Friday, April 14, 2006

Some Random Observations

Ah Friday, when all narrative flow jumps right out the window. There's a rhyme in there, should you want to look for it. I should do these posts on Monday so that I can tell good stories rather than the current strategy which is to just blather on in a fatigue induced fugue. That's a good word, fugue. Let's all say it together, "fugue". Good stuff. Of course, if I switched around the order of things my gaming posts would all be on the order of "Me like games. Games good." The wife would probably enjoy that very much, so perhaps it warrants consideration.

I have some observations for you today. Perhaps you have observed similar things in your lives. Perhaps not and I've observed them for you. If that's the case, then you should stop reading this, get out there and make your own observations. Come back on Monday and we'll share.

In no particular order, here are some things I've been privy to in the past weeks:

* If, at the time you go to bed, you turn off the light in the hallway and barely open your sleeping daughter's door so that you can turn her ceiling fan off, the resulting shift in air pressure will wake her up and she'll spend the night screaming. On the other hand, if, at some point in the evening, she throws up all over herself and her crib, she'll sleep right through it.

* A room that has been an all-night vomitorium smells bad enough to make the heavens weep. A more noxious odor exists in no place other than the blackest pits of hell.

* A baby that has slept in vomit all night is surprisingly receptive to a bath at 6 in the morning.

* If you have recently moved to a time clock situation at work, you will hit every red light on your way to work, ensuring your late arrival. Intersections that went for years without the benefit of illuminated traffic direction will spring traffic lights, like flowers in the springtime, solely to slow you down. Old people in walkers will be out in droves to cross every interesection you come to, impeding your progess lest you run them down and risk being late to work by 15 minutes and 15 - 20 years.

* No matter how much you have come to terms with an unpleasant new work development, when the time comes to actually start implementing said new work development, you will be filled with pools of black rage.

* It is unhealthy to spend 8 hours a day filled with pools of black rage. 5 hours is probably the upper limit in that situation.

* When someone decides to use a conference room for a phone call, they will talk louder when the door is shut, as if they want the rest of the floor to hear their conversation, but they know that they should shut the door because it's the polite thing to do. Either that or they think that closing the door magically turns the room into a soundproof fortress of solitude and they can now yell with abandon and sheer joy at the prospect of being at work. On a similar note, these same people think that using a speakerphone is preferable to picking up a handset, so that the rest of the floor can hear both sides of the conversation.

* We hate the aforementioned people.

* When you are very busy at work, and too tired to post at home, your head is filled with stories. When you have nothing but time on your hands, you make unfunny posts about stupid observations.

* 10 observations is probably enough

Have a good weekend and a happy Sunday holiday. If you're celebrating the resurrection of your Lord and Saviour, good on you. If you're celebrating the exodus of your people, enjoy the matzoh. If you just like candy, try the Reese's Fudge Peanut Butter Eggs. They're to die for.

1 comment:

monique said...

LOL! I love it. I have some observations of my own from this crazy Friday.

Two year olds will also awaken like a horse reacting to a gunshot when a binky gently slides out of the mouth. Mabye I'll try vomit to get him back to sleep next time...