Friday, April 07, 2006

Friday = My Day

Greetings. Welcome to Friday. We hope your stay is a good one.

I'm going to riff on a number of topics today as I don't have a story, as such, to relate. I have a bunch of things that need to be turned into a narrative at some point, but they also involve the uploading of pictures to computers and I really can't be bothered with such things. What I need to do is view these preparations as necessary to ensure that I have fallback plans for when Fridays come and I have nothing to write about. I also need to iron about a dozen articles of very wrinkled clothing, and I don't see that happening either. Given that there is a week in May when the missus and I will be frolicking in Disneyworld, far away from the plaintive wailing of hungry children, I should start preparing entries for that week to be posted in my absence. At the rate I work, they'll be finished in time for us to go to whatever Disney theme park they build once we've colonized Mars.

Speaking of my children, usually I would take this time to write a story about them that starts off with gruff words about their habits but eventually travels to a place where you know that I care about them, besides all of my bluster. That ain't gonna happen as lately they've been annoying the shit out of me. My daughter explodes with rage if food is not readily available upon her return home from a hard day of eating constantly at school. I can guarantee that even if I were to provide her with her own ham to consume during the 10 minute ride home, if dinner were not on the table, her fits of anger would ignite the atmosphere. My son reacts to her actions by yelling "You're fine!" in or very close to her face. I admonish him for this behaviour, but on the inside I cackle with glee. I know that it's just her age, and that it's equal amounts of hunger and frustration in her inability to express what she wants, however when one has had a long day and they're trying to make dinner but they can't hear anything over the deafening cries of the 2 foot tall child sprawled out on the kitchen floor, screaming like a banshee, one loses all sense of context. I guess I should just be glad that she's eating as we've been through the alternative and that was neither fun, nor exciting.

My son, who is 3 going on 17, has learned to express his opinion as to what he does and doesn't want to do. Like any good father, I don't give a shit. Ha! I'm kidding. Not really. I mean, yes, I care what he wants to do for things he has a choice in, however when I'm telling him to put his pants on, and the answer is "I don't want to", my interest in his opinion is dwarfed by my desire to not have to take him to Target bare-assed. I know that there's a school of parenting that says I should acknowledge his wishes and calmly explain something or other, to which I say, "Sure. Fine. Whatever." What I'd like to say is "Don't sass me boy." and then make him go plow the back 40 for his insolence, but instead I usually just tell him to not talk back to me and just do what I'm telling him to do. It is during these moments, that I truly do not understand people who cave whenever their child exhibits such behaviour. It's not like he's being cute and cuddly and with big puppy eyes saying "But I don't wanna put my widdle pants on" which makes your heart melt. No, this is a defiant, foot stomping refusal that instantly makes me want to deny him pretty much anything he could possibly ask for, including the most basic of necessities like food, shelter or Hot Pockets. I guess some people just don't see their kids in bad lights, which is unfortunate, because those kids are assholes now, and they're just going to be even bigger assholes in the future. Unlike my children, who will be broken shells of their former selves, after being crushed under their parents' iron will.

Apparantly I didn't get the memo about not having anything kid-related to talk about.

I purchased the newly released "Operation Mindcrime 2" by Queensryche yesterday, mostly on the basis of good reviews I had read by some fellow gamers. As I do not want to appear like I am trivializing their opinions, all I'm going to say at this point, is that my first listen to the record leads me to believe that they bought entirely different albums than I did. I am tempering this with the notion that I am notoriously hard on follow up albums that do not sound very much like the preceding album, be it an artist's second album, or something like this case, a sequel of sorts. My first listen to the second All American Rejects album left me cold, however subsequent listenings propelled it to the top of my list of favorite recent albums. I'm hoping that repeated listenings to Mindcrime 2 will endear it to me. I will say that the second album is a lot less straightforward in it's narrative. I think this is because the first album was more about people's actions, and this one is more about people's feelings. I will also say that Ronnie James Dio sounds like shit. Just one man's opinion.

Another album that I purchased recently and am enjoying immensely is "Collision Course" the Jay-Z / Linkin Park mash-up album. I have never given Linkin Park much thought, however I'm a huge Jay-Z fan and, for the most part, their music works real well together. The DVD that came with the cd is an interesting look into the recording sessions as well as a very good sounding performance of the mashups. The thing that struck me the most was how comfortable Jay-Z seemed in letting Linkin Park perform some of his stuff. There are a lot of artists out there who's ego would probably keep them from letting someone else take center stage, if only for a moment, but Jay has this look on his face that says he knows he's the best, so let these kids have their fun. The performance also cemented in my mind the positive influence a DJ can have on a rock band, and a live band can have on an MC.

If you want to see how good rap and live music can work together, look no father that Jay-Z Unplugged, where he is backed up by the magnificent Roots. Think to how powerful a band like Audioslave would be with a DJ in their midst. I love me some Tom Morello, but sometimes he plays guitar like a boy who wanted a turntable for Christmas and got a guitar instead. Undaunted, he began to make the latter sound like the former. Bringing in a DJ would let him play more guitar type riffs or, at the very least, allow for some cool ass back and forths between him and the DJ as they compete to see who can make their respective instruments most sound like a cat being pressed through a colander.

I made a kick ass meat loaf last night. I would divulge the recipe, but that would break the unspoken agreement between me and Cooking Light, where I don't publish their copyrighted material and they don't sic the dogs of war on me. After the meal was finished, the whole house smelled like glorious meat loaf. This inspired me to come up with a line of men's candles that smell like manly man things such as meat loaf, barbecued ribs, chili, and fear of commitment. I know that were I single, and I wanted to fill my homestead with a delightful aroma, I wouldn't pick the hyacinth candle, rather I'd pick the scent that made my house smell like delightful hickory. This would also allow the non-cooking men to light a Baked Ham candle, and then go out and purchase said item, thereby giving the impression to the lady that they are trying to impress, that they slaved over a home cooked meal. Nothing impresses a woman more than home cooked ham. We're currently focus testing names for the candles, but my initial idea was Mandles, however it would appear that name was taken by someone with similar ideas. I hope that the market space is big enough for several individuals all hell bent on making a home smell like steak.


Capt Crash 31 said...

I did not like Mindcrime 2 at first either but after a few times I realized its genius. It is VERY theatrical and all of the stuff left open to interpertation will be better expressed live. Also with about 7 albums of softer stuff in between the Mindcrimes I understand that I am not used to them sounding like that anymore.

and don't worry even though I know all there is to know on earth... sometimes I "allow" people I like to disagree with my opinions ;)

suburbanjoe said...

I bow to your greatness Crash! I haven't decided that I disagree yet. I plan on listening to it more when I have some time to focus on it. It is more theatrical, and I was expecting more of the raw sound in Mindcrime. What I should do is listen to them back to back. That usually helps me put second albums in perspective.

redheaded said...

wow, you did have lots to say about a variety of topics! how old are your kids? i was a total fan of operation mindcrime, but have not listened to the second one. i almost don't want to...yet your idea of listening to them back to back might be the ticket...

suburbanjoe said...

Kids are 17 months and 3. And yes, I do have a lot to say. Probably too much. ;) Thanks for stopping by. Please come back.

redheaded said...

i linked your blog, and you look so much like capt. crash, i had to go to that one too! heehee

you don't ever have too much to say, that's what blogs are for! i have lots to say, i just don't say it. so, can you send me a clip off of OMC 2?

suburbanjoe said...

I'm sure we can work something out on the OMC2 front. Tag me with an email at suburbanjoe - at - gmail - dot - com. Thanks for the linkage. I shall return the favor.

redheaded said...


hey, it's finally getting spring time, shouldn't your avatar be planting flowers or something? lol

Bones said...

Mandles? I could go for that, I'll have the Hotwings scented one.

Of all the books I read, all the advice I got, and all the mental preparidness I went through, nothing could even begin to prepare me for the absolute white-hot searing rage I felt the first time I asked my 2 year old pick up something he left on the kitchen floor and he told me "Uh-uh daddy" and then proceeded to throw said item at me. I truly know how Banner felt the first time he Hulked up. Now though, it's an everyday battle we fight with him, if he doesn't want to do something, he will definately let his opinion be known. Luckily for him, we don't love him enough to be fooled by the puppy dog eyes you spoke of, otherwise he might be in trouble.

Booster MPS said...

Another VERY COOL Jay Z video is Fade to Black which is the making of the Black Album mixed with some Madison Square Garden live stuff. It is absolutely masterful to see Jay in the studio with Rick Rubin, Timberland, Pharell etc actually coming up with beats and grooves. They bring the beats, Jay already has lyrics in his head. Watching him record one half of the police/jay call and response verse from 99 Problems off the top of his head from memory is amazing.

suburbanjoe said...

I asked for Fade to Black for Easter. I don't eat candy, so my wife usually gets me a DVD or something for my basket. I loved the studio portions of the Collision Course DVD to see Jay work, so I'll definitely be looking forward to the same on Fade to Black. Thanks for the tip Booster.

Bones, I know exactly what you're talking about. Before having kids, I could never understand how someone could hit their kid. I certainly don't condone it, now that I'm a parent, but I can see how folks get to that point.