sanctity of marriage simply because they're the same gender but Britney Spears getting married like 19 times does not. Um, my ass!

Three Things On My Desk
1. Pictures of my family
2. Transformers. Lots and lots of Transformers.
3. A Get Fuzzy page a day calendar. Oh that Bucky Katt.

Three Things I'm Doing Right Now
1. Not working.
2. Waiting to go to lunch with Linda.
3. Desperately hoping that Blackout and Ratchet will be at Target.

Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die
1. Skydive
2. Go to Hawaii.
3. See Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band in concert. Not just Bruce, they all have to be there.

Three Things I Can Do
1. Write horribly long run-on sentences.
2. Bore my wife by speaking at length about Transformers.
3. Cook

Three Things I Can't Do
1. The "live long and prosper" Vulcan hand thingy.
2. Cartwheels
3. Eat fish.

Three Things I Think You Should Listen To
1. Super 400
2. Silversun Pickups
3. Me. I am a font of amazing advice and knowledge. Stop slouching!

Three Things You Should Never Listen To
1. People who tell you that you're going to fail simply because they have.
2. The entire George W. Bush administration.
3. Me. Seriously, I don't know my ass from a hole in the ground.

Three Things I'd Like To Learn
1. To speak fluent Spanish.
2. To make an omelet like Stanley Tucci does at the end of "Big Night".
3. How to be so thin, yet live so fat.

Three Favorite Foods
1. Pork (includes ribs, sausage, pulled pork, you get the idea)
2. Egg noodles with butter and breadcrumbs
3. Apple fritters from the country store near where Linda's parents live.

Three Shows I Watched As A Kid
1. Transformers
2. Bionic Six
3. G. I. Joe

Now for Bones's, which is 8 random fact/habits about myself.

1. I did a very small stint as a stand up comic in college. The night I bombed horribly taught me more about performing than the nights I did well.
2. The consistency of bananas freaks me out to the point where I can't even listen to my children eat them.
3. I'm going to steal Bones's one here, because he put it so well. "The English language doesn't contain words that accurately express my excitement for the Transformers movie."
4. I always think I look about 10 pounds heavier than I actually am.
5. I wish I could draw.
6. I wish I had more time to cook more elaborate meals.
7. I always tear up when Superman saves the jet in Superman Returns.
8. I enjoy playing multiplayer games, not because I can get a lot of kills, or score a lot of points, but because I can consistently crack people up in the pre-game lobby.

There you go. I'd tag Greg, but I know he doesn't have the time what with Lia Howley, Baby of Wonder having been born! Congrats Greg and Linda on your beautiful new addition. Congrats to Lia for being born and sorry the planet is so fucked up. Once you're old enough to eat ice cream, you'll find that a good brownie sundae goes a long way towards making it all better.