Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Back from Vacation

Well here we are, back from vacation. Not that I didn't know this already, but one thing a week off of work really teaches you is how much you hate working. Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying my new job, even if I'm still getting "up to speed" and don't have a tremendous amount of work to do, but last week was fan-fracking-tastic. To give you a glimpse of how I spent my week of no working, I present the traditional beginning of the school year essay...

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

This summer I took a week off of work after I quit my job and before I started my new job. It was nice. I did lots of things. My wife was home with me because she works at home. She was nice too. She ate lunch with me every day. One day we went to the Chinese restaurant for the buffet lunch. We ate a lot. Then we had milkshakes because we had coupons that were going to expire. I know it seems strange to spend 7 dollars on milkshakes because two one dollar coupons were going to expire, but mine had chocolate and peanut butter.

On Monday I watched "Dawn of the Dead". I watched the original, theatrical version. I laughed when they made fun of Johnstown, PA because my dad is from Johnstown and those people would totally spend all of their time shooting zombies. They have a lot of hunters in Johnstown and I bet they'd much rather shoot zombies than deer. They have a lot of fishermen in Johnstown too, but I don't think it would be very easy to kill zombies with a fly fishing rod. I have never tried though, so it might be easy and I just don't know. While I watched the movie, I started putting together my super cool Ultimate Collector's Lego model of the Imperial AT-ST scout walker. It had a lot of pieces and most of them were gray.

On Monday afternoon I played Dead Rising, which, like "Dawn of the Dead" is about a guy in a mall with zombies. For some reason, I'm not as excited about this game now as I was when I first got it. I played for a bunch, forgot to save, got killed and then didn't feel like starting again. Then I shut it off and lost a lot of fake money playing Texas Hold 'Em. Mom says I shouldn't gamble. She's probably right. I'm really bad at it.

Tuesday Linda stayed home too and we did yard work. We raked out the mulch under the swingset and pulled all the weeds. Then we put down landscape fabric. Then I went to the county tax commissioner's office and got my old license plates transferred to my new car. Then I went home and we took the big pile of playground mulch that was on the driveway and put it on the landscape fabric that was under the swingset. It was a big area. We put down 5 cubic yards of mulch. It was a lot of mulch. It was hot and we got really tired. We drank a lot of water but I didn't pee once because I was sweating so much. I had planned on it taking two days but because Linda was helping me, it only took one day. Linda was very helpful.

On Wednesday I watched "An American Werewolf in London" while I continued to put together my lego set. Then I came upstairs and meant to just read the paper but instead started watching "Deep Rising". It had Famke Jannsen in it. She's really hot. The movie was good and was really gory. I also went out and bought the new Pete Yorn cd and went to the pharmacy to pick up Linda's prescription and went to the game store to pick up Star Fox Command for the DS. I probably played more poker too. I think I played Oblivion. I'm not sure. I also cleaned the bathrooms.

Thursday I went to the grocery store to buy things for our friends' visit. Then I cleaned the hardwood floors. Then I watched "Starship Troopers" and kept working on my lego set. It had Denise Richards in it. The movie, not my lego set. She's really hot. The movie was good and was really gory. Then I mowed the lawn in the rain. I didn't mean to mow the lawn in the rain but I was mowing and it started raining and I didn't want to stop mowing because we had friends coming over the weekend and I couldn't mow then. I like mowing the lawn in the rain. It makes me feel like a rebel. Thursday afternoon I played Oblivion and continued working on the Daedric quests. I had to give up Umbra, but I'm really strong now and I have so many magical weapons that if one runs out of a charge, I just use another one to kill things. In the afternoon I watched "US Marshalls" and finished my Lego set. It's really tall, but the head seems out of proportion. I have no room for it in the basement. I should put it on my mantle in my bedroom next to my Batmobile.

Friday Nick, Adrienne and Luke came to visit from Virginia. We all had a good time. It was good to see them. I would like them to move here as it would be nice to have friends that are close by. Plus, Nick and I used to play tennis and now we don't and I'm fat. We all had a lot of fun over the weekend and ate a lot of junk food.

I had a very nice summer vacation. I watched a lot of good movies and played a lot of good games and got to have lunch with my wife every day. I also got to do other things with her in the daytime that I won't talk about here because I don't want to get suspended. If it were up to me, I would never go to work again and I would just watch movies and play games and eat at Chinese buffets every day. Having a job sucks.

The end.


Bones said...

That is one spectacularly fine list of movies you watched there sir. I probably would've substituted something like Shaun of the Dead or Batman Begins for US Marshalls, but that's just me.

suburbanjoe said...

US Marshalls was on HBO, in Hi-Def and I can't resist anything HBO broadcasts in Hi-Def, especially on the new plasma. Rowr! I didn't even plan on watching a movie, I came up to read the paper or something. Next thing I know, not only am I watching US Marshalls, I'm taping US Marshalls to watch later.

On a somewhat related note. For someone who has done as many drugs as he has, Robert Downey Jr. has aged amazingly well. We watched Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang over the weekend and he looked the same as in US Marshalls. I need to start doing drugs.

Booster MPS said...

Now how cool would a lego set that had Denise Richards IN IT!!! yummmmmyyyyy