Devastator and Ravage

I think it's written somewhere, in the Tome of Awesome the hierarchy of awesome things. It goes something like this:

I. Awesome
Robots that come together to form other robots.
II. Way Awesome
Robots that turn into vehicles
III. Super Awesome
Robots that turn into vehicles and form other robots.
Robots that turn into dinosaurs.
Robots that turn into zombies.
IV. Too Awesome For Words
Zombie dinosaur robots that turn into vehicles and form a ginormous zombie dinosaur robot monster truck.

As you can see, this puts Voltron below Transformers, and your garden variety Transformers slightly below Dinobots and Devastator. The next entries are part of what I can only call wishes on my part for a new Transformers line. You can have that one for free Takara. You and Hasbro both.

By the way, at the time of this writing, my wrist is inflamed with Rock. It's a small price to pay to get back into the good graces of the Gods of Rock and I pay it willingly.

So, yeah, Devastator. This Classics version only has 5 robots, as opposed to the original six as he's based on the Cybertron Constructicon Maximus mold. Mixmaster must have left to go DJ for the Beastie Boys or something, because he's MIA. Bonecrusher and Decepticon Scrapper are the same payloader model, just with different paint jobs. Long Haul and Hightower are the same crane thingy, again with different paint jobs. Scavenger is his own model, some kind of backhoe thing. I was disappointed to see this was the case as I was unfamiliar with Constructicon Maximus, but once they all come together to form Devastator, he looks pretty damn cool.

The different paint jobs do make the same models look better, a lot more so that the repaints of Optimus and Starscream they used for Ultra Magnus and Skywarp, so in the end, I don't mind so much. The individual Constructicons all transform pretty easily, except for Scavenger who's vehicle form seems loose and jangly, if that makes any sense at all. They all make for cool, sturdy little robots. As always, scale is a big issue here as in their vechicle forms, they're all smaller than Mirage. Last I checked, construction vehicles are bigger than Formula One racers.

Ravage, as you may remember, is one of Soundwave's micro cassettes. When he's not lounging around in Soundwave's chest, he's a lean, mean, black jaguar. He was recently reinterpreted for the Alternator's line as, get this, a Jaguar XK. Yes, that's right, he's a Jaguar that turns into a jaguar.

Unlike Jazz and Rollbar, the other Alternators I have, Ravage's robot mode is pretty damn cool and pretty damn sturdy. Jazz can't hold his own damn weapon and his hood keeps flying off, even when he's just standing there. Rollbar is sturdier, but in vehicle form he has some seriously bowlegged tires. Not Ravage though. His vehicle mode is badass and his robot form is so cool, I'll probably never transform him back to car mode.

His tail is articulated, as his massive, snake-like jaw and he comes complete with sidemounted rocket launchers that, unlike with his original form, don't have to be manually attached. Out of the box, he's ready to rain destruction down on unsuspecting Autobots. He's so cool that I have him out in my home theater room permanently, keeping watch over us from the top of one of my tower speakers. Right now he's sitting next to Linda, keeping her safe from the beasties on Season one of Supernatural. For an evil, humanity hating robot, he's quite a softie. I apologize for the crappy Ravage pictures, but my hands were seriously shaking from so much rocking out.

They also made an Alternator version of Rumble, he too of Soundwave's micro cassettes and he and Ravage will effectively end the Alternators line. I have no intention of getting Rumble as I found him quite annoying as a child and I'm not particularly fond of Honda Civics. If you choose to add him to your collection, he's a Wal Mart exclusive, as is Ravage and Devastator. That's Wallyworld for us, keeping prices and employee benefits down and the number of super badass Transformers up. Thanks Wal Mart!