Well, what do you know, Fiddy came early. Here's my take on the game that I can't stop playing, complete with new, official GameShark.com photo. This picture was taken on Tuesday, which was only a day after the Great Digestive Revolt of '09, which explains why I'm covering half of my face. See, the casual observer thinks that I'm just trying to be cool and show some DS love at the same time, however in reality I'm trying to hide the fact that I looked like shit on toast.
Ah photography, is there nothing you can't do?
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Happy Galactrix Day!
Oh happy day! Puzzle Quest: Galactrix has been unleashed on an unsuspecting universe and our free time will never be the same again!
I would have posted earlier to wish everyone a happy Galactrix Day but first I had to go to two stores to get the game, and then I was playing it.
It's awesome.
It has some problems, namely a herky-jerky animation style when gems are moving off of the board and I see the "Accessing Data" screen a whole hell of a lot more than I would like to, but hot damn if this game doesn't have it's hooks in me but good. I only hope I can reign in the rampant fanboyism before I have to write the official review. One has to be objective, you know.
In other news, I'm enjoying the hell out of the 50 Cent game. What the fuck is this world coming to? My official review will be up Friday, but I'll give you a hint: the grade lies between A and C. You're a smart bunch. I think you can figure it out.
I would have posted earlier to wish everyone a happy Galactrix Day but first I had to go to two stores to get the game, and then I was playing it.
It's awesome.
It has some problems, namely a herky-jerky animation style when gems are moving off of the board and I see the "Accessing Data" screen a whole hell of a lot more than I would like to, but hot damn if this game doesn't have it's hooks in me but good. I only hope I can reign in the rampant fanboyism before I have to write the official review. One has to be objective, you know.
In other news, I'm enjoying the hell out of the 50 Cent game. What the fuck is this world coming to? My official review will be up Friday, but I'll give you a hint: the grade lies between A and C. You're a smart bunch. I think you can figure it out.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Sick
Nothing like starting your week off by having your entire digestive system revolt against everything you've put in it over the past 24 hours.
Mondays suck.
Mondays suck.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Spider-rific
Woo-hoo! A new review! For you!
Ok, enough rhyming. Check it as I make with the bug motions in Deadly Creatures.
Ok, enough rhyming. Check it as I make with the bug motions in Deadly Creatures.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
The Apple of My Ire
We have hit a snag in the CD making process, I'm sad to report. Over the weekend I compiled a list of candidate songs. Given that there were quite a few, including several Pearl Jam songs, all of which have live versions that must be considered, my plan was to make a playlist out of all of the songs and then listen to the playlist while at work. This would allow me to narrow down the list as well as see how the songs all worked off of one another. This was a good idea, key word being "idea", however in practice, things have failed miserably all thanks to my iPod.
I have had a love/hate relationship with my iPod ever since I got it. Linda gave it to me as a Christmas gift, which I love, and it was a 10GB upgrade over the capacity of my Creative player which I also loved. What I hated was the fact that at the time I got it, way back in 2003, connecting an iPod to your computer via USB was a nightmare. If it worked, it barely worked, necessitating an upgrade to Ye Olde Home PC in the form of a Firewire card. Back in 2003, Macs all had Firewire while PC's all had USB. Nowadays, fucking everything has Firewire, but we'll get to that in a minute. So I wasn't too keen on having to buy a new card for the PC, but I did it. I also wasn't keen on using iTunes but I did that too but only for managing my music. For transferring music to my iPod, I use Red Chair Software's excellent Anapod Explorer. For one it integrates into Windows Explorer so that I can drag and drop and second, it allows me to transfer music from any PC I want. Fuck you Apple. It's my iPod and I'll hook it up wherever I damn well please you pretentious, turtleneck wearing fucktards. Oh, and while we're on the subject, two mouse buttons? Not that fucking hard?
Any way. After some time using the iPod, my two biggest grips surfaced. One was that there's no ability to manage your music on the fly. My Creative player allowed you to construct entire playlists on the player as well as, more importantly, delete songs on the fly. Given that I listen to a lot of rap music, and the albums often have stupid skits, being able to delete songs as you come across them is very helpful. The iPods don't let you do this, still to this day. Well, fine. I got over it. The second issue was much larger and not as easy to get over. Basically, the battery in my current iPod is pretty much useless. If I use the player, the battery runs down quickly. If I don't use the player, it runs down quickly. And when I say "runs down", I mean to the point where I can't even get the damn thing to turn on. When it gets like this, it has so little juice that it needs to charge some before it will stay on long enough to realize that it's being charged via the USB connection. What this means is that if I want to load some new songs onto it, but I haven't used it in a while, I have to charge it up some before I can even turn it on to load the damn thing up. As a result, I end up just toting around CD's in my work bag so that I have something to listen to at work.
Now yes, I could just keep reminding myself to charge the thing up, but shoudn't it just work if I haven't been using it? The same thing happens with my PSP and it drives me crazy. If I don't use it, the battery runs out completely. If I don't use my DS, it sits there charged and at the ready until I pick it back up. The end result of all of this is that I never use my iPod because in order to use it, I have to charge it, and I never think to charge it when I'm not using it.
Which brings us to where we are now. Knowing that I was going to use it for my CD test playlist, I charged it up, ripped some new CD's and made my playlist. This was all on a Sunday night. Monday I get to work, turn the iPod up, start the playlist and watch as the iPod skips past every song in the playlist until it gets to the end of the list at which point it kicked me back to the menu. After some messing around with the buttons, I found that if I was really fast in hitting the play/pause button, I could get the song to play, but once the song was over and the iPod moved to the next song in the list, we were back to Skipsville. This happened with the new playlist as well as with an old playlist and today I tried it out with an album and, gee, what do ya know, it happens there too.
So, basically, I can't listen to music on my iPod. Great.
Even though I recently had gotten away from listening to music at work, due to all of the battery issues, I still really enjoy listening to music at work, so I want something to replace the player with, and despite my problems with this player, it looks like Apple has it's hooks into me deep enough to where I'll be buying a 120GB Classic iPod. You still can't delete items on the fly, but the battery, oh the battery, now has a life of over 30 hours. That would be a huge improvement over what I've got now. The ability to watch tv shows and play games is nice too, but honestly, I don't see myself doing that. If I wanted to watch TV shows on a portable device, I have a PSP for that, and I never do it due to the time needed to convert videos. I'm not about to buy TV shows from iTunes when I have a backlog of stuff on DVD I've never watched.
Yes, there are other players I could choose, but the 120GB of storage is real attractive. Yeah, the Zune has a 120GB model, but I really don't want to be tied to Microsoft's software and as Linda mentioned last night, the iPods are going to be around for a while. If I stick with an iPod, I'm covered with my current software setup.
Where I'm not covered is with the fucking accessories, and this is where I get really pissed off. As I mentioned before, back when I got my iPod, it was Firewire or nothing. Yeah, well, guess what? None of the current Classic iPod's work with any of the Firewire accessories because they all do everything over USB now. So that means my dock won't work and my AC adapter won't work. Why in the hell would Apple stop supporting Firewire accessories for the iPod when those very same accessories were the only way to get music on the fucking things when they first came out? I mean, come on. I guess I can take small comfort in the fact that so many PC owners bought the damn things that Apple figured it was easier to just have USB the way to go, but that's probably not the case and it still doesn't change the fact that I may have to replace the accessories. I say "may" as I'm still going to test the new iPod with the old stuff, but I don't have high hopes.
Luckily, the iPod comes with a USB cable, and I can charge it and move music to it with just that cable, which means that I won't have to buy the accessories right away, but it's the principle that bugs me. Plus, as you can tell, Apple just annoys me in general and I hate to think that I'm giving them more money on account of being so unsatisfied with their original product. Oh well. At least I can get the player for 30 bucks less by buying it through Amazon. Gotta take comfort somewhere.
I have had a love/hate relationship with my iPod ever since I got it. Linda gave it to me as a Christmas gift, which I love, and it was a 10GB upgrade over the capacity of my Creative player which I also loved. What I hated was the fact that at the time I got it, way back in 2003, connecting an iPod to your computer via USB was a nightmare. If it worked, it barely worked, necessitating an upgrade to Ye Olde Home PC in the form of a Firewire card. Back in 2003, Macs all had Firewire while PC's all had USB. Nowadays, fucking everything has Firewire, but we'll get to that in a minute. So I wasn't too keen on having to buy a new card for the PC, but I did it. I also wasn't keen on using iTunes but I did that too but only for managing my music. For transferring music to my iPod, I use Red Chair Software's excellent Anapod Explorer. For one it integrates into Windows Explorer so that I can drag and drop and second, it allows me to transfer music from any PC I want. Fuck you Apple. It's my iPod and I'll hook it up wherever I damn well please you pretentious, turtleneck wearing fucktards. Oh, and while we're on the subject, two mouse buttons? Not that fucking hard?
Any way. After some time using the iPod, my two biggest grips surfaced. One was that there's no ability to manage your music on the fly. My Creative player allowed you to construct entire playlists on the player as well as, more importantly, delete songs on the fly. Given that I listen to a lot of rap music, and the albums often have stupid skits, being able to delete songs as you come across them is very helpful. The iPods don't let you do this, still to this day. Well, fine. I got over it. The second issue was much larger and not as easy to get over. Basically, the battery in my current iPod is pretty much useless. If I use the player, the battery runs down quickly. If I don't use the player, it runs down quickly. And when I say "runs down", I mean to the point where I can't even get the damn thing to turn on. When it gets like this, it has so little juice that it needs to charge some before it will stay on long enough to realize that it's being charged via the USB connection. What this means is that if I want to load some new songs onto it, but I haven't used it in a while, I have to charge it up some before I can even turn it on to load the damn thing up. As a result, I end up just toting around CD's in my work bag so that I have something to listen to at work.
Now yes, I could just keep reminding myself to charge the thing up, but shoudn't it just work if I haven't been using it? The same thing happens with my PSP and it drives me crazy. If I don't use it, the battery runs out completely. If I don't use my DS, it sits there charged and at the ready until I pick it back up. The end result of all of this is that I never use my iPod because in order to use it, I have to charge it, and I never think to charge it when I'm not using it.
Which brings us to where we are now. Knowing that I was going to use it for my CD test playlist, I charged it up, ripped some new CD's and made my playlist. This was all on a Sunday night. Monday I get to work, turn the iPod up, start the playlist and watch as the iPod skips past every song in the playlist until it gets to the end of the list at which point it kicked me back to the menu. After some messing around with the buttons, I found that if I was really fast in hitting the play/pause button, I could get the song to play, but once the song was over and the iPod moved to the next song in the list, we were back to Skipsville. This happened with the new playlist as well as with an old playlist and today I tried it out with an album and, gee, what do ya know, it happens there too.
So, basically, I can't listen to music on my iPod. Great.
Even though I recently had gotten away from listening to music at work, due to all of the battery issues, I still really enjoy listening to music at work, so I want something to replace the player with, and despite my problems with this player, it looks like Apple has it's hooks into me deep enough to where I'll be buying a 120GB Classic iPod. You still can't delete items on the fly, but the battery, oh the battery, now has a life of over 30 hours. That would be a huge improvement over what I've got now. The ability to watch tv shows and play games is nice too, but honestly, I don't see myself doing that. If I wanted to watch TV shows on a portable device, I have a PSP for that, and I never do it due to the time needed to convert videos. I'm not about to buy TV shows from iTunes when I have a backlog of stuff on DVD I've never watched.
Yes, there are other players I could choose, but the 120GB of storage is real attractive. Yeah, the Zune has a 120GB model, but I really don't want to be tied to Microsoft's software and as Linda mentioned last night, the iPods are going to be around for a while. If I stick with an iPod, I'm covered with my current software setup.
Where I'm not covered is with the fucking accessories, and this is where I get really pissed off. As I mentioned before, back when I got my iPod, it was Firewire or nothing. Yeah, well, guess what? None of the current Classic iPod's work with any of the Firewire accessories because they all do everything over USB now. So that means my dock won't work and my AC adapter won't work. Why in the hell would Apple stop supporting Firewire accessories for the iPod when those very same accessories were the only way to get music on the fucking things when they first came out? I mean, come on. I guess I can take small comfort in the fact that so many PC owners bought the damn things that Apple figured it was easier to just have USB the way to go, but that's probably not the case and it still doesn't change the fact that I may have to replace the accessories. I say "may" as I'm still going to test the new iPod with the old stuff, but I don't have high hopes.
Luckily, the iPod comes with a USB cable, and I can charge it and move music to it with just that cable, which means that I won't have to buy the accessories right away, but it's the principle that bugs me. Plus, as you can tell, Apple just annoys me in general and I hate to think that I'm giving them more money on account of being so unsatisfied with their original product. Oh well. At least I can get the player for 30 bucks less by buying it through Amazon. Gotta take comfort somewhere.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
The Mixed CD
A couple of weeks ago I told my son that I'd make him a mixed CD and I have been paralyzed with fear ever since.
This is a crucial juncture in his upbringing, when his soft and malleable musical mind can be put on the right course towards blistering, life affirming rock, but what music best charts that righteous course? The mind reels.
Right now he has a radio in his room, which he listens to, but it's tuned into the local Top 40 station. Technically it would be the Top 5 station as they don't play more than a handful of songs. He also has the soundtrack to High School Musical 3, a cd I find painful on a number of levels. He has never shown a real interest in music before, so I've approached his musical development lightly, but now that he's becoming more interested, my hand must be firm, my direction pointed. I can not falter, for his very musical soul depends on it.
Recently I changed how my music was arranged, separating my cd's into music that Linda and the kids would like, and everything else, so that Linda can just grab a disc at random and be safe in the knowledge that she's not about to drop The Marshall Mathers LP on an unsuspecting household. This has allowed for some musical variety to be brought into the household, but even with this, Matchbox 20 still gets plenty of playtime. For the record, I quite enjoy Matchbox 20, however they're not a band you want to build a musical foundation upon.
So where do I start? I don't want to overload the kid with multiple CD's. Better to start off slow and build an interest than bury him in an avalanche of music he can never dig out of. Do I stick to certain bands or stick to kinds of music? Marvelous 3 hasn't been around for over a decade but "Freak of the Week" is a masterful pop-rock song, and leads us to Butch Walker, who, along with making some of the best music out there today, is an absolute blast to see live, especially when he comes to Atlanta.
Surely Pearl Jam needs to be there, but which song? "Worldwide Suicide" encapsulates all of the band's raw power perfectly, but it's not exactly right, content wise, for a six year old. "Wish List" is a beautiful song, but it's not exactly typical for the band. I'm leaning towards, "Corduroy" as it is one of my favorite songs by them, and has one of my favorite lines: "everything has changed, absolutely nothing's changed". Then again, I like the line because it outlines a rather stark viewpoint of one's existence. Should I be saddling him with such negativity? One a PJ song is chosen, do we go with the studio version or a live version? If a live version, which one? Is it better to provide the studio version so that he can appreciate the song, and then hit him with live versions so that he can see how songs continue to grow once released, or give him both barrels of rock right up front?
Jimmy Eat World also needs to be there, but from where in the band's storied history? If you do earlier tracks, will he not appreciate the new stuff? If he hears new material, will he be turned off by the leaner, more raw earlier work?
And what of bands that have yet to prove their long term ability to produce, but still are putting out great music? "The '59 Sound" by Gaslight Anthem is an excellent song off of one of the best albums I've heard in some time, but will the band be there in the months ahead? In this case, is it better to highlight songs that are indicative of the types of music I like, even if the band may not stand the test of time?
You can see why I'm having difficulties here. Now I know that neither he nor I are going anywhere, but I can't help but feel that if I screw up this CD, he'll dismiss my tastes out of hand, and will be lost to me. With so much great music out there, it's important that I get this right. Music has been a part of my life for so long, that I want to make sure I make it a part of his life too. Besides, soon I'll need to start dragging him to concerts so that I'm not the creepy old dude rocking out all by his lonesome and I'd prefer to bring him to a show he'll actually enjoy.
Whatever I end up with, I'll post the final track list here so that you can see the full depths of my musical depravity. Until then, the catalog looms. Time to start climbing.
This is a crucial juncture in his upbringing, when his soft and malleable musical mind can be put on the right course towards blistering, life affirming rock, but what music best charts that righteous course? The mind reels.
Right now he has a radio in his room, which he listens to, but it's tuned into the local Top 40 station. Technically it would be the Top 5 station as they don't play more than a handful of songs. He also has the soundtrack to High School Musical 3, a cd I find painful on a number of levels. He has never shown a real interest in music before, so I've approached his musical development lightly, but now that he's becoming more interested, my hand must be firm, my direction pointed. I can not falter, for his very musical soul depends on it.
Recently I changed how my music was arranged, separating my cd's into music that Linda and the kids would like, and everything else, so that Linda can just grab a disc at random and be safe in the knowledge that she's not about to drop The Marshall Mathers LP on an unsuspecting household. This has allowed for some musical variety to be brought into the household, but even with this, Matchbox 20 still gets plenty of playtime. For the record, I quite enjoy Matchbox 20, however they're not a band you want to build a musical foundation upon.
So where do I start? I don't want to overload the kid with multiple CD's. Better to start off slow and build an interest than bury him in an avalanche of music he can never dig out of. Do I stick to certain bands or stick to kinds of music? Marvelous 3 hasn't been around for over a decade but "Freak of the Week" is a masterful pop-rock song, and leads us to Butch Walker, who, along with making some of the best music out there today, is an absolute blast to see live, especially when he comes to Atlanta.
Surely Pearl Jam needs to be there, but which song? "Worldwide Suicide" encapsulates all of the band's raw power perfectly, but it's not exactly right, content wise, for a six year old. "Wish List" is a beautiful song, but it's not exactly typical for the band. I'm leaning towards, "Corduroy" as it is one of my favorite songs by them, and has one of my favorite lines: "everything has changed, absolutely nothing's changed". Then again, I like the line because it outlines a rather stark viewpoint of one's existence. Should I be saddling him with such negativity? One a PJ song is chosen, do we go with the studio version or a live version? If a live version, which one? Is it better to provide the studio version so that he can appreciate the song, and then hit him with live versions so that he can see how songs continue to grow once released, or give him both barrels of rock right up front?
Jimmy Eat World also needs to be there, but from where in the band's storied history? If you do earlier tracks, will he not appreciate the new stuff? If he hears new material, will he be turned off by the leaner, more raw earlier work?
And what of bands that have yet to prove their long term ability to produce, but still are putting out great music? "The '59 Sound" by Gaslight Anthem is an excellent song off of one of the best albums I've heard in some time, but will the band be there in the months ahead? In this case, is it better to highlight songs that are indicative of the types of music I like, even if the band may not stand the test of time?
You can see why I'm having difficulties here. Now I know that neither he nor I are going anywhere, but I can't help but feel that if I screw up this CD, he'll dismiss my tastes out of hand, and will be lost to me. With so much great music out there, it's important that I get this right. Music has been a part of my life for so long, that I want to make sure I make it a part of his life too. Besides, soon I'll need to start dragging him to concerts so that I'm not the creepy old dude rocking out all by his lonesome and I'd prefer to bring him to a show he'll actually enjoy.
Whatever I end up with, I'll post the final track list here so that you can see the full depths of my musical depravity. Until then, the catalog looms. Time to start climbing.
Friday, February 06, 2009
Wrong, Wrong, Wrong
Yeah, so when I said that there was only one more toy to be on the lookout for, I totally forgot about Ratchet and Hot Shot. Ratchet is a repaint of Ironhide, which was a bit of a letdown, and Hot Shot is one extremely, um, colorful toy, so I'm not entirely sold on each of them. Who am I kidding? I'll probably end up getting both of them, but I feel that I should put up at least a token bit of resistance.
There's more GameShark goodness to tell you about. First up is my super awesome Fallout 3: Operation Anchorage walkthrough. This one was pretty easy to write based on how linear the missions were so I'll gladly take all of that hot guide money and sock it away for a rainy day. The next DLC releases for Fallout 3 don't look to be as linear, so they'll take more time, provided I have an opportunity to write guides for them.
Which brings me to my next piece, the very last Mr. Binky you'll probably ever read. Unfortunately, this recession is hitting everywhere, including GameShark.com and there just isn't the money in the budget for columns. All of the columns save for one very popular boardgaming column were cancelled and while it sucks to not have a column any more, I'm not all that upset. The column didn't always run when it was scheduled to, and the site's crappy design makes it all but impossible to find past columns which all combined to make it pretty hard to build an audience. These things happen. When there are so many people out there losing their jobs and homes, it's silly to lament the loss of 50 bucks a month and an opportunity to make fun of games. My editor tells me that I shouldn't feel bad because even the great Tom Chick had his column canceled, which makes that the only time Tom Chick and I will ever share characteristics other than both of us being oxygen breathing, carbon based life forms.
To all of the people who did go to the site and read my column, thank you from the bottom of my black, withered heart. I appreciate the page hits, the support, and all of the letters to my editor. Mitch, that last one's for you.
Maybe I'll move the column over to Lungfishopolis, maybe for now I'll just take a break from teh funny. We'll see. I think that a small break might be good for me so that I can recharge my batteries. Being a hack is hard work.
There's more GameShark goodness to tell you about. First up is my super awesome Fallout 3: Operation Anchorage walkthrough. This one was pretty easy to write based on how linear the missions were so I'll gladly take all of that hot guide money and sock it away for a rainy day. The next DLC releases for Fallout 3 don't look to be as linear, so they'll take more time, provided I have an opportunity to write guides for them.
Which brings me to my next piece, the very last Mr. Binky you'll probably ever read. Unfortunately, this recession is hitting everywhere, including GameShark.com and there just isn't the money in the budget for columns. All of the columns save for one very popular boardgaming column were cancelled and while it sucks to not have a column any more, I'm not all that upset. The column didn't always run when it was scheduled to, and the site's crappy design makes it all but impossible to find past columns which all combined to make it pretty hard to build an audience. These things happen. When there are so many people out there losing their jobs and homes, it's silly to lament the loss of 50 bucks a month and an opportunity to make fun of games. My editor tells me that I shouldn't feel bad because even the great Tom Chick had his column canceled, which makes that the only time Tom Chick and I will ever share characteristics other than both of us being oxygen breathing, carbon based life forms.
To all of the people who did go to the site and read my column, thank you from the bottom of my black, withered heart. I appreciate the page hits, the support, and all of the letters to my editor. Mitch, that last one's for you.
Maybe I'll move the column over to Lungfishopolis, maybe for now I'll just take a break from teh funny. We'll see. I think that a small break might be good for me so that I can recharge my batteries. Being a hack is hard work.
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
And Then There Was One
Today I found Wreck-Gar and Atomic Lugnut, much to my intense excitement. Given that both the Universe line and the Animated line are coming to an end (hopefully for just the time being), to give stores time to clear shelf space for the movie toys in May, I am almost at an end to my toy hunting for a few months.
I say almost, for a number of reasons. For one, Toy Fair is right around the corner so who knows what kinds of announcements it will bring to fill the void between now and May. Second, the new wave of Marvel Crossover toys are out there somewhere and while I won't devote special trips just for finding them, I will take strolls through the toy aisle when I find myself in a Walmart. Finally, the Target exclusive Shockwave repaint has yet to be released and I must have that toy so that I can have both a G1 reminiscent purple Shockwave transformed in robot mode and the original Shockwave toy transformed into the Longarm robot mode. I'll pretend that instead of Longarm being Shockwave's treacherous spy mode, instead he was somehow separated from Shockwave and now is a loyal Autobot. I can't abide no spies in my house.
Now, that's not to say that I have all of the toys in hand needed to be considered complete, but they are either in hand, or on order. Leo Prime and Overload should ship any day now and Samurai Prowl and Waspinator will ship at the beginning of March. Then I'll be complete. Well, maybe.
Honestly, the holiday toy hunt was such a pain in the ass, I'm glad to have a bit of a break, as are my friends and family, no doubt. Both Linda and Hodge were enlisted to purchase toys for me and they performed admirably with Linda even using a supplied coupon. How awesome is she? I took care of all of the others, either through online ordering, or by driving up and down GA 400, visiting Targets, Walmarts and Toys 'R Us's until I was seeing retail outlets in my sleep.
Space has also become a consideration as I have run out of room in my office, necessitating a move to a larger space in the basement. Unfortunately a pool table currently occupies the new space, so I'll have to take it down, store it, move all of the furniture from the office into that room and then put up copious amounts of shelving. Mind you, this is all after we finish the garden are, put stones down under the deck, finish removing the demolished wall in the basement bathroom and repair the ginormous holes in the bathroom left over from the removal of the aforementioned wall. As you can see, moving toys is not real high on the to-do list, so having three months before lots of new toys come in will do wonders. Not to mention that the fucking things are now even more expensive than before. Stupid economy.
Yes, for now, I'm happy to take a break from hunting. Now I just need something to do at lunch time. What's that you say? Puzzle Quest: Galactrix comes out at the end of this month? Why yes. I think that will do. That will do quite nicely.
I say almost, for a number of reasons. For one, Toy Fair is right around the corner so who knows what kinds of announcements it will bring to fill the void between now and May. Second, the new wave of Marvel Crossover toys are out there somewhere and while I won't devote special trips just for finding them, I will take strolls through the toy aisle when I find myself in a Walmart. Finally, the Target exclusive Shockwave repaint has yet to be released and I must have that toy so that I can have both a G1 reminiscent purple Shockwave transformed in robot mode and the original Shockwave toy transformed into the Longarm robot mode. I'll pretend that instead of Longarm being Shockwave's treacherous spy mode, instead he was somehow separated from Shockwave and now is a loyal Autobot. I can't abide no spies in my house.
Now, that's not to say that I have all of the toys in hand needed to be considered complete, but they are either in hand, or on order. Leo Prime and Overload should ship any day now and Samurai Prowl and Waspinator will ship at the beginning of March. Then I'll be complete. Well, maybe.
Honestly, the holiday toy hunt was such a pain in the ass, I'm glad to have a bit of a break, as are my friends and family, no doubt. Both Linda and Hodge were enlisted to purchase toys for me and they performed admirably with Linda even using a supplied coupon. How awesome is she? I took care of all of the others, either through online ordering, or by driving up and down GA 400, visiting Targets, Walmarts and Toys 'R Us's until I was seeing retail outlets in my sleep.
Space has also become a consideration as I have run out of room in my office, necessitating a move to a larger space in the basement. Unfortunately a pool table currently occupies the new space, so I'll have to take it down, store it, move all of the furniture from the office into that room and then put up copious amounts of shelving. Mind you, this is all after we finish the garden are, put stones down under the deck, finish removing the demolished wall in the basement bathroom and repair the ginormous holes in the bathroom left over from the removal of the aforementioned wall. As you can see, moving toys is not real high on the to-do list, so having three months before lots of new toys come in will do wonders. Not to mention that the fucking things are now even more expensive than before. Stupid economy.
Yes, for now, I'm happy to take a break from hunting. Now I just need something to do at lunch time. What's that you say? Puzzle Quest: Galactrix comes out at the end of this month? Why yes. I think that will do. That will do quite nicely.
Monday, February 02, 2009
The Bacon Explosion
So I'm working at home last week and my co-worker David sends me an email with a link to a story at the NY Times, and the line "How about you make one of these the next time you smoke up some meat loaf" or something to that effect. Everyone in development knows that I love to rock the smoked meat loaf, and many of them have benefited directly from that love as I always bring in some tasty slices for my coworkers.
The story that David sent me about a glorious dish called The Bacon Explosion. Basically two guys at BBQAddicts.com came up with the dish and then set about spreading the joy of their discovery all throughout the internet. Here's the NY Times story if you're interested and here's the original recipe.
Not being one to shy away from an explosion of pork products, I set about to make one of my very own, choosing to do so on Super Bowl Sunday, the unofficial Day of Gluttony in this fine country. I followed the BBQAddicts recipe, not the amended one on the NY Times, and here, for all to see, is the result of my endeavors.
To make a Bacon Explosion of your own you'll need the following:
2lb thick cut bacon
2lb pork sausage, casings removed
BBQ rub of your choosing
BBQ sauce of your choosing
For the bacon, buy whatever brand you want, but make sure that you get ten slices per one pound package. You'll see why in just a bit. You want an equal amount of bacon outside and inside the explosion and if you have more than 10 slices per pound, you'll have more inside than outside. For the sausage, you can use whatever you want, but I used Jimmy Dean plain sausage. I'm intrigued as how Italian sausage would work with the explosion, but that will have to wait for another time.
On to the cooking!
Step 1
Place five bacon slices side by side, parallel to each other. Then, take five more bacon slices side by side and perpendicular to the original five, weaving them in and out so that you have a bacon pot holder. Make sure that all of the bacon slices are tightly packed against each other. When done, it should look like this:
You'll notice that my weave had some thickness problems. That's because in one of my packages, two of the slices were way too thin to be used. No problem, as I had another whole package to use. Well, I didn't check that package closely enough and all of the slices in that packages had a uniform width for about 3/4 the length of the slice, tapering off into a pig tail of sorts. The tail was way too narrow to use, so I took it off and just used shorted slices.
Step 2
Once you have your weave, sprinkle it with whatever BBQ rub you want. I used Steven Raichlen's Java BBQ rub. Given how much I love coffee, and that this rub has coffee in it, I thought it was appropriate. Plus, it was lying around.
Step 3
Spread the sausage over the weave so that the sausage doesn't go quite to the edge of the weave. Try and make the sausage patty as uniformly thick as possible. Here's how mine looked:
Step 4
Cook up the remaining bacon however you like it, crisp, soggy, burnt, whatever. Once the bacon is done, crumble it on up and sprinkle it on the sausage patty.
Step 5
Drizzle your BBQ sauce of choice over the crumbled bacon and sausage patty. I used a combination of Famous Dave's Devil Spit and some Pecan BBQ sauce we picked up in Texas. Here's how it all looked:
Step 6
Very carefully, roll the sausage up away from you, being sure to pull it away from the weave as you go. Once the sausage is all rolled up, pinch the ends together. It should look like this:
Step 7
Now roll the sausage towards you, this time pressing the weave into the roll. Be sure to keep the bacon slices up against each other. It seems difficult, but it's really quite simple. Once rolled, sprinkle some more rub on the pork log. Here's the finished, rolled product:
Step 8
Cook the damn thing. The recipe calls for cooking the explosion in a 225 degree oven, or a smoker at the same temperature. I used my smoker, with hickory chunks, but as I stopped worrying about temperatures a long time ago when smoking, my smoker started somewhere in the 360 range and eventually got down to about 250. Given that my smoker wasn't at the prescribed temperature, I can't tell you how long it will take to cook, but mine took about an hour and a half. Cook the log until the internal temperature reaches 165. I went to 170 as sometimes ground meat can be dodgy with bacteria and with all of that fat in there, chances are it wouldn't dry out. Here it is cooked:
At this point, you could sauce it some more if you wanted, but of late, I've been digging the taste of just the meat and the smoke, so I chose not to sauce it. I was rewarded for my restraint. The end piece was gloriously juicy with fantastic mix of sweet bacon and flavorful sausage, all wrapped up in a smokey kiss. Here's a shot of the inside, when sliced. Dig that crazy smoke ring.
I had the end piece you see on the right immediately after slicing it, and then another slice later on as a sandwich with a little BBQ sauce. Fantastic! I gave a slice to my son and he wolfed it down like he hadn't eaten all day. That's my boy. Given the artery clogging nature of the Bacon Explosion, I don't see it as something I make frequently, but I certainly will make it again. Hot damn is it good. To thank David for turning me on to the Bacon Explosion, I gave him half of what was left after Ben and I ate a couple of slices. Nothing says thanks like a pound of smoked pork products.
The story that David sent me about a glorious dish called The Bacon Explosion. Basically two guys at BBQAddicts.com came up with the dish and then set about spreading the joy of their discovery all throughout the internet. Here's the NY Times story if you're interested and here's the original recipe.
Not being one to shy away from an explosion of pork products, I set about to make one of my very own, choosing to do so on Super Bowl Sunday, the unofficial Day of Gluttony in this fine country. I followed the BBQAddicts recipe, not the amended one on the NY Times, and here, for all to see, is the result of my endeavors.
To make a Bacon Explosion of your own you'll need the following:
2lb thick cut bacon
2lb pork sausage, casings removed
BBQ rub of your choosing
BBQ sauce of your choosing
For the bacon, buy whatever brand you want, but make sure that you get ten slices per one pound package. You'll see why in just a bit. You want an equal amount of bacon outside and inside the explosion and if you have more than 10 slices per pound, you'll have more inside than outside. For the sausage, you can use whatever you want, but I used Jimmy Dean plain sausage. I'm intrigued as how Italian sausage would work with the explosion, but that will have to wait for another time.
On to the cooking!
Step 1
Place five bacon slices side by side, parallel to each other. Then, take five more bacon slices side by side and perpendicular to the original five, weaving them in and out so that you have a bacon pot holder. Make sure that all of the bacon slices are tightly packed against each other. When done, it should look like this:
You'll notice that my weave had some thickness problems. That's because in one of my packages, two of the slices were way too thin to be used. No problem, as I had another whole package to use. Well, I didn't check that package closely enough and all of the slices in that packages had a uniform width for about 3/4 the length of the slice, tapering off into a pig tail of sorts. The tail was way too narrow to use, so I took it off and just used shorted slices.
Step 2
Once you have your weave, sprinkle it with whatever BBQ rub you want. I used Steven Raichlen's Java BBQ rub. Given how much I love coffee, and that this rub has coffee in it, I thought it was appropriate. Plus, it was lying around.
Step 3
Spread the sausage over the weave so that the sausage doesn't go quite to the edge of the weave. Try and make the sausage patty as uniformly thick as possible. Here's how mine looked:
Step 4
Cook up the remaining bacon however you like it, crisp, soggy, burnt, whatever. Once the bacon is done, crumble it on up and sprinkle it on the sausage patty.
Step 5
Drizzle your BBQ sauce of choice over the crumbled bacon and sausage patty. I used a combination of Famous Dave's Devil Spit and some Pecan BBQ sauce we picked up in Texas. Here's how it all looked:
Step 6
Very carefully, roll the sausage up away from you, being sure to pull it away from the weave as you go. Once the sausage is all rolled up, pinch the ends together. It should look like this:
Step 7
Now roll the sausage towards you, this time pressing the weave into the roll. Be sure to keep the bacon slices up against each other. It seems difficult, but it's really quite simple. Once rolled, sprinkle some more rub on the pork log. Here's the finished, rolled product:
Step 8
Cook the damn thing. The recipe calls for cooking the explosion in a 225 degree oven, or a smoker at the same temperature. I used my smoker, with hickory chunks, but as I stopped worrying about temperatures a long time ago when smoking, my smoker started somewhere in the 360 range and eventually got down to about 250. Given that my smoker wasn't at the prescribed temperature, I can't tell you how long it will take to cook, but mine took about an hour and a half. Cook the log until the internal temperature reaches 165. I went to 170 as sometimes ground meat can be dodgy with bacteria and with all of that fat in there, chances are it wouldn't dry out. Here it is cooked:
At this point, you could sauce it some more if you wanted, but of late, I've been digging the taste of just the meat and the smoke, so I chose not to sauce it. I was rewarded for my restraint. The end piece was gloriously juicy with fantastic mix of sweet bacon and flavorful sausage, all wrapped up in a smokey kiss. Here's a shot of the inside, when sliced. Dig that crazy smoke ring.
I had the end piece you see on the right immediately after slicing it, and then another slice later on as a sandwich with a little BBQ sauce. Fantastic! I gave a slice to my son and he wolfed it down like he hadn't eaten all day. That's my boy. Given the artery clogging nature of the Bacon Explosion, I don't see it as something I make frequently, but I certainly will make it again. Hot damn is it good. To thank David for turning me on to the Bacon Explosion, I gave him half of what was left after Ben and I ate a couple of slices. Nothing says thanks like a pound of smoked pork products.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Caught Up
Haven't written in a while. Things at home are busy/stressful and that takes all of the snark right out of me. I haven't written a lot at GameShark either, but there are a few items there penned by yours truly.
There's a review of Moon that I did recently and there's a piece on 2008's Dubious Achievement Awards. That last one is a little less timely now then when it was originally slated to run, but things don't always work out the way we want them to.
There's a review of Moon that I did recently and there's a piece on 2008's Dubious Achievement Awards. That last one is a little less timely now then when it was originally slated to run, but things don't always work out the way we want them to.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
The End of Daycare
Tomorrow marks a very important day at HyphenRidge, namely the last day of daycare for our brood. While Ben has been out of daycare since he started Kindergarten in August, Abby stops tomorrow as it has been determined that she needs to attend the Special Education pre-school program that the county offers.
I am of two minds about this. The one mind isn't too thrilled that my 4 year old needs to be in a Special Education class, nor do we know what we'll do with her during the summer when school is closed, especially if "normal" daycare isn't an option.
The other, much larger mind, is absolutely thrilled as this represents an additional 900 bucks a month in the bank. Oh sure, I'm also glad that Abby will be getting the help that she needs, as it would appear that this environment will be much better for her in preparing her for Kindergarten, and I certainly won't miss having to drop her off in the morning, but having that extra cash ain't too shabby.
Honestly, daycare was never one of my favorite things. I always found daycare to be annoying, preferable to a single income as it may have been. The thing to keep in mind about daycare is that while individual teachers may care about your kid, the daycare as a whole is only interested in their bottom line and if, at any point, the best interests of your kid and the best interests of their bottom line conflict, well, guess which one will lose. To me that always seemed backwards, no doubt because it was my kids that came out on the losing end, be it something as trivial as a kid with a fever that has to come home only to have the fever mysteriously gone the minute he toddles through the door, to a kid asked to not come back to school because no one is willing to work with her and her unique needs.
I'm sure this all sounds like I wanted the daycare to raise my kids, which isn't the case, however Linda and I have always been at odds with the various places our kids were in due to the fact that their idea of discipline and our idea of discipline were so completely different. Step out of line at our house and things will go poorly for you. That's just a fact and I don't care how cute you are. At daycare, minimizing conflict seemed to be the rule of the day as it worked towards making the place appear cheery and happy for prospective customers. When you have a kid like Abby, there is a lot of conflict, and a firm hand is needed to work through it. You may find a lot of things at daycare, but a firm hand ain't one of them. Obviously, I'm working from my own experience here and your results may vary, but if it's a big "chain" place you're dealing with, I doubt that you'll find things to be much different. I'm not asking the daycare to smack my kid, but perhaps making her sit by herself when she freaks out because she doesn't want to follow directions would be a better idea then letting her go and sit in the Director's office and eat waffle fries from Chik-Fil-A. And no, I am not kidding about this. I mean, come on, I'd drown kittens daily if it meant I got a steady stream of waffle fries and I'm 36. How the hell is a 4 year old supposed to learn proper behaviour in this situation?
So yeah, not having an option for the summer right now sucks, as does the extra burden on Linda to have both kids home a little later in the morning and a little earlier in the afternoon, but if it means that my kid will get the help she needs and I get almost a thousand buck staying in my pocket, where it belongs, I'll take the hassle of figuring out the summer. To daycare I say so long, and thanks for all the waffle fries.
I am of two minds about this. The one mind isn't too thrilled that my 4 year old needs to be in a Special Education class, nor do we know what we'll do with her during the summer when school is closed, especially if "normal" daycare isn't an option.
The other, much larger mind, is absolutely thrilled as this represents an additional 900 bucks a month in the bank. Oh sure, I'm also glad that Abby will be getting the help that she needs, as it would appear that this environment will be much better for her in preparing her for Kindergarten, and I certainly won't miss having to drop her off in the morning, but having that extra cash ain't too shabby.
Honestly, daycare was never one of my favorite things. I always found daycare to be annoying, preferable to a single income as it may have been. The thing to keep in mind about daycare is that while individual teachers may care about your kid, the daycare as a whole is only interested in their bottom line and if, at any point, the best interests of your kid and the best interests of their bottom line conflict, well, guess which one will lose. To me that always seemed backwards, no doubt because it was my kids that came out on the losing end, be it something as trivial as a kid with a fever that has to come home only to have the fever mysteriously gone the minute he toddles through the door, to a kid asked to not come back to school because no one is willing to work with her and her unique needs.
I'm sure this all sounds like I wanted the daycare to raise my kids, which isn't the case, however Linda and I have always been at odds with the various places our kids were in due to the fact that their idea of discipline and our idea of discipline were so completely different. Step out of line at our house and things will go poorly for you. That's just a fact and I don't care how cute you are. At daycare, minimizing conflict seemed to be the rule of the day as it worked towards making the place appear cheery and happy for prospective customers. When you have a kid like Abby, there is a lot of conflict, and a firm hand is needed to work through it. You may find a lot of things at daycare, but a firm hand ain't one of them. Obviously, I'm working from my own experience here and your results may vary, but if it's a big "chain" place you're dealing with, I doubt that you'll find things to be much different. I'm not asking the daycare to smack my kid, but perhaps making her sit by herself when she freaks out because she doesn't want to follow directions would be a better idea then letting her go and sit in the Director's office and eat waffle fries from Chik-Fil-A. And no, I am not kidding about this. I mean, come on, I'd drown kittens daily if it meant I got a steady stream of waffle fries and I'm 36. How the hell is a 4 year old supposed to learn proper behaviour in this situation?
So yeah, not having an option for the summer right now sucks, as does the extra burden on Linda to have both kids home a little later in the morning and a little earlier in the afternoon, but if it means that my kid will get the help she needs and I get almost a thousand buck staying in my pocket, where it belongs, I'll take the hassle of figuring out the summer. To daycare I say so long, and thanks for all the waffle fries.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Tales of a Driveway Gourmand
As you all know, I like to eat. A lot. I'll eat pretty much anything, unless it's fish, because fish are nasty. Seriously. Despite living in water, which is an excellent solvent, fish are filthy creatures, cursed with a lack of limbs because God hated them so. It's totally true. Look it up. Did you know that fish pee and poop in that water, as well as make nasty fish love in there? Also true. Also verifiable in books. I don't care how healthy a salmon is, that thing is a rancid beast, capable of doing nothing more than infecting you with all manner of plagues and pestilence, when it isn't violently thrashing its way upstream to take place in some debased fish orgy.
I do enjoy a good plate of calamari though.
Where was I? Oh right, food. For some unknown reason, those cagey advertisers have started to put samples of food in with my Sunday paper. For some other unknown reason, I am compelled to eat these samples, despite the fact that they are found in puddles of the various forms of lawn based detritus that exist at the base of my driveway. I honestly don't know why I feel the need to eat whatever comes in the newspaper bag as I have never once been compelled to eat the actual newspaper. There must be some primal part of my brain that sees the food just laying there, and feels that eating that food will be the difference between survival and slow, wasting death.
With that in mind, I give you the first in an occasional series of articles I'm calling "Tales of a Driveway Gourmand" in which I review the food found at the base of my driveway, usually attached to a newspaper. I'm sure you're thrilled. A week away from posting and he comes back with a story of eating essentially garbage? Oy vey!
Item #1: Kellogg's™ All-Bran™ Fiber Drink Mix Pink Lemonade
Everyone knows that print is dead and that the only people reading the Sunday paper are old geezers and people like me who really enjoy reading the funnies. Kellogg's also knows this and figures that if old people can be counted on one thing, it's irregularity. I guess that's not a condemnation of old people, more of a comment on our general society as moving to the fast food nation we've become has made us nigh allergic to vegetables. Kellogg's only has your health, and the health of your colon at heart hence the All-Bran Fiber Drink mix, a powder you mix into water to give you a tall, refreshing glass of digestive aid. As drink mixes go, it's OK. It's got a vaguely chemical taste to it that causes you to have to really choke down those last few gulps, however if it's this or spending the weekend on the toilet trying to pass those Angry Whoppers you spent the week eating, I'd say go with this one. Looking at the list of ingredients, I have no idea what the hell is in this stuff that can give you 40% of your daily fiber needs, but I do know that you're not going to want to mistake this for the pink lemonade at your next garden party. Well, not without stocking up on toilet paper first. 2 Magic Driveways out of 5.
Item #2: Fiber One Chewy Bars Oats and Chocolate
Fiber One apparently has access to the same demographic information that Kellogg's has and has also chosen your perusal of Saturday's sports results as a means of injecting more fiber into your lifestyle. In the interest of all honesty, I should point out that I have a huge box of these very same bars in my pantry as we speak. It's a well known fact that as you get older your metabolism slows down, but what people aren't so quick to point out is that your ability to eat nothing but raw meat and then crap out a dumpster lessens as well. Plus, if you're looking to lower your cholesterol, taking in enough fiber is a good way to do it, or so my doctor told me many moons ago when my cholesterol was a wee bit too high. These bars are a good way to eat like crap on the weekend, when I'm forgoing my usual fiber rich cereal, and still maintain some semblance of digestive health. The tagline of the bars is "Cardboard, no. Delicious, yes." and while these bars certainly don't taste like cardboard, they require as much chewing as one would need were they to eat an entire cardboard box. Oats may be lots of things, but "melt in your mouth" smooth ain't one of them. That being said, they're not bad. There's enough chocolate there to make things interesting and they're pretty filling so not only do you get your fiber but you're probably less inclined to go eat something else. In the end, we all win. Well, except for those that have to share a bathroom with you. They certainly lose. 4 Magic Driveways out of 5.
Item #3: MultiGrain Cheerios
Isn't it odd how Cheerios can really stink up a pantry? I mean, have you ever opened up a box of Cheerios and taken a big whiff? Not pleasant. Yet, despite the odor, we give these things to kids like they're the last food on the planet. Supposedly it's because toddlers can pick them up easily and eat them, which could be said for rabbit droppings as well, with the only difference being that the droppings would probably smell better. I stopped eating Cheerios once I became responsible for my own cereal choices and decided that I could cut out the middle step of ladling on four cups of sugar to make the fucking things remotely palatable and just buy the real life equivalent of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs. The fine folks at Cheerios decided to mix things up by throwing in all sorts of multiple grains and the barest hint of sugar. The cereal was OK, but nothing I'd buy for myself. My daughter seems to like them, so I guess they're a big hit with kids who can't take less than half an hour to chew a noodle, but your results may vary. Hey, Cheerios people, perhaps the feeding aversion demographic is an untapped market for you. I can see the slogan now, "It's us or the feeding tube. MultiGrain Cheerios." You can attach your samples to the copies of Highlights delivered to the Gastroenterologist's office. 1.5 Magic Driveways out of 5.
Item #4: Gillette Men's Shampoo
Yeah, I know this isn't a food product, but that didn't stop me from almost eating it. Hey, when it's early and you haven't had your coffee and you're used to having food stuck to your paper, opening the bag up to find shampoo and what looks like pomade is enough to throw anyone for a loop. Personally, I always thought it was silly that women had so many different types of shampoo, but at the same time, my wife does a hell of a lot more to her hair every morning than I do. The fine folks at Gillette, not satisfied to be making Mach 19 razors that you can strap to your back and ride to work once you're done shaving with them, decided that men needed to have multiple shampoo options as well and came up with their own line of products designed to be no better than the hand soap you find in the rest stop bathroom. These kinds of products are wasted on me as I try to keep my hair barely longer than the hair on my face, and if it gets blown dry it's because I walked under a heat register while the furnace was going. I'm on to you Gillette. Save your fancy hair care products for all those Metrosexuals in New York City. Here in horse country, I wash my hair the old fashioned way with mud and pig's blood. The gravel is a wonderful exfoliate. I'll save the shampoo for the next time I'm traveling so that I don't get arrested by Homeland Security for carrying too much soap, but the pomade I threw right out. I'm sure I'll regret that decision should I get warped back to 1959 and have to ask my mom to the spring formal, but that's a risk I'm willing to take. 0 Magic Driveways out of 5.
That's it for now. Tune in next time for when I review the dead squirrel that wasn't a sample, but just happened to get hit by a car and land on my paper. Tangy, with a slight hint of vulcanized rubber.
I do enjoy a good plate of calamari though.
Where was I? Oh right, food. For some unknown reason, those cagey advertisers have started to put samples of food in with my Sunday paper. For some other unknown reason, I am compelled to eat these samples, despite the fact that they are found in puddles of the various forms of lawn based detritus that exist at the base of my driveway. I honestly don't know why I feel the need to eat whatever comes in the newspaper bag as I have never once been compelled to eat the actual newspaper. There must be some primal part of my brain that sees the food just laying there, and feels that eating that food will be the difference between survival and slow, wasting death.
With that in mind, I give you the first in an occasional series of articles I'm calling "Tales of a Driveway Gourmand" in which I review the food found at the base of my driveway, usually attached to a newspaper. I'm sure you're thrilled. A week away from posting and he comes back with a story of eating essentially garbage? Oy vey!
Item #1: Kellogg's™ All-Bran™ Fiber Drink Mix Pink Lemonade
Everyone knows that print is dead and that the only people reading the Sunday paper are old geezers and people like me who really enjoy reading the funnies. Kellogg's also knows this and figures that if old people can be counted on one thing, it's irregularity. I guess that's not a condemnation of old people, more of a comment on our general society as moving to the fast food nation we've become has made us nigh allergic to vegetables. Kellogg's only has your health, and the health of your colon at heart hence the All-Bran Fiber Drink mix, a powder you mix into water to give you a tall, refreshing glass of digestive aid. As drink mixes go, it's OK. It's got a vaguely chemical taste to it that causes you to have to really choke down those last few gulps, however if it's this or spending the weekend on the toilet trying to pass those Angry Whoppers you spent the week eating, I'd say go with this one. Looking at the list of ingredients, I have no idea what the hell is in this stuff that can give you 40% of your daily fiber needs, but I do know that you're not going to want to mistake this for the pink lemonade at your next garden party. Well, not without stocking up on toilet paper first. 2 Magic Driveways out of 5.
Item #2: Fiber One Chewy Bars Oats and Chocolate
Fiber One apparently has access to the same demographic information that Kellogg's has and has also chosen your perusal of Saturday's sports results as a means of injecting more fiber into your lifestyle. In the interest of all honesty, I should point out that I have a huge box of these very same bars in my pantry as we speak. It's a well known fact that as you get older your metabolism slows down, but what people aren't so quick to point out is that your ability to eat nothing but raw meat and then crap out a dumpster lessens as well. Plus, if you're looking to lower your cholesterol, taking in enough fiber is a good way to do it, or so my doctor told me many moons ago when my cholesterol was a wee bit too high. These bars are a good way to eat like crap on the weekend, when I'm forgoing my usual fiber rich cereal, and still maintain some semblance of digestive health. The tagline of the bars is "Cardboard, no. Delicious, yes." and while these bars certainly don't taste like cardboard, they require as much chewing as one would need were they to eat an entire cardboard box. Oats may be lots of things, but "melt in your mouth" smooth ain't one of them. That being said, they're not bad. There's enough chocolate there to make things interesting and they're pretty filling so not only do you get your fiber but you're probably less inclined to go eat something else. In the end, we all win. Well, except for those that have to share a bathroom with you. They certainly lose. 4 Magic Driveways out of 5.
Item #3: MultiGrain Cheerios
Isn't it odd how Cheerios can really stink up a pantry? I mean, have you ever opened up a box of Cheerios and taken a big whiff? Not pleasant. Yet, despite the odor, we give these things to kids like they're the last food on the planet. Supposedly it's because toddlers can pick them up easily and eat them, which could be said for rabbit droppings as well, with the only difference being that the droppings would probably smell better. I stopped eating Cheerios once I became responsible for my own cereal choices and decided that I could cut out the middle step of ladling on four cups of sugar to make the fucking things remotely palatable and just buy the real life equivalent of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs. The fine folks at Cheerios decided to mix things up by throwing in all sorts of multiple grains and the barest hint of sugar. The cereal was OK, but nothing I'd buy for myself. My daughter seems to like them, so I guess they're a big hit with kids who can't take less than half an hour to chew a noodle, but your results may vary. Hey, Cheerios people, perhaps the feeding aversion demographic is an untapped market for you. I can see the slogan now, "It's us or the feeding tube. MultiGrain Cheerios." You can attach your samples to the copies of Highlights delivered to the Gastroenterologist's office. 1.5 Magic Driveways out of 5.
Item #4: Gillette Men's Shampoo
Yeah, I know this isn't a food product, but that didn't stop me from almost eating it. Hey, when it's early and you haven't had your coffee and you're used to having food stuck to your paper, opening the bag up to find shampoo and what looks like pomade is enough to throw anyone for a loop. Personally, I always thought it was silly that women had so many different types of shampoo, but at the same time, my wife does a hell of a lot more to her hair every morning than I do. The fine folks at Gillette, not satisfied to be making Mach 19 razors that you can strap to your back and ride to work once you're done shaving with them, decided that men needed to have multiple shampoo options as well and came up with their own line of products designed to be no better than the hand soap you find in the rest stop bathroom. These kinds of products are wasted on me as I try to keep my hair barely longer than the hair on my face, and if it gets blown dry it's because I walked under a heat register while the furnace was going. I'm on to you Gillette. Save your fancy hair care products for all those Metrosexuals in New York City. Here in horse country, I wash my hair the old fashioned way with mud and pig's blood. The gravel is a wonderful exfoliate. I'll save the shampoo for the next time I'm traveling so that I don't get arrested by Homeland Security for carrying too much soap, but the pomade I threw right out. I'm sure I'll regret that decision should I get warped back to 1959 and have to ask my mom to the spring formal, but that's a risk I'm willing to take. 0 Magic Driveways out of 5.
That's it for now. Tune in next time for when I review the dead squirrel that wasn't a sample, but just happened to get hit by a car and land on my paper. Tangy, with a slight hint of vulcanized rubber.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
On Mastering Noodles
Yesterday my daughter mastered noodles.
As I'm sure that makes no sense to any one, it means that yesterday, my four year old managed to consistently eat a third of an egg noodle, chewing and swallowing it in under 30 seconds.
We're so proud.
That last part was supposed to be sarcastic.
Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that we're making progress, a happiness that was dimmed right after the aforementioned noodle mastery when she promptly gagged on a corn kernel. That would be one, singular piece of corn.
I guess I'm just bitter. We've been working on this for so long, bouncing from doctor to doctor, trying all sorts of things and all we have to show for it is mastery of eating noodles, which, by the way, will probably promptly fly right out of the window once we start doing it at home. I know that these things take time, but seriously, we're going to be doing this for ever. For. Ever.
At least we have the positive side effect benefit of her bringing older foods back into her repertoire, which is nice. She ate a sandwich on Sunday, and I can't tell you the last time that happened. Still, back to me being bitter, the progress isn't exactly progress as she's eating things that she used to eat. I know that I should be thrilled, but I'm basically tired and grumpy about the whole thing.
You know, the usual.
I'm sure that my mood will lighten once she starts adding more and more things. I know that there will come a day when I can just put a plate of food in front of her and she'll eat it without any drama but that day is so far removed from my ability to imagine it, that it might as well end with me donning my jetpack and flying off to the space monkey farm.
That being said, I'm very much looking forward to that day because hey, space monkeys.
As I'm sure that makes no sense to any one, it means that yesterday, my four year old managed to consistently eat a third of an egg noodle, chewing and swallowing it in under 30 seconds.
We're so proud.
That last part was supposed to be sarcastic.
Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that we're making progress, a happiness that was dimmed right after the aforementioned noodle mastery when she promptly gagged on a corn kernel. That would be one, singular piece of corn.
I guess I'm just bitter. We've been working on this for so long, bouncing from doctor to doctor, trying all sorts of things and all we have to show for it is mastery of eating noodles, which, by the way, will probably promptly fly right out of the window once we start doing it at home. I know that these things take time, but seriously, we're going to be doing this for ever. For. Ever.
At least we have the positive side effect benefit of her bringing older foods back into her repertoire, which is nice. She ate a sandwich on Sunday, and I can't tell you the last time that happened. Still, back to me being bitter, the progress isn't exactly progress as she's eating things that she used to eat. I know that I should be thrilled, but I'm basically tired and grumpy about the whole thing.
You know, the usual.
I'm sure that my mood will lighten once she starts adding more and more things. I know that there will come a day when I can just put a plate of food in front of her and she'll eat it without any drama but that day is so far removed from my ability to imagine it, that it might as well end with me donning my jetpack and flying off to the space monkey farm.
That being said, I'm very much looking forward to that day because hey, space monkeys.
Monday, January 05, 2009
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year fellow Earthlings! For those of you beaming in from Zelbarg, Happy Day of Ultimate Exfoliation! That's a loose translation. The Zelbargians don't have a proper skin, so it's kind of hard to come up with a direct parallel in our Earth Speech. Regardless, those Zelbargians will be getting down with some pretty hot and heavy mitosis tonight, if you know what I mean. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
*Sigh*
Seriously though, I hope that your holiday season was a good one and that you did whatever you wanted to, or got whatever you wanted or generally was pleased with the outcome of whatever holiday shenanigans you take part in. Hopefully that's vague enough to cast a net over all possible positive outcomes from the past two weeks. Bonus if you got laid. Extra bonus if it was with someone that you wanted to get laid with. Get laid on? What the hell is the right preposition for that proposition?
Ok, I'm rambling.
2008 was a pretty good year from me. I lost 20 pounds and kept both of my jobs as well as my spouse. Any one who has spent an appreciable amount of time with me would understand just how much of a chore it can be to persist in my presence, so the fact that both my place of employment and my wife decided to stick with me for another year are big, big wins. GameShark is similarly enthused with my work, despite my pathological need to separate every other word with a comma, and a complete and utter refusal to learn the rules for "it's" and "its". It's not that I don't know the rules. I just feel that rules are for lesser writers.
Other than continued health for all, the only thing I really want out of 2009 is progress towards Abby's laundry list of problems. 2008 was a very frustrating year as we bounced from doctor to doctor, all in the pursuit of getting her to eat and to stop biting other children. I know that these are seemingly at odds with each other, but we're not interested in raising a cannibal here. The end of the year appeared to bring major progress in that it appears that she can't be at a normal daycare center and instead needs to be enrolled in a special education class offered by the county, complete with door to door short bus service. This is good for a number of reasons, namely that we won't have to pay for private daycare any longer and I can make retard jokes with impunity. Tee-hee-hee. We're still not sure what's going on, nor do we have any idea what happens in the summer when schools are closed (her class would be part of the county school system) if "normal" daycare isn't an option, but hopefully we'll learn all of these things soon.
She has been eating more, which is good, especially given that we've been paying out of pocket for the therapy sessions. For the record, Cigna is still the shittiest health insurance company ever, and if you work for Cigna, even as a janitor, I hope your dick falls off. If you're a woman, I hope that you grow a dick and that it then falls off. Abby still hasn't added any new foods to her repertoire, but trust me, her adding old foods back in is significant progress. Maybe by the end of the year, she can chew and swallow half of an egg noodle in under 5 minute's time. This too would be progress. No bullshit.
For all of you, I hope that 2009 is the year that all of your dreams come true, or at least, the shattering of so many dreams that accompany us all as we grimly march towards death is kept to a minimum.
A pony would also work.
*Sigh*
Seriously though, I hope that your holiday season was a good one and that you did whatever you wanted to, or got whatever you wanted or generally was pleased with the outcome of whatever holiday shenanigans you take part in. Hopefully that's vague enough to cast a net over all possible positive outcomes from the past two weeks. Bonus if you got laid. Extra bonus if it was with someone that you wanted to get laid with. Get laid on? What the hell is the right preposition for that proposition?
Ok, I'm rambling.
2008 was a pretty good year from me. I lost 20 pounds and kept both of my jobs as well as my spouse. Any one who has spent an appreciable amount of time with me would understand just how much of a chore it can be to persist in my presence, so the fact that both my place of employment and my wife decided to stick with me for another year are big, big wins. GameShark is similarly enthused with my work, despite my pathological need to separate every other word with a comma, and a complete and utter refusal to learn the rules for "it's" and "its". It's not that I don't know the rules. I just feel that rules are for lesser writers.
Other than continued health for all, the only thing I really want out of 2009 is progress towards Abby's laundry list of problems. 2008 was a very frustrating year as we bounced from doctor to doctor, all in the pursuit of getting her to eat and to stop biting other children. I know that these are seemingly at odds with each other, but we're not interested in raising a cannibal here. The end of the year appeared to bring major progress in that it appears that she can't be at a normal daycare center and instead needs to be enrolled in a special education class offered by the county, complete with door to door short bus service. This is good for a number of reasons, namely that we won't have to pay for private daycare any longer and I can make retard jokes with impunity. Tee-hee-hee. We're still not sure what's going on, nor do we have any idea what happens in the summer when schools are closed (her class would be part of the county school system) if "normal" daycare isn't an option, but hopefully we'll learn all of these things soon.
She has been eating more, which is good, especially given that we've been paying out of pocket for the therapy sessions. For the record, Cigna is still the shittiest health insurance company ever, and if you work for Cigna, even as a janitor, I hope your dick falls off. If you're a woman, I hope that you grow a dick and that it then falls off. Abby still hasn't added any new foods to her repertoire, but trust me, her adding old foods back in is significant progress. Maybe by the end of the year, she can chew and swallow half of an egg noodle in under 5 minute's time. This too would be progress. No bullshit.
For all of you, I hope that 2009 is the year that all of your dreams come true, or at least, the shattering of so many dreams that accompany us all as we grimly march towards death is kept to a minimum.
A pony would also work.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Happy Holidays!
We'll keep this short and to the point.
Merry Christmas, or happy holidays, or "insert appropriate holiday sentiment here".
Oh, and have a happy new year too.
Merry Christmas, or happy holidays, or "insert appropriate holiday sentiment here".
Oh, and have a happy new year too.
Friday, December 19, 2008
On Unwanted Candy and the Consumption Thereof
As it's holiday time, all of the various organizations we do business with have been sending packages of goodies all week long. I've eaten gourmet brownies, scads of truffles and pecan clusters the size of a man's fist.
One box though was not so beloved. This was the box filled with some of the lamest candy I have ever seen. Did you know that the Willy Wonka bar was a real candy bar? It is. It consists of chocolate and graham crackers. Seriously? Graham crackers? There were also Charms. Do you remember Charms? They're like square, hole-less Lifesavers. The package looked to be transported from 1953. Sugar babies were also there, rounding out the candy hall of shame. I remember Sugar Babies, chocolate covered caramel balls for those not familar, as looking and tasting waxy when they weren't getting stuck in your teeth. Not exactly an ideal candy situation.
Most prominently displayed though was the huge Bit O' Honey bar. I haven't seen Bit O' Honey in years, and figured that they just got rid of it on account that no one ate it. I even joked with a coworker about it. However as the week went on, and the candy supply diminished, that poor candy bar, resplendant with a happy bee, kept catching my eye in the break room. "Why won't anyone eat me?" it lamented. I must admit, I felt bad for it. So I ate it.
Here are some things that I've learned about the Bit O' Honey bar. For one, it is less than 2% honey. It says so right on the label, and the taste reflects this accordingly. This thing tastes nothing like honey. Technically, pouring a little honey in a carbeurator would mean that is has a bit 'o honey, and I wouldn't expect it to taste like honey, so I don't know why I was suckered into it this time. I blame the bee.
Second, Bit O' Honey bars are segmented with each segment individually wrapped in what looks like wax paper. The entire bar is also wrapped in some sort of paper. Peeling the paper off of a bar of what is essentially, pure sugar is not an easy, nor pleasurable task. As you progress farther and farther with the bar, and your fingers get sticker and sticker, it becomes even less easy and less pleasurable as now you're battling not only the candy for the paper, but your own fingertips. It is as if your own body has rebelled against you, no doubt because of what you're trying to force into it.
Finally, Bit 'O Honey bars simply aren't very good. They don't taste like honey. They taste like a vaguely chemicalized sugar mixed with some slightly off milk. There are moments where things taste sort of alright, and then it changes. Plus, due to the consistency of the bar, it's impossible to bite a segment in half, meaning that you have to put the whole goddamn thing in your mouth, and chew it to a more workable texture, hoping all the while that you don't a) choke or b) rip your teeth out from their sockets.
Why I would continue to eat such a candy bar when the total unpleasantness of the task became apparent after the first segment is a mystery to most, but not to me. See, simply put, I am powerless to resist bad food. Don't get me wrong, there is plenty of bad food that I'll reject outright. Like liver, for example. That shit is disgusting. However if a food sounds interesting, or sounds so bad that it still has to be tried, I will try it, and, most likely, continue to eat it well past the time when every biological system under my command is blaring angry warnings of protestation. So went the Bit O' Honey experiment. After the first segment, I thought, man, I really shouldn't eat more of this. Then I did, until I had finished the whole thing. Now it sits in my stomach like a lump of malice. Where is my friendly bee now? Stinging my colon apparently.
Maybe some day I'll resist the urge to eat something that I know I should avoid. If I were a cave person, devoid of governmental agencies tasked with identifying poisons in the hopes of preventing their consumption, I would surely be dead by now, long passed from eating a flaming piece of tree bark, or a live wombat. Until such time as I grow an ounce of common sense, I can rest assured that soon the holidays will be over, and people will stop sending us boxes of third rate candy. In the mean time, I think there are still some candy necklaces left.
One box though was not so beloved. This was the box filled with some of the lamest candy I have ever seen. Did you know that the Willy Wonka bar was a real candy bar? It is. It consists of chocolate and graham crackers. Seriously? Graham crackers? There were also Charms. Do you remember Charms? They're like square, hole-less Lifesavers. The package looked to be transported from 1953. Sugar babies were also there, rounding out the candy hall of shame. I remember Sugar Babies, chocolate covered caramel balls for those not familar, as looking and tasting waxy when they weren't getting stuck in your teeth. Not exactly an ideal candy situation.
Most prominently displayed though was the huge Bit O' Honey bar. I haven't seen Bit O' Honey in years, and figured that they just got rid of it on account that no one ate it. I even joked with a coworker about it. However as the week went on, and the candy supply diminished, that poor candy bar, resplendant with a happy bee, kept catching my eye in the break room. "Why won't anyone eat me?" it lamented. I must admit, I felt bad for it. So I ate it.
Here are some things that I've learned about the Bit O' Honey bar. For one, it is less than 2% honey. It says so right on the label, and the taste reflects this accordingly. This thing tastes nothing like honey. Technically, pouring a little honey in a carbeurator would mean that is has a bit 'o honey, and I wouldn't expect it to taste like honey, so I don't know why I was suckered into it this time. I blame the bee.
Second, Bit O' Honey bars are segmented with each segment individually wrapped in what looks like wax paper. The entire bar is also wrapped in some sort of paper. Peeling the paper off of a bar of what is essentially, pure sugar is not an easy, nor pleasurable task. As you progress farther and farther with the bar, and your fingers get sticker and sticker, it becomes even less easy and less pleasurable as now you're battling not only the candy for the paper, but your own fingertips. It is as if your own body has rebelled against you, no doubt because of what you're trying to force into it.
Finally, Bit 'O Honey bars simply aren't very good. They don't taste like honey. They taste like a vaguely chemicalized sugar mixed with some slightly off milk. There are moments where things taste sort of alright, and then it changes. Plus, due to the consistency of the bar, it's impossible to bite a segment in half, meaning that you have to put the whole goddamn thing in your mouth, and chew it to a more workable texture, hoping all the while that you don't a) choke or b) rip your teeth out from their sockets.
Why I would continue to eat such a candy bar when the total unpleasantness of the task became apparent after the first segment is a mystery to most, but not to me. See, simply put, I am powerless to resist bad food. Don't get me wrong, there is plenty of bad food that I'll reject outright. Like liver, for example. That shit is disgusting. However if a food sounds interesting, or sounds so bad that it still has to be tried, I will try it, and, most likely, continue to eat it well past the time when every biological system under my command is blaring angry warnings of protestation. So went the Bit O' Honey experiment. After the first segment, I thought, man, I really shouldn't eat more of this. Then I did, until I had finished the whole thing. Now it sits in my stomach like a lump of malice. Where is my friendly bee now? Stinging my colon apparently.
Maybe some day I'll resist the urge to eat something that I know I should avoid. If I were a cave person, devoid of governmental agencies tasked with identifying poisons in the hopes of preventing their consumption, I would surely be dead by now, long passed from eating a flaming piece of tree bark, or a live wombat. Until such time as I grow an ounce of common sense, I can rest assured that soon the holidays will be over, and people will stop sending us boxes of third rate candy. In the mean time, I think there are still some candy necklaces left.
Prince of Persia: The Fallen King
My take on Prince of Persia: the Fallen King is up. I know, I know, it's like Christmas has come early.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Free and Clear
Today I finished writing my review of Syberia for the DS so I am now done with paid games writing until January. Whee! Nothing to do now but kick back and do what I want to do. Aw yeah.
Small problem with this idea though. I have no idea what I'm going to do.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still playing 360 games, dutifully chipping away at Mercenaries 2 so that I can put that one to bed, but what to do while watching tv? That's the conundrum.
I don't have a lot of magazines at the moment and if I did, reading them tends to put me to sleep.
I do have some graphic novels, having recently picked up the Brian Azzarello Joker book and the next TPB in the Marvel Dark Tower series, but see point A about falling asleep.
I have some Lego sets, but no where to put them once I put them together. In fact, with yesterday's arrival of Shadow Blade Megatron, I'm also out of room for my Transformers. This poses a particularly large problem as I picked up Cyclonus today and have four more toys arriving between now and the end of January.
I could finish playing Chrono Trigger on the DS and while I think this will be fine in the long term, the fact that I just got done playing a bunch of games makes me less than enthusiastic about playing another game, even if it's one that I enjoy. Curse you game reviewing for ruining all of my fun!
I could write, either for my site, or for Lungfishopolis, however I'm somewhat burned out on writing too.
That leaves either sleeping, or actually watching the TV show that we have on. That first one doesn't go over well with the wife, so that leaves paying attention.
Crap.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Small problem with this idea though. I have no idea what I'm going to do.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still playing 360 games, dutifully chipping away at Mercenaries 2 so that I can put that one to bed, but what to do while watching tv? That's the conundrum.
I don't have a lot of magazines at the moment and if I did, reading them tends to put me to sleep.
I do have some graphic novels, having recently picked up the Brian Azzarello Joker book and the next TPB in the Marvel Dark Tower series, but see point A about falling asleep.
I have some Lego sets, but no where to put them once I put them together. In fact, with yesterday's arrival of Shadow Blade Megatron, I'm also out of room for my Transformers. This poses a particularly large problem as I picked up Cyclonus today and have four more toys arriving between now and the end of January.
I could finish playing Chrono Trigger on the DS and while I think this will be fine in the long term, the fact that I just got done playing a bunch of games makes me less than enthusiastic about playing another game, even if it's one that I enjoy. Curse you game reviewing for ruining all of my fun!
I could write, either for my site, or for Lungfishopolis, however I'm somewhat burned out on writing too.
That leaves either sleeping, or actually watching the TV show that we have on. That first one doesn't go over well with the wife, so that leaves paying attention.
Crap.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Monday, December 15, 2008
On Fronting
Last week I bore witness to yet another amazing spectacle of Nerdcore Hip-Hop as I attended a show with not one, not two, but three stellar MC's, including the godfather of Nerdcore himself, MC Frontalot. Along for the ride was MC Lars and YT Cracker.
If raw, house bringing down rap power was the fuel that could run our lives, let's just say that after this show, the world would never need for energy again. It was an amazing powerhouse of raw MC skills and mad nerdcore flow.
I was somewhat familar with MC Lars, and not at all familar with YT Cracker, and man, can these guys lay it down. YT Cracker, along with being an accomplished rapper, is also a l33t hacker, having hacked the NASA front page years ago to bring attention to glaring security holes in various federal web sites. He also may or may not have been a spammer, as indicated in his many songs with his first nerdcore rap group, spamtec. Spamtec is, indeed, the greatest.
MC Lars and YT Cracker recently collaborated on the Original Digital Gangster lp so they did the majority of their sets together. They both have a tremendous amount of energy and really get the crowd into things, lowering the microphones so that everyone can rap along with the choruses. Lars likes to rock the dual projectors for his songs to bring the multimedia aspect to the show which makes for some hilarious visuals to go along with the songs. Both MC's brought their A game and the crowd was eating it up.
Once Lars and YT Cracker were done and various sound issues were worked out, Front took the stage and rocked it as well as he always does. Front's latest album "Final Boss" is a real aural extravaganza, and I was disappointed that he didn't perform more off of it, but while Lars and YT Cracker rap to a mish-mash of a live band and a backing track via iPod, Front rocks only with the live band, making some of his newer stuff harder to do. He still represented nerdcore to the fullest and did many of my favorite tracks from "Secrets From the Future", his last joint. Unfortunately, the sound issues persisted during his set and his microphone was often drowned out by the keyboards, but luckily the guy behind me knew all of the songs, and rapped them all right in my ear. Oh yes, luck was certainly with me.
As great as it was to hear the MC's bring it with full force, the best part of the show, as with previous nerdcore shows, was being able to chat with the rappers beforehand, buy some gear and generally thank them for dropping inconceivably thick rhymes. All three guys were super nice and very cool to hang out with. If I hadn't been there for five hours already, I would have stuck around longer and shot the shit some more, but as it was, it was late, and I was exhausted as well as partially deaf. Between spending time with these guys at this show, spending time with Front at his last show and being able to chat a bit with Jonathan Coulton at his show, I can tell you that these guys are just super great to their fans. I hope that one day their fame matches their levels of fan awesomeness as right now, they are all super, mega, rope-a-dope awesome to their fans.
And now, crappy cell phone pictures!
MC Lars and YT Cracker doing a sound check.
The original digital gangsters.
Lars with Black Lotus on guitar.
24/7 he fronts the most.
The nerdcore rapper in his natural habitat.
If raw, house bringing down rap power was the fuel that could run our lives, let's just say that after this show, the world would never need for energy again. It was an amazing powerhouse of raw MC skills and mad nerdcore flow.
I was somewhat familar with MC Lars, and not at all familar with YT Cracker, and man, can these guys lay it down. YT Cracker, along with being an accomplished rapper, is also a l33t hacker, having hacked the NASA front page years ago to bring attention to glaring security holes in various federal web sites. He also may or may not have been a spammer, as indicated in his many songs with his first nerdcore rap group, spamtec. Spamtec is, indeed, the greatest.
MC Lars and YT Cracker recently collaborated on the Original Digital Gangster lp so they did the majority of their sets together. They both have a tremendous amount of energy and really get the crowd into things, lowering the microphones so that everyone can rap along with the choruses. Lars likes to rock the dual projectors for his songs to bring the multimedia aspect to the show which makes for some hilarious visuals to go along with the songs. Both MC's brought their A game and the crowd was eating it up.
Once Lars and YT Cracker were done and various sound issues were worked out, Front took the stage and rocked it as well as he always does. Front's latest album "Final Boss" is a real aural extravaganza, and I was disappointed that he didn't perform more off of it, but while Lars and YT Cracker rap to a mish-mash of a live band and a backing track via iPod, Front rocks only with the live band, making some of his newer stuff harder to do. He still represented nerdcore to the fullest and did many of my favorite tracks from "Secrets From the Future", his last joint. Unfortunately, the sound issues persisted during his set and his microphone was often drowned out by the keyboards, but luckily the guy behind me knew all of the songs, and rapped them all right in my ear. Oh yes, luck was certainly with me.
As great as it was to hear the MC's bring it with full force, the best part of the show, as with previous nerdcore shows, was being able to chat with the rappers beforehand, buy some gear and generally thank them for dropping inconceivably thick rhymes. All three guys were super nice and very cool to hang out with. If I hadn't been there for five hours already, I would have stuck around longer and shot the shit some more, but as it was, it was late, and I was exhausted as well as partially deaf. Between spending time with these guys at this show, spending time with Front at his last show and being able to chat a bit with Jonathan Coulton at his show, I can tell you that these guys are just super great to their fans. I hope that one day their fame matches their levels of fan awesomeness as right now, they are all super, mega, rope-a-dope awesome to their fans.
And now, crappy cell phone pictures!
MC Lars and YT Cracker doing a sound check.
The original digital gangsters.
Lars with Black Lotus on guitar.
24/7 he fronts the most.
The nerdcore rapper in his natural habitat.Friday, December 12, 2008
Guitar Rock Tour
My review of Guitar Rock Tour is up. It's a Guitar Hero clone, but not a bad one, once you get past the bad covers. They can't all be masters, can they?
Sorry I haven't been around much this week. Been laid up with some medical stuff. Nothing serious, but nothing that lends itself to posting either. I'll be back on the regular schedule next week, which is no schedule at all.
Sorry I haven't been around much this week. Been laid up with some medical stuff. Nothing serious, but nothing that lends itself to posting either. I'll be back on the regular schedule next week, which is no schedule at all.
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