Sorry for the late post. I had planned on posting in the afternoon but then my daughter had to come home from daycare and play all afternoon. Apparantly whatever was ailing her at school dissapated upon getting home. Now I'm a wee bit too tired.
Given that I'm not playing any games, I'm going to take what I would have posted today (it's all written up in my head) and post it on Monday in lieu of a gaming post.
In the meantime, go and see "Superman Returns". It is an amazing piece of work and restores Superman to his rightful place in the superhero movie pantheon. It is abundantly clear that the reason X-Men 3 sucked so badly was because Bryan Singer wasn't working on it. I'm sure I'll talk about it and other media I have consumed lately, probably on Friday.
Have a good weekend and a great 4th, for those of you in our US of A.
Friday, June 30, 2006
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Is That an Expanding Pipe, Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?
Greetings Squaddies! Welcome back.
Today's question comes from Greg Howley, the owner and proprietor of GregHowley.com. Greg has impeccable taste in handheld video game systems and wives' names. He's also a frequent visitor to this site and as such, is better than probably 80 - 85% of the world's population. His question is:
Ha! Kidding. My extensive research of the vast plumbing resources on the web point to two explanations for what you're hearing, however neither help us understand the connection between water temperature and pitch. Now, the connection between water temperature, the thermal expansivity of the pipes and pitch is something we can work with. And so we shall.
Thermal expansion is, in a nutshell, when certain substances expand in size due to an increase in temperature. As the substance is heated, the heat energy is absorbed by the bonds that keep the subtance's molecules together. As these bonds absorb energy, they lengthen, causing an increase in size. Some items, like mercury, expand a whole bunch, while others, like diamond and, ironically enough, water, expand very little. Copper, which your pipes are most likely made of, has a thermal expansion coefficient of 17 (forgive my lack of units) which corresponds to about a 1.12 inch increase in length of a 100 ft pipe when heated by 100 degrees. Now, how this corresponds to a higher pitch depends on what is causing the sound in the first place, which brings me to the two things I found out.
The first, and less common idea, is that the water pressure in your home is too high. When the pressure is high, and the water gets heated, the pipes will heat, expand and raise the pressure even higher. This results in a high pitched wailing, akin to a banshee or a cat trapped in a garbage bag, or a banshee cat trapped in a banshee bag. This can cause bigger problems down the line as high pressure can screw with all of the various gaskets and plumbing seals in the house. It can be fixed for less than 200 bucks by a new pressure valve where the water comes into the house. I speak from experience on this as we had the same high pressure problem, minus the keening, wailing sounds when we bought our current house.
The second answer, and the one I found as being the most common, is that the expansion of the pipes is causing them to rub against their brackets and hence the high pitched, squeaking noise. Pipes are attached to walls, joists and floorboards with brackets, usually metal, which then causes a charming metal on metal squeaking when the pipes expand.
This second cause may be harder to fix, depending on where the squeaky bracket actually is, namely behind a nice, finished, painted wall. Should you be able to find the bracket, you can either use a bigger bracket, or put something around the pipe to act as a buffer between the bracket and the pipe. You can also swap out all of your plumbing with pipes made of diamond, the pipes of choice for the discerning homeowner.
Another option would be to investigate pipes made of a polymer of copper and zirconium tungstate, provided such a polymer is ever invented. Zirconium tungstate shrinks when it gets colder, over a much wider range of temperature than other materials with negative thermal expansion. If a combination of copper and zirconium tungstate were created, in effect the copper's thermal expansion would be cancelled out by the zirconium tungstate's negative thermal expansion. Currently there aren't any plans to make plumbing supplies from zirconium tungstate, however it is being investigated for fillings, so that when you wash down your popsicles with hot coffee, your fillings don't explode and blow your jaw off.
While I'm sure the squealing sound is annoying with copper pipes, it could be worse. Your pipes could be made of mercury which would a) require you to keep your house at a frosty 38 below zero so that the pipes stay solid b) expand all to hell once heated even a slight amount and c) invariably kill you as any water flowing through mercury pipes would melt your nervous system.
Sources:
Wikipedia - Coefficient of Thermal Expansion
Wikipedia - Mercury-in-glass Thermometer
LiveScience.com - Strange Shrinking Material
Today's question comes from Greg Howley, the owner and proprietor of GregHowley.com. Greg has impeccable taste in handheld video game systems and wives' names. He's also a frequent visitor to this site and as such, is better than probably 80 - 85% of the world's population. His question is:
Well Greg, it sounds to me like you have a Class 5 Ectoplasmic Entity, also known as a "Squealer". Most likely, at some point, someone in your family tree did someone wrong and once the victim, perceived or actual, died, he or she set out to torment your family for all of eternity. They found you at your old home, took up home in your pipes and have found you yet again. Your only recourse is to do right by the spirit and lay it to rest.In the house where I grew up, I used to be able to tell when the shower
water got hot by listening - the pitch of the water would change as it heated
up. Recently, I noticed the same thing with our sink - as the water heats up,
the pitch goes up. What is the connection between water temperature and
pitch
Ha! Kidding. My extensive research of the vast plumbing resources on the web point to two explanations for what you're hearing, however neither help us understand the connection between water temperature and pitch. Now, the connection between water temperature, the thermal expansivity of the pipes and pitch is something we can work with. And so we shall.
Thermal expansion is, in a nutshell, when certain substances expand in size due to an increase in temperature. As the substance is heated, the heat energy is absorbed by the bonds that keep the subtance's molecules together. As these bonds absorb energy, they lengthen, causing an increase in size. Some items, like mercury, expand a whole bunch, while others, like diamond and, ironically enough, water, expand very little. Copper, which your pipes are most likely made of, has a thermal expansion coefficient of 17 (forgive my lack of units) which corresponds to about a 1.12 inch increase in length of a 100 ft pipe when heated by 100 degrees. Now, how this corresponds to a higher pitch depends on what is causing the sound in the first place, which brings me to the two things I found out.
The first, and less common idea, is that the water pressure in your home is too high. When the pressure is high, and the water gets heated, the pipes will heat, expand and raise the pressure even higher. This results in a high pitched wailing, akin to a banshee or a cat trapped in a garbage bag, or a banshee cat trapped in a banshee bag. This can cause bigger problems down the line as high pressure can screw with all of the various gaskets and plumbing seals in the house. It can be fixed for less than 200 bucks by a new pressure valve where the water comes into the house. I speak from experience on this as we had the same high pressure problem, minus the keening, wailing sounds when we bought our current house.
The second answer, and the one I found as being the most common, is that the expansion of the pipes is causing them to rub against their brackets and hence the high pitched, squeaking noise. Pipes are attached to walls, joists and floorboards with brackets, usually metal, which then causes a charming metal on metal squeaking when the pipes expand.
This second cause may be harder to fix, depending on where the squeaky bracket actually is, namely behind a nice, finished, painted wall. Should you be able to find the bracket, you can either use a bigger bracket, or put something around the pipe to act as a buffer between the bracket and the pipe. You can also swap out all of your plumbing with pipes made of diamond, the pipes of choice for the discerning homeowner.
Another option would be to investigate pipes made of a polymer of copper and zirconium tungstate, provided such a polymer is ever invented. Zirconium tungstate shrinks when it gets colder, over a much wider range of temperature than other materials with negative thermal expansion. If a combination of copper and zirconium tungstate were created, in effect the copper's thermal expansion would be cancelled out by the zirconium tungstate's negative thermal expansion. Currently there aren't any plans to make plumbing supplies from zirconium tungstate, however it is being investigated for fillings, so that when you wash down your popsicles with hot coffee, your fillings don't explode and blow your jaw off.
While I'm sure the squealing sound is annoying with copper pipes, it could be worse. Your pipes could be made of mercury which would a) require you to keep your house at a frosty 38 below zero so that the pipes stay solid b) expand all to hell once heated even a slight amount and c) invariably kill you as any water flowing through mercury pipes would melt your nervous system.
Sources:
Wikipedia - Coefficient of Thermal Expansion
Wikipedia - Mercury-in-glass Thermometer
LiveScience.com - Strange Shrinking Material
Monday, June 26, 2006
The Big One Oh Oh
Well folks, I told you this post was going to be special, and boy howdy it is. With this post, our little corner of teh intraweb has reached the incredibly special milestone of post number 100.
Yay.
No seriously this is a big deal for me. I used to have a site, and then I stopped and did so without saying goodbye to the people who had read my stuff and supported me. I always felt bad about that, because it was kind of dickish. Granted, with all that was going on at the time, I wasn't the happiest of campers, but that's no excuse to act like a prick. Then, some time later, Andy asked me to contribute to his site, which I did, and had a great time doing. Eventually, though, I yearned for the freedom of my own space, so in May of 2005, I dusted off the SuburbanJoe moniker and started posting anew. And there was much rejoicing.
I remember when I started back up, talking to Linda and asking her if I should tell people that I used to converse with that I was posting anew. She said I should only do that if I was actually going to post. "Of course I'm going to post," I said. "Why would I go through the trouble of starting this up again if I wasn't going to post?" I then went something like 2.5 months without posting. And she says she knows me.
Ironically enough, that non posting "hiatus" was during a time when I was unemployed and spent my days looking for jobs, playing video games, watching movies and doing work around the yard/house. One would think I would have had time to post, and one would have been correct, however for some reason I had no motivation. Swap out "doing work around the yard/house" for "toiling in my crap job" and the former list of daily activities is magically transformed into my current list of daily activities yet now I have the motivation to post.
Actually, it wasn't that I didn't have any motivation, but more that the hiatus represented a fairly stressful time for me/us. Last year was the Year of Many Changes (tm) and as anyone who knows me can attest to, I loathe change, especially big change. We moved to Atlanta in February, complete with house selling hassles, delayed furniture deliveries and worries about child adjustment. Then I had to leave my job due to the move and worried all summer that I wouldn't find a new job which then spawned additional worries. I worried that we wouldn't get approved to adopt Abby because we only had one income. I worried that we'd get approved but then wouldn't get the referral for a long time. I worried that we'd get approved and then get the referral and I still wouldn't have a job so I'd be on the hook to take care of both kids all day, which would then cause me to lose my mind and hurl myself into the pond behind our house.
Then I got a job, with it's relatively shitty commute. Then we got our referral so we headed out to Russia to meet an adorable, yet somewhat medically challenged (superficially anyways) little girl. Then we came home and sat and waited and worried while Russia changed all of their rules and sat on our paperwork and we imagined our daughter getting smaller and smaller and getting a more advanced case of Ricketts that caused her legs to shoot up through her shoulders. Then we went home and came back with a baby that wasn't nearly as easy-going as her brother was.
Then we had the holidays, complete with visits at Thanksgiving and Christmas from Linda's parents. Then Abby didn't seem to know how to eat and we envisioned her never getting any bigger and wondering if her prom limo would have the Latch system for her car seat.
Then the year ended and things managed to return to a state of normalcy. Abby is still crankier than Ben ever was, but lately she seems to be mellowing out a tad. We've even had a few days, although they're far apart, when she's in a good mood all day long. She still doesn't eat a lot, but that's just because she's picky, which is infinitely easier to deal with than her not knowing how to chew a cracker. She's even gotten taller, having grown almost 2 inches in the past 2 months. She may hit 5 feet tall after all.
It's not just a coincidence that the beginning of the year, with it's lack of stress coincided with my ramping up of posting here. Ever since adopting the M-W-F schedule in January, I've been able to stick to having something for y'all to read on a pretty regular basis. In fact, of the 100 posts since last May, something like 66 of them have been since January. That's the beauty of the schedule in action. Not only does it give me something to focus on, when my fatigue addled brain is having difficulties coming up with a new topic, but it makes me post because I know that people are expecting content on certain days of the week. Granted, I still have days where I say "fuck it" and skip posting entirely, but those days are much fewer and farther between than they used to be. Hell, it used to be I'd be all set to post and then see that "SWAT" was on and I'd skip posting to watch it. Again.
So this milestone means a lot to me because a) I set out to do something, I did it and am still having a good time doing it and b) the big worries are a thing of the past. Oh sure, I still have small worries but I inherited from my mother the ability to worry about positively anything so I don't expect all of my worries to magically dissappear without some sort of industrial accident that results in a length of rebar through my skull.
Last year, during the summer of unemployment, and worries were at their worst, when Linda and I would come home from picking up Ben from daycare, we would pass this one church. All summer long, the church had the same saying on the sign out front, "Worry is the thief of joy." Amazingly enough, once I got my job, the sign changed to something else. I wish, at the time, I could have taken the message to heart and really enjoyed the time I had off, rather than let my worries steal my happiness, but hopefully I'll be able to do that in the future, because if I've learned anything from last year, it's that things don't get fixed by worrying. They get fixed by posts about wooden pots. Ha. All kidding aside, I'd like to think I'm the kind of person who can learn things from shitty experiences to make future similar experiences less shitty. We'll see, although if I never have to be unemployed again to see if I learned the lesson, I'm OK with that.
Finally, I'd like to thank all of you for coming by and reading my stuff. While I do most of this for me, I like to think that you all are enjoying my work and as a result, I do some of this for you. I know that with everyone and their mother having their own sites and the various ways one can spend their time during the day, choosing to come here means you feel that you and I have a connection and I value that more than you could ever know. In the immortal words of Jay-Z, "You coulda been anywhere in the world, but you're here with me. I appreciate that."
Please keep coming back. We're just getting started.
Yay.
No seriously this is a big deal for me. I used to have a site, and then I stopped and did so without saying goodbye to the people who had read my stuff and supported me. I always felt bad about that, because it was kind of dickish. Granted, with all that was going on at the time, I wasn't the happiest of campers, but that's no excuse to act like a prick. Then, some time later, Andy asked me to contribute to his site, which I did, and had a great time doing. Eventually, though, I yearned for the freedom of my own space, so in May of 2005, I dusted off the SuburbanJoe moniker and started posting anew. And there was much rejoicing.
I remember when I started back up, talking to Linda and asking her if I should tell people that I used to converse with that I was posting anew. She said I should only do that if I was actually going to post. "Of course I'm going to post," I said. "Why would I go through the trouble of starting this up again if I wasn't going to post?" I then went something like 2.5 months without posting. And she says she knows me.
Ironically enough, that non posting "hiatus" was during a time when I was unemployed and spent my days looking for jobs, playing video games, watching movies and doing work around the yard/house. One would think I would have had time to post, and one would have been correct, however for some reason I had no motivation. Swap out "doing work around the yard/house" for "toiling in my crap job" and the former list of daily activities is magically transformed into my current list of daily activities yet now I have the motivation to post.
Actually, it wasn't that I didn't have any motivation, but more that the hiatus represented a fairly stressful time for me/us. Last year was the Year of Many Changes (tm) and as anyone who knows me can attest to, I loathe change, especially big change. We moved to Atlanta in February, complete with house selling hassles, delayed furniture deliveries and worries about child adjustment. Then I had to leave my job due to the move and worried all summer that I wouldn't find a new job which then spawned additional worries. I worried that we wouldn't get approved to adopt Abby because we only had one income. I worried that we'd get approved but then wouldn't get the referral for a long time. I worried that we'd get approved and then get the referral and I still wouldn't have a job so I'd be on the hook to take care of both kids all day, which would then cause me to lose my mind and hurl myself into the pond behind our house.
Then I got a job, with it's relatively shitty commute. Then we got our referral so we headed out to Russia to meet an adorable, yet somewhat medically challenged (superficially anyways) little girl. Then we came home and sat and waited and worried while Russia changed all of their rules and sat on our paperwork and we imagined our daughter getting smaller and smaller and getting a more advanced case of Ricketts that caused her legs to shoot up through her shoulders. Then we went home and came back with a baby that wasn't nearly as easy-going as her brother was.
Then we had the holidays, complete with visits at Thanksgiving and Christmas from Linda's parents. Then Abby didn't seem to know how to eat and we envisioned her never getting any bigger and wondering if her prom limo would have the Latch system for her car seat.
Then the year ended and things managed to return to a state of normalcy. Abby is still crankier than Ben ever was, but lately she seems to be mellowing out a tad. We've even had a few days, although they're far apart, when she's in a good mood all day long. She still doesn't eat a lot, but that's just because she's picky, which is infinitely easier to deal with than her not knowing how to chew a cracker. She's even gotten taller, having grown almost 2 inches in the past 2 months. She may hit 5 feet tall after all.
It's not just a coincidence that the beginning of the year, with it's lack of stress coincided with my ramping up of posting here. Ever since adopting the M-W-F schedule in January, I've been able to stick to having something for y'all to read on a pretty regular basis. In fact, of the 100 posts since last May, something like 66 of them have been since January. That's the beauty of the schedule in action. Not only does it give me something to focus on, when my fatigue addled brain is having difficulties coming up with a new topic, but it makes me post because I know that people are expecting content on certain days of the week. Granted, I still have days where I say "fuck it" and skip posting entirely, but those days are much fewer and farther between than they used to be. Hell, it used to be I'd be all set to post and then see that "SWAT" was on and I'd skip posting to watch it. Again.
So this milestone means a lot to me because a) I set out to do something, I did it and am still having a good time doing it and b) the big worries are a thing of the past. Oh sure, I still have small worries but I inherited from my mother the ability to worry about positively anything so I don't expect all of my worries to magically dissappear without some sort of industrial accident that results in a length of rebar through my skull.
Last year, during the summer of unemployment, and worries were at their worst, when Linda and I would come home from picking up Ben from daycare, we would pass this one church. All summer long, the church had the same saying on the sign out front, "Worry is the thief of joy." Amazingly enough, once I got my job, the sign changed to something else. I wish, at the time, I could have taken the message to heart and really enjoyed the time I had off, rather than let my worries steal my happiness, but hopefully I'll be able to do that in the future, because if I've learned anything from last year, it's that things don't get fixed by worrying. They get fixed by posts about wooden pots. Ha. All kidding aside, I'd like to think I'm the kind of person who can learn things from shitty experiences to make future similar experiences less shitty. We'll see, although if I never have to be unemployed again to see if I learned the lesson, I'm OK with that.
Finally, I'd like to thank all of you for coming by and reading my stuff. While I do most of this for me, I like to think that you all are enjoying my work and as a result, I do some of this for you. I know that with everyone and their mother having their own sites and the various ways one can spend their time during the day, choosing to come here means you feel that you and I have a connection and I value that more than you could ever know. In the immortal words of Jay-Z, "You coulda been anywhere in the world, but you're here with me. I appreciate that."
Please keep coming back. We're just getting started.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
No Science Post Today Part Deux
I'm not in a very science-y mood today, so I'm thinking I'm just going to skip today's post. My apologies for all of those that were desperately waiting for me to unlock the secrets of the universe.
In the meantime, feel free to use this thread to comment on whatever the hell you want to. It's open season time at SuburbanJoe. Yay. You can also take this time to post some more science questions, as I only have 3 left from Andy's treasure trove of curiosity. What you can do is think back to whatever it is you were hoping I was posting about today before the curtain of dissapointment fell on our little stage. There, that's your question.
At this point, I'm not sure of the status of Friday's post either. On Friday I'm heading to Six Flags over Georgia with these two fine individuals. As Friday's post is a special event here at Chez SubJ, I'm not sure I want to spend it talking about how I threw up after riding Goliath. How special you ask? Oh, only about a 100 times special.
In the meantime, feel free to use this thread to comment on whatever the hell you want to. It's open season time at SuburbanJoe. Yay. You can also take this time to post some more science questions, as I only have 3 left from Andy's treasure trove of curiosity. What you can do is think back to whatever it is you were hoping I was posting about today before the curtain of dissapointment fell on our little stage. There, that's your question.
At this point, I'm not sure of the status of Friday's post either. On Friday I'm heading to Six Flags over Georgia with these two fine individuals. As Friday's post is a special event here at Chez SubJ, I'm not sure I want to spend it talking about how I threw up after riding Goliath. How special you ask? Oh, only about a 100 times special.
Monday, June 19, 2006
Gaming at a Minimum
As the title would suggest, I haven't been doing any real gaming of late. I'm still working through the second season of Deadwood and we've had an onslaught of family visiting, so gaming has been minimal. I have been spending more time with my DS Lite though and I'm still quite happy with my purchase. Holding it like a traditional handheld is much more comfortable than the original DS and the new screens really make the colors pop.
I traded in Brain Age for Big Brain Academy as I recently reached a stopping point in Soduku that left me bewildered, and frankly, not feeling very good about myself. I had originally placed the blame for my failure at the feet of Kevin Smith, as we were watching the movies made from his lecture series, and it's hard to concentrate on filling 3 x 3 grids with numbers when he's telling tales of Mewes fellating various video game appendages. Once we had finished listening to his tales, and we were watching something more mathematically conducive, like Angel, I had high hopes. Still, the proper strategy failed to materialize and this time I placed the blame at the feet of Amy Acker's willowy beauty and David Boreanaz's smoldering manliness. My next, and final attempt, was done at work, in the quiet morning hours of first arrival. According to the disembodied Japanese head that lives in the game, this is when I should have been at my sharpest. Failure was quick, and dismal. It was at this point, that I felt perhaps Soduku is not the game for me.
With Big Brain Academy, you are no longer searching for the fountain of youth for your mind, but instead want to have the largest, most voluminous brain in existence. The metrics in Brain Age, namely your Brain Age, made sense to me, as I would expect that a young person, brimming with vitality and potential would have a more spry, agile noggin than someone in my advanced state of decrepitude. Big Brain Academy, on the other hand, gives you your Brain Weight upon completing a puzzle. A bigger number is better, as apparantly, a highly efficient brain is a heavy brain. I'm not sure I buy this, and more importantly, it reminds me of the Hulk villain, the Leader who's large, distended cranium always freaked me out as a child.
Big Brain Academy also analyzes your performance upon completing a test and, like your bitter vindictive high school guidance teacher who told you that perhaps you should make your living as either a dog catcher or a roustabout, simply because math wasn't "your thing", labels you with an appropriate profession. So far, I should be a Fashion Designer, or a Special Olympiad. OK, so I fibbed on that last one, but that first one is all truth, all the time. As anyone who has ever seen how I dress, I find the notion that I would design clothes for others to be at best absurd, and at worst, criminal. Were I tasked with designing clothes, I would head to the nearest Old Navy, also known as my closet, pick out a variety of garments, remove all tags, and then try to pass them off as my own. I am not above such subterfuge in my quest to live according to Big Brain Academy's wishes. I am striving to reach the lofty heights of FBI Agent, as I look forward to waltzing into J. Edgar Hoover FBI building and demanding a gun and a badge, simply on the merits of my Big Brain Academy test results.
Big Brain Academy is more of a game and less like a learning tool, so I'm not sure how much it would appeal to the older set, however when I was picking up my DS Lite, there was a mother-daughter combo perusing Nintendo's wares, and Mom seemed quite excited to foray into the world of career determining puzzles. As I have never taken the opinions of the old and the infirm into account when picking my latest digital pastime, I'm not about to start now, however I do see the advantage that can be held by Nintendo's leveraging the vast, untapped potential of 0ur nation's retirees and their pension holdings. Better Iwata-san get that money than the casino owner down the road.
I think that Big Brain Academy is more fun than Brain Age, however I do miss the verbal puzzles of Brain Age. Something about reading a passage from Dickens, and imagining my synapses firing and refiring, turning my brain into a superpowered computational machine appealed to me. True, there was nothing preventing me from having both games, other than my own anal system of not owning any more games than can fit in the combination of the DS Lite and the DS Lite case, however I paid 20 bucks for Brain Age, got 9 bucks in credit for it, and played it for something like 20 hours. From a value perspective, its time had come.
I find it odd that I'm not missing gaming on my other platforms any. I love Oblivion and Guitar Hero and would like to see more of the story in God of War, however I'm content to revisit my friends amongst the hoople-heads and memorize pairs of impishly rendered animals. In fact, when I look at the games soon to be available for the various platforms, the DS, has, by far, the most exciting offerings. StarFox, a new Zelda, Cooking Mama and another episode in the classic legal series, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney promises that I'll be spending a fair amount of time with my DS Lite as the months wear on. The fact that I can, while watching an episode of Angel, pilot an Airwing, hurl boomerangs at Peahats, make a tasty chicken dish and defend the defenseless from being ground under Justice's, cold, unfeeling wheels makes me giddy as a schoolgirl. Yes, I have searched my feelings and found them giddy. Giddy and drenched with glee.
I traded in Brain Age for Big Brain Academy as I recently reached a stopping point in Soduku that left me bewildered, and frankly, not feeling very good about myself. I had originally placed the blame for my failure at the feet of Kevin Smith, as we were watching the movies made from his lecture series, and it's hard to concentrate on filling 3 x 3 grids with numbers when he's telling tales of Mewes fellating various video game appendages. Once we had finished listening to his tales, and we were watching something more mathematically conducive, like Angel, I had high hopes. Still, the proper strategy failed to materialize and this time I placed the blame at the feet of Amy Acker's willowy beauty and David Boreanaz's smoldering manliness. My next, and final attempt, was done at work, in the quiet morning hours of first arrival. According to the disembodied Japanese head that lives in the game, this is when I should have been at my sharpest. Failure was quick, and dismal. It was at this point, that I felt perhaps Soduku is not the game for me.
With Big Brain Academy, you are no longer searching for the fountain of youth for your mind, but instead want to have the largest, most voluminous brain in existence. The metrics in Brain Age, namely your Brain Age, made sense to me, as I would expect that a young person, brimming with vitality and potential would have a more spry, agile noggin than someone in my advanced state of decrepitude. Big Brain Academy, on the other hand, gives you your Brain Weight upon completing a puzzle. A bigger number is better, as apparantly, a highly efficient brain is a heavy brain. I'm not sure I buy this, and more importantly, it reminds me of the Hulk villain, the Leader who's large, distended cranium always freaked me out as a child.Big Brain Academy also analyzes your performance upon completing a test and, like your bitter vindictive high school guidance teacher who told you that perhaps you should make your living as either a dog catcher or a roustabout, simply because math wasn't "your thing", labels you with an appropriate profession. So far, I should be a Fashion Designer, or a Special Olympiad. OK, so I fibbed on that last one, but that first one is all truth, all the time. As anyone who has ever seen how I dress, I find the notion that I would design clothes for others to be at best absurd, and at worst, criminal. Were I tasked with designing clothes, I would head to the nearest Old Navy, also known as my closet, pick out a variety of garments, remove all tags, and then try to pass them off as my own. I am not above such subterfuge in my quest to live according to Big Brain Academy's wishes. I am striving to reach the lofty heights of FBI Agent, as I look forward to waltzing into J. Edgar Hoover FBI building and demanding a gun and a badge, simply on the merits of my Big Brain Academy test results.
Big Brain Academy is more of a game and less like a learning tool, so I'm not sure how much it would appeal to the older set, however when I was picking up my DS Lite, there was a mother-daughter combo perusing Nintendo's wares, and Mom seemed quite excited to foray into the world of career determining puzzles. As I have never taken the opinions of the old and the infirm into account when picking my latest digital pastime, I'm not about to start now, however I do see the advantage that can be held by Nintendo's leveraging the vast, untapped potential of 0ur nation's retirees and their pension holdings. Better Iwata-san get that money than the casino owner down the road.
I think that Big Brain Academy is more fun than Brain Age, however I do miss the verbal puzzles of Brain Age. Something about reading a passage from Dickens, and imagining my synapses firing and refiring, turning my brain into a superpowered computational machine appealed to me. True, there was nothing preventing me from having both games, other than my own anal system of not owning any more games than can fit in the combination of the DS Lite and the DS Lite case, however I paid 20 bucks for Brain Age, got 9 bucks in credit for it, and played it for something like 20 hours. From a value perspective, its time had come.
I find it odd that I'm not missing gaming on my other platforms any. I love Oblivion and Guitar Hero and would like to see more of the story in God of War, however I'm content to revisit my friends amongst the hoople-heads and memorize pairs of impishly rendered animals. In fact, when I look at the games soon to be available for the various platforms, the DS, has, by far, the most exciting offerings. StarFox, a new Zelda, Cooking Mama and another episode in the classic legal series, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney promises that I'll be spending a fair amount of time with my DS Lite as the months wear on. The fact that I can, while watching an episode of Angel, pilot an Airwing, hurl boomerangs at Peahats, make a tasty chicken dish and defend the defenseless from being ground under Justice's, cold, unfeeling wheels makes me giddy as a schoolgirl. Yes, I have searched my feelings and found them giddy. Giddy and drenched with glee.
Friday, June 16, 2006
Facts and Figures
Howdy. Sorry for the late post, but it was a busy day.
On June 1st of this year, Linda and I celebrated 10 years of marriage. In October of this year we'll celebrate 15 years together. At the time, I didn't write anything about it due to the fact that we had already celebrated our anniversary by going to Florida a few weeks earlier. Now, usually I'd write something all nice and sweet and tell Linda how much I love her, but instead, I thought I'd put together a list of figures to show the kind of numbers that come about when two people spend this much time together.
Ages when met
Brandon - 19
Linda - 18
Number of universities attended
Brandon - 2
Linda - 2
Number of degrees obtained
Brandon - 2
Linda - 2
Number of miles of separation for first year together
292.9
Number of dates needed to realize neither wanted to be with anyone else
1
Number of places lived in together
8
List of places
Mechanicville, NY
Albany, NY
Clifton Park, NY
Federal Way, WA
Renton, WA
Reston, VA
Ashburn, VA
Alpharetta, GA
Distance in miles from first apartment to current house
6412.21 - or .26 times around the Earth
Number of children obtained
2
Distance in miles traveled to obtain both children
46912 or 1.88 times around the Earth
Dollars spent in obtaining children
Waaaaaaay too many.
Number of Nintendo handhelds purchased
5
Number of times purchase of Nintendo handheld was met with eye rolling
5
Number of Neil Diamond Concerts Attended
1
Number of times purchase of Neil Diamond concert tickets was met with eye rolling
1
Average age of Neil Diamond concert attendees
105
Average weekend waking time when first moved in together
11 AM
Average weekend waking time now
6:30 AM
Number of days bitter about not being able to sleep past 6:30
All of them
Number of items thought of for this list before running out of items
19
Favorite number
19
I'd like to say those last two were on purpose, but they weren't. I'd like to say that me meeting my wife was on purpose, but the fact of the matter was that I didn't even know she was interested in me. She knew she was interested in me, so maybe her getting together with me was on purpose, in which case I say, "Go Linda!" Sometimes things happen that we don't expect and the next thing you know, you're 15 years older, 6400 miles farther and a billion times more in love with the person next to you. Sometimes you just get lucky that way.
Linda, I love you. Happy (belated) anniversary. All I ask is that we stay put for the next 10 years. 64oo miles seems like plenty.
On June 1st of this year, Linda and I celebrated 10 years of marriage. In October of this year we'll celebrate 15 years together. At the time, I didn't write anything about it due to the fact that we had already celebrated our anniversary by going to Florida a few weeks earlier. Now, usually I'd write something all nice and sweet and tell Linda how much I love her, but instead, I thought I'd put together a list of figures to show the kind of numbers that come about when two people spend this much time together.
Ages when met
Brandon - 19
Linda - 18
Number of universities attended
Brandon - 2
Linda - 2
Number of degrees obtained
Brandon - 2
Linda - 2
Number of miles of separation for first year together
292.9
Number of dates needed to realize neither wanted to be with anyone else
1
Number of places lived in together
8
List of places
Mechanicville, NY
Albany, NY
Clifton Park, NY
Federal Way, WA
Renton, WA
Reston, VA
Ashburn, VA
Alpharetta, GA
Distance in miles from first apartment to current house
6412.21 - or .26 times around the Earth
Number of children obtained
2
Distance in miles traveled to obtain both children
46912 or 1.88 times around the Earth
Dollars spent in obtaining children
Waaaaaaay too many.
Number of Nintendo handhelds purchased
5
Number of times purchase of Nintendo handheld was met with eye rolling
5
Number of Neil Diamond Concerts Attended
1
Number of times purchase of Neil Diamond concert tickets was met with eye rolling
1
Average age of Neil Diamond concert attendees
105
Average weekend waking time when first moved in together
11 AM
Average weekend waking time now
6:30 AM
Number of days bitter about not being able to sleep past 6:30
All of them
Number of items thought of for this list before running out of items
19
Favorite number
19
I'd like to say those last two were on purpose, but they weren't. I'd like to say that me meeting my wife was on purpose, but the fact of the matter was that I didn't even know she was interested in me. She knew she was interested in me, so maybe her getting together with me was on purpose, in which case I say, "Go Linda!" Sometimes things happen that we don't expect and the next thing you know, you're 15 years older, 6400 miles farther and a billion times more in love with the person next to you. Sometimes you just get lucky that way.
Linda, I love you. Happy (belated) anniversary. All I ask is that we stay put for the next 10 years. 64oo miles seems like plenty.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Cloud Nine
Greetings Squaddies! Welcome back.
Before we get started, I'd like to address the Comcast High Speed Internet customer support division. I'm going to address this entity as a single person, but know that my comments apply to every fucking useless one of you. Sir, you are the single most spectacularly incompetent and heinously dishonest, loathsome sack of shit I have ever had the misfortune of dealing with. Had your father pulled out early and spilled his seed on a half decomposed pile of dog shit, the resulting mixture would be eons ahead of you in intelligence, compassion and worth as a physical entity. In my short time on this planet, I have been subjected to a number of craptastic customer service experiences, but you, by far, blow them all away, in your complete and utter lack of caring in regards to your customer's experience. Were you in front of me, it would take all of my energy to not cave your fucking head in with whatever blunt instrument was at hand. Now, is it wrong of me to lump all of your workers into one entity upon which to unload my hatred? Probably, however since last week I have dealt with a half dozen of them and not a goddamn one, not one fucking person, has done anything above the bare fucking minimum to resolve the problems I'm having with your service. Service, might I add, I pay almost 50 bucks a month for. I'd threaten to leave, but you don't care, and if I'm going to use my breath to inform you of something, I'd rather inform you of how much better the world would be if your presence were erased completely from it.
Now that we've gotten that out of our way, we can move on with today's question. It comes from my mom, who, as part of her job, traverses this great land of ours with a frequency that would fell your's truly. The last time she was here, she asked me the following (paraphrased due to my horrible memory):
The troposphere is the atmosphere's chief repository of water vapor which explains why pretty much every cloud you see in the sky is hanging out in the troposphere. There are some exceptions to this rule, which we'll talk about in a minute, however if, in the course of your normal day, you see a cloud, most likely, it's in the troposphere. If the troposphere contains all of the atmosphere's water vapor, and clouds consist of water vapor and/or ice crystals, then it makes sense that clouds exist mostly in the troposphere.
So, in answering why clouds exist in the troposphere, we can derive why they do not exist in the stratosphere, namely because there's no water vapor in the stratosphere, or at least a very, very small amount. There are clouds called polar stratospheric clouds that exist in the stratosphere, over the poles during polar winters. As I'm assuming you don't spend a heck of a lot of time at the poles in the winter, you can see why I was pretty confident in saying that pretty much all of the clouds you see exist in the troposphere. These stratospheric clouds consist of mixtures of water vapor, nitric acid and sulfuric acid. It has to be pretty damn cold to cause the acidic components of these clouds to crystallize, allowing the clouds to form, hence the clouds occuring over the poles during polar winters. Those two together make some pretty nippy conditions.
There are also notilucent clouds that exist in the mesosphere, which is above the stratosphere. Folks aren't quite sure how clouds can exist in the mesosphere due to the lack of water, but despite this, the general feeling is that they consist of water ice. How the ice got all the way up there is another question altogether.
The movement of air in the troposphere that we mentioned before is the chief reason your pilot looks to achieve a comfortable cruising altitude of about 10km. All that moving air tends to slam planes around leading to some nasty turbulence and possible vomitous outcomes. This is why, usually, when turbulence occurs during a flight, the pilot will attempt to go a little higher, unless of course, you're already on your way back down. The stratosphere is not subject to all of this moving air, and, as a result, is a fairly calm place to hang out. An interesting note about the stratosphere is that it gets warmer as you get higher up in it, as the outer regions of the stratosphere are warmed by solar radiation and the lower regions are cooled by the higher, cooler regions of the troposphere. The top level of the stratosphere is around -3 Celsius, or 27 degrees Farenheit. Not balmy by any measure, but certainly warmer than I'd expect it to be 50km above the planet's surface.
So, lets put it all together. You take off in your plane and head up through the troposphere, which includes a ton of water vapor, some in cloud form, some falling from the clouds, some just hanging out, and a ton of moving air. This moving air makes for a bumpy flight, so your pilot heads up to the stratosphere where there's no moving air, no water vapor, and subsequently, no clouds. From then on out, it's smooth sailing until you have to descend and do it all in reverse. Soon you're on the ground at your dismal, rainy destination wondering how it's possible that not 30 minutes ago you were sailing through blue skies and sunshine. Science baby, that's how.
As always, we welcome questions at suburbanjoe at gmail dot com or in the comments section of these here posts. Keep 'em comin' folks. We love to hear them.
Sources:
Wikipedia - Clouds
Wikipedia - Earth's Atmosphere
Wikipedia - Troposphere
Wikipedia - Stratosphere
Wikipedia - Polar stratospheric clouds
Wikipedia - Noctilucent Clouds
Before we get started, I'd like to address the Comcast High Speed Internet customer support division. I'm going to address this entity as a single person, but know that my comments apply to every fucking useless one of you. Sir, you are the single most spectacularly incompetent and heinously dishonest, loathsome sack of shit I have ever had the misfortune of dealing with. Had your father pulled out early and spilled his seed on a half decomposed pile of dog shit, the resulting mixture would be eons ahead of you in intelligence, compassion and worth as a physical entity. In my short time on this planet, I have been subjected to a number of craptastic customer service experiences, but you, by far, blow them all away, in your complete and utter lack of caring in regards to your customer's experience. Were you in front of me, it would take all of my energy to not cave your fucking head in with whatever blunt instrument was at hand. Now, is it wrong of me to lump all of your workers into one entity upon which to unload my hatred? Probably, however since last week I have dealt with a half dozen of them and not a goddamn one, not one fucking person, has done anything above the bare fucking minimum to resolve the problems I'm having with your service. Service, might I add, I pay almost 50 bucks a month for. I'd threaten to leave, but you don't care, and if I'm going to use my breath to inform you of something, I'd rather inform you of how much better the world would be if your presence were erased completely from it.
Now that we've gotten that out of our way, we can move on with today's question. It comes from my mom, who, as part of her job, traverses this great land of ours with a frequency that would fell your's truly. The last time she was here, she asked me the following (paraphrased due to my horrible memory):
Why can it be raining when you take off and raining when you land, but not
raining when the plane is at it's cruising altitude?
At the time I saw her, I told her the answer, which is that planes fly above the clouds, so even though it's raining on the ground upon taking off or landing, when the plane is at its cruising altitude, it's above all of that. However my curious mind wasn't satisfied with that answer and I have since probed further to find out why clouds only form at certain altitudes.
In order to talk about this, we have to talk about the levels of the atmosphere we're most interested in, namely the troposphere and the stratosphere. The troposphere is the first "level" of the Earth's atmosphere and it extends from the surface of the planet to about 7km high at the poles and 17km high at the equator. This is the layer of the atmosphere that contains our friends the clouds. It also includes a great deal of moving air, due to the heating of air in the troposphere from surface radiation. Basically, as the sun's rays hit the surface of the planet, the surface heats up. This radiation then heats the air in the troposphere which in turn rises, expands and subsequently drops in temperature. As a result, air in the troposphere is warmer at lower altitudes and colder at higher altitudes.The troposphere is the atmosphere's chief repository of water vapor which explains why pretty much every cloud you see in the sky is hanging out in the troposphere. There are some exceptions to this rule, which we'll talk about in a minute, however if, in the course of your normal day, you see a cloud, most likely, it's in the troposphere. If the troposphere contains all of the atmosphere's water vapor, and clouds consist of water vapor and/or ice crystals, then it makes sense that clouds exist mostly in the troposphere.
So, in answering why clouds exist in the troposphere, we can derive why they do not exist in the stratosphere, namely because there's no water vapor in the stratosphere, or at least a very, very small amount. There are clouds called polar stratospheric clouds that exist in the stratosphere, over the poles during polar winters. As I'm assuming you don't spend a heck of a lot of time at the poles in the winter, you can see why I was pretty confident in saying that pretty much all of the clouds you see exist in the troposphere. These stratospheric clouds consist of mixtures of water vapor, nitric acid and sulfuric acid. It has to be pretty damn cold to cause the acidic components of these clouds to crystallize, allowing the clouds to form, hence the clouds occuring over the poles during polar winters. Those two together make some pretty nippy conditions.
There are also notilucent clouds that exist in the mesosphere, which is above the stratosphere. Folks aren't quite sure how clouds can exist in the mesosphere due to the lack of water, but despite this, the general feeling is that they consist of water ice. How the ice got all the way up there is another question altogether.
The movement of air in the troposphere that we mentioned before is the chief reason your pilot looks to achieve a comfortable cruising altitude of about 10km. All that moving air tends to slam planes around leading to some nasty turbulence and possible vomitous outcomes. This is why, usually, when turbulence occurs during a flight, the pilot will attempt to go a little higher, unless of course, you're already on your way back down. The stratosphere is not subject to all of this moving air, and, as a result, is a fairly calm place to hang out. An interesting note about the stratosphere is that it gets warmer as you get higher up in it, as the outer regions of the stratosphere are warmed by solar radiation and the lower regions are cooled by the higher, cooler regions of the troposphere. The top level of the stratosphere is around -3 Celsius, or 27 degrees Farenheit. Not balmy by any measure, but certainly warmer than I'd expect it to be 50km above the planet's surface.
So, lets put it all together. You take off in your plane and head up through the troposphere, which includes a ton of water vapor, some in cloud form, some falling from the clouds, some just hanging out, and a ton of moving air. This moving air makes for a bumpy flight, so your pilot heads up to the stratosphere where there's no moving air, no water vapor, and subsequently, no clouds. From then on out, it's smooth sailing until you have to descend and do it all in reverse. Soon you're on the ground at your dismal, rainy destination wondering how it's possible that not 30 minutes ago you were sailing through blue skies and sunshine. Science baby, that's how.
As always, we welcome questions at suburbanjoe at gmail dot com or in the comments section of these here posts. Keep 'em comin' folks. We love to hear them.
Sources:
Wikipedia - Clouds
Wikipedia - Earth's Atmosphere
Wikipedia - Troposphere
Wikipedia - Stratosphere
Wikipedia - Polar stratospheric clouds
Wikipedia - Noctilucent Clouds
Monday, June 12, 2006
DS Lite Initial Impressions
Did you have a glorious DS Lite Sunday? I know that I did as I was able to purchase it and spend a whopping 15 minutes or so with it. Yay. It's mostly my fault as I was on the last episode of season 1 of Deadwood and I needed to finish that season out so that I can start season 2 so that I can then watch season 3. I also had to spend the time uploading all of the fine pictures that go along with this post so that you, dear reader, have the best idea as to the gloriousness of the DS Lite that one man can provide. It's a sad fucking day when you spend more time uploading pictures of a video game device so that you can write a post about said device than you do actually playing the fucking thing. Hoople-head, thy name is Brandon.
My initial impression is that it kicks massive amounts of ass. It's smaller, lighter, prettier, brighter and seems to produce a nicer range of colors than the original DS. The stylus is also bigger and feels better in one's hand. On the minus side, it doesn't come with a wrist strap, thumb nubbin' thing, which I find to be the best stylus for Metroid Prime: Hunters, the battery life will be shorter if you use the highest brightness setting and it uses a different A/C adaptor, so any adaptors you may have purchased to charge your DS overseas are now rendered useless. The redesign also makes GBA carts stick out a centimeter or so, but I don't have any GBA carts, so that isn't a concern for me. For perverts like Keg who like to make themselves the meat in an Advance Wars sandwich, this may be an issue.
All of the buttons feel a great deal more responsive. With the DS, sometimes it didn't feel like you were actually pressing the button, which for games like Castlevania and Mario Kart, which don't use the stylus, was a big deal. The smaller size makes the screens look bigger as well as make it a little easier to hold for those non-stylus games. It seems less top heavy too, however that could just be an effect of the overall weight reduction.
Swapping over your Wi-Fi information from your old DS to the DS Lite is an exercise in simplicity so you don't have to worry about losing all of your friends codes or your WEP key or whatever other bits of knowledge you have kicking around in there. You simply start up a Wi-Fi enabled game on the old DS, choose the option to transfer your settings, turn on the new DS Lite, pick the option for download play, and voila, everything is transferred. Transferring it will remove it completely from the DS, so if you plan on keeping it for a family member that will be using mostly the same settings, you may want to get acquanted with that new stylus and do everything manually.
All in all, I'm quite happy with it, even if I haven't been able to do a lot with it as of yet. I should be pissed that I had to buy the blasted thing in the first place, rather than have the DS be this well designed at launch, but at the same time, I paid 6 bucks for the DS Lite, after trade-ins, so it's hard to be mad when so little real life money exchanged hands. Plus, I can assure you that I've spent far more on things that have ended up sucking out completely. *cough*PSP*cough*
Now, on with the pictures! All I ask is that rather than view the pictures as a slideshow, you take the time to view them one at a time, lest you lose out on the amazingly hilarious comments. It's not like you have anything better to do.
My initial impression is that it kicks massive amounts of ass. It's smaller, lighter, prettier, brighter and seems to produce a nicer range of colors than the original DS. The stylus is also bigger and feels better in one's hand. On the minus side, it doesn't come with a wrist strap, thumb nubbin' thing, which I find to be the best stylus for Metroid Prime: Hunters, the battery life will be shorter if you use the highest brightness setting and it uses a different A/C adaptor, so any adaptors you may have purchased to charge your DS overseas are now rendered useless. The redesign also makes GBA carts stick out a centimeter or so, but I don't have any GBA carts, so that isn't a concern for me. For perverts like Keg who like to make themselves the meat in an Advance Wars sandwich, this may be an issue.
All of the buttons feel a great deal more responsive. With the DS, sometimes it didn't feel like you were actually pressing the button, which for games like Castlevania and Mario Kart, which don't use the stylus, was a big deal. The smaller size makes the screens look bigger as well as make it a little easier to hold for those non-stylus games. It seems less top heavy too, however that could just be an effect of the overall weight reduction.
Swapping over your Wi-Fi information from your old DS to the DS Lite is an exercise in simplicity so you don't have to worry about losing all of your friends codes or your WEP key or whatever other bits of knowledge you have kicking around in there. You simply start up a Wi-Fi enabled game on the old DS, choose the option to transfer your settings, turn on the new DS Lite, pick the option for download play, and voila, everything is transferred. Transferring it will remove it completely from the DS, so if you plan on keeping it for a family member that will be using mostly the same settings, you may want to get acquanted with that new stylus and do everything manually.
All in all, I'm quite happy with it, even if I haven't been able to do a lot with it as of yet. I should be pissed that I had to buy the blasted thing in the first place, rather than have the DS be this well designed at launch, but at the same time, I paid 6 bucks for the DS Lite, after trade-ins, so it's hard to be mad when so little real life money exchanged hands. Plus, I can assure you that I've spent far more on things that have ended up sucking out completely. *cough*PSP*cough*
Now, on with the pictures! All I ask is that rather than view the pictures as a slideshow, you take the time to view them one at a time, lest you lose out on the amazingly hilarious comments. It's not like you have anything better to do.
Friday, June 09, 2006
To Infinity, and Beyond!
Greetings Squaddies! Sorry about yesterday. As it turns out, our internet connection at home is all wonky so posting was difficult. Plus, Blogger appeared to be on the fritz for a good chunk of the day so I was unable to post while at work either. Worry not though, as we have persevered and are ready to drop some knowledge.
This week's question comes from the Bag O Questions that Andy delivered to our doorstep a number of weeks back. His question is:
Kidding. Let's tackle the first question first. String theory is a theory of physics that describes the universe with strings, one dimensional extended objects, rather than particles. It is a mathematical theory at present, not having yet gotten to the point where it can be described as a physical theory. Our feeble instrumentation is unable to detect the results of predictions of string theory that differ from the predictions of other physical theories. In other words, the predictions of string theory that we can detect are easily explained by other theories. But I digress.
One of the interesting things about string theory is its ability to predict the number of dimensions in the universe. At a macroscopic level, we see the world in 4 dimensions, three spacial and one time. Earlier physical theories required the theorist to insert the number of dimensions, rather than have the theory drive the number of dimensions, as with string theory. I won't get into it too much, as I don't understand 99.9% of it, but it goes something like this. We know that in this universe, photons have no mass. In string theory, the mass of a photon depends on the energy of the string used to describe the photon. This string can have a number of quantum fluctuations that contribute to the energy of the string, and the number of fluctuations is determined by the number of dimensions in the universe. The more dimensions you have, the more fluctuations you can have. When the math is worked out for a photon to have no mass, which can be verified through experimentation, the universe has 10, 11 or 26 dimensions based on the flavor of string theory you use. To repeat my original answer, "they just do." Now it's possible that the extra dimensions are so small as to not really count, which can then reduce the number of dimensions to the 4 we're used to. Another idea is that we live in a 4 dimensional subset of the universe, which sounds vaguely like something Stoner Bob comes up with after a few rotations.
Now, for the second question, which asks why extradimensional math only works with 10 or 11 dimensions, we revisit my original answer for that question, which was "it doesn't." In other words, there are various extradimensional mathematical spaces and theories out there that allow for a range of dimensions. One such space is the Hilbert Space which allows for either a finite number of dimensions or an infinite number of dimensions, based on what you're doing. This is of particular importance because Hilbert spaces are used in quantum mechanics to contain the wavefunctions, which then describe all of the possible states of a system. In that particular application, a Hilbert space with infinite dimensions is infinitely more useful, if you'll excuse the pun.
This isn't a situation where we're adding dimensions to the 4 we already know of. Hilbert spaces contain coordinates, each of which represent a probable or possible amplitude for a quantum state which may apply to the position of a particle, or speed, or spin, so on and so on. Heisenberg's Uncertainty principal tells us that not all of these attributes can be observed simultaneously, for example, you can not measue the position of a particle at the same time as the momentum. Now, because they can't all be observed at the same time, only an infinite number of dimensions can contain all of the possible number of quantum states.
For the purpose of explaining this further, let's take a bastardized version of the Schroedinger's Cat thought experiment. Let's say you have a cat in a box and you don't know if it's alive or dead. Until such time as you open the box and see, there are two possibilities, alive and dead. Simple enough. Now, let's say you don't know the color of the cat. Until such time as you open the box and see, there are an infinite number of possibilities, when one considers color, spots, stripes, patches, etc. Any mathematical model that you used to express the possible colors for the unseen cat would need to be able to express the fact that there are an infinite number of possibilities. So it is with quantum mechanics, and so it is with Hilden spaces. Note, that the Hilden space can't tell us which of the infinite number of choices will exist in reality, just as our cat math wouldn't be able to tell us what the color of the cat will be, simply what it could be.
Quantum mechanics is one of the most interesting and beautiful branches of science that I've come across in my studies. There is a quiet elegance to the notion that there is a universe of possibilities that exist outside our frame of reference, all waiting to be observed so that they can be born into our reality. Now, there is a huge discrepancy between what happens on a quantum scale and what happens on a macroscopic scale, in fact some of the math derived from Hilden spaces shows that if you could take a physical object apart into its component particles, apply some sort of spin or rotation to the particles and then put the particles back together, you'd now have two copies of the original object. Despite this discrepancy, I can't help but think that the universe of possibilities that exist on a quantum level can make it to us and that rather than be dictated by our surroundings and pushed to our final destinations, we need to just realize the sea of potential around us and act. As Jake once said, "Go then. There are other worlds than these."
OK. Enough philosophizing as clearly I'm quite shitty at it. Hilden spaces aren't the only models that use dimensions other than 11, 10 or 26. There's something called the Hausdorff dimension that corresponds to the number of balls of radius r needed to cover item X completely. As you can well imagine, that dimension can easily grow towards infinity if either the object X increases in size or the radius r decreases in value. There's also the Krull dimension of commutative rings which describes the number of ways that early 80's fantasy movies seemed really cool when you were a kid, but manage to suck totally once you watch it as an adult.
So there you have it. You need not limit the number of dimensions to 10, 11, 26, 17 or eleventy billion. You can have whatever number of dimensions you want, provided you're willing to learn the math to back it up. Now if you'll excuse me, I have one very pissed off cat to let out.
Sources:
Wikipedia - String Theory
Wikipedia - Hilbert Space
Wikipedia - Dimension
The QED Project - "A Semi-Pop Non Mathematical Tutorial on Hilbert Space in Quantum Mechanics" - Jack Sarfatti
Metamath Home Page - Hilbert Space Explorer Home Page
This week's question comes from the Bag O Questions that Andy delivered to our doorstep a number of weeks back. His question is:
Extra dimensional theories are claimed to work in 10 or 11 dimensions. Why these numbers and not, say, 42?There are actually two different questions in there, so before we answer them, we need to identify them. The extra dimensional theories that work with 10 or 11 dimensions are the various flavors of string theory, and he's quite right. 10, 11 and 26 are the numbers of the day for those theories. So, our first question is, "Why does string theory work with 10 or 11 dimensions and not, say, 42? The other question, which is more in line with the spirit of the original question, is "Why do extra dimensional theories in general only work with 10 or 11 dimensions?" The short answers are "They just do." and "It doesn't." OK, good talk. See you next week.
Kidding. Let's tackle the first question first. String theory is a theory of physics that describes the universe with strings, one dimensional extended objects, rather than particles. It is a mathematical theory at present, not having yet gotten to the point where it can be described as a physical theory. Our feeble instrumentation is unable to detect the results of predictions of string theory that differ from the predictions of other physical theories. In other words, the predictions of string theory that we can detect are easily explained by other theories. But I digress.
One of the interesting things about string theory is its ability to predict the number of dimensions in the universe. At a macroscopic level, we see the world in 4 dimensions, three spacial and one time. Earlier physical theories required the theorist to insert the number of dimensions, rather than have the theory drive the number of dimensions, as with string theory. I won't get into it too much, as I don't understand 99.9% of it, but it goes something like this. We know that in this universe, photons have no mass. In string theory, the mass of a photon depends on the energy of the string used to describe the photon. This string can have a number of quantum fluctuations that contribute to the energy of the string, and the number of fluctuations is determined by the number of dimensions in the universe. The more dimensions you have, the more fluctuations you can have. When the math is worked out for a photon to have no mass, which can be verified through experimentation, the universe has 10, 11 or 26 dimensions based on the flavor of string theory you use. To repeat my original answer, "they just do." Now it's possible that the extra dimensions are so small as to not really count, which can then reduce the number of dimensions to the 4 we're used to. Another idea is that we live in a 4 dimensional subset of the universe, which sounds vaguely like something Stoner Bob comes up with after a few rotations.
Now, for the second question, which asks why extradimensional math only works with 10 or 11 dimensions, we revisit my original answer for that question, which was "it doesn't." In other words, there are various extradimensional mathematical spaces and theories out there that allow for a range of dimensions. One such space is the Hilbert Space which allows for either a finite number of dimensions or an infinite number of dimensions, based on what you're doing. This is of particular importance because Hilbert spaces are used in quantum mechanics to contain the wavefunctions, which then describe all of the possible states of a system. In that particular application, a Hilbert space with infinite dimensions is infinitely more useful, if you'll excuse the pun.
This isn't a situation where we're adding dimensions to the 4 we already know of. Hilbert spaces contain coordinates, each of which represent a probable or possible amplitude for a quantum state which may apply to the position of a particle, or speed, or spin, so on and so on. Heisenberg's Uncertainty principal tells us that not all of these attributes can be observed simultaneously, for example, you can not measue the position of a particle at the same time as the momentum. Now, because they can't all be observed at the same time, only an infinite number of dimensions can contain all of the possible number of quantum states.
For the purpose of explaining this further, let's take a bastardized version of the Schroedinger's Cat thought experiment. Let's say you have a cat in a box and you don't know if it's alive or dead. Until such time as you open the box and see, there are two possibilities, alive and dead. Simple enough. Now, let's say you don't know the color of the cat. Until such time as you open the box and see, there are an infinite number of possibilities, when one considers color, spots, stripes, patches, etc. Any mathematical model that you used to express the possible colors for the unseen cat would need to be able to express the fact that there are an infinite number of possibilities. So it is with quantum mechanics, and so it is with Hilden spaces. Note, that the Hilden space can't tell us which of the infinite number of choices will exist in reality, just as our cat math wouldn't be able to tell us what the color of the cat will be, simply what it could be.
Quantum mechanics is one of the most interesting and beautiful branches of science that I've come across in my studies. There is a quiet elegance to the notion that there is a universe of possibilities that exist outside our frame of reference, all waiting to be observed so that they can be born into our reality. Now, there is a huge discrepancy between what happens on a quantum scale and what happens on a macroscopic scale, in fact some of the math derived from Hilden spaces shows that if you could take a physical object apart into its component particles, apply some sort of spin or rotation to the particles and then put the particles back together, you'd now have two copies of the original object. Despite this discrepancy, I can't help but think that the universe of possibilities that exist on a quantum level can make it to us and that rather than be dictated by our surroundings and pushed to our final destinations, we need to just realize the sea of potential around us and act. As Jake once said, "Go then. There are other worlds than these."
OK. Enough philosophizing as clearly I'm quite shitty at it. Hilden spaces aren't the only models that use dimensions other than 11, 10 or 26. There's something called the Hausdorff dimension that corresponds to the number of balls of radius r needed to cover item X completely. As you can well imagine, that dimension can easily grow towards infinity if either the object X increases in size or the radius r decreases in value. There's also the Krull dimension of commutative rings which describes the number of ways that early 80's fantasy movies seemed really cool when you were a kid, but manage to suck totally once you watch it as an adult.
So there you have it. You need not limit the number of dimensions to 10, 11, 26, 17 or eleventy billion. You can have whatever number of dimensions you want, provided you're willing to learn the math to back it up. Now if you'll excuse me, I have one very pissed off cat to let out.
Sources:
Wikipedia - String Theory
Wikipedia - Hilbert Space
Wikipedia - Dimension
The QED Project - "A Semi-Pop Non Mathematical Tutorial on Hilbert Space in Quantum Mechanics" - Jack Sarfatti
Metamath Home Page - Hilbert Space Explorer Home Page
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Science Post on Thursday
Greetings Squaddies. Events, including, but not limited to a hectic work schedule, visiting family and a broken router at home have conspired against my writing this week's science post. Fret not though, as all events should be resolved tomorrow and at that time I shall illuminate the dark, mysterious crevices of multidimensional math.
Monday, June 05, 2006
Blinded by the Lite
Well, despite my best efforts to secure a DS Lite from those Targets that broke the street date, I am still left waiting for mine to arrive on the 11th. Releasing a new console on a Sunday seems odd to me, however I can only assume that Nintendo wants the DS Lite to spring from the Sunday circulars and lure us to the stores like the good little zombie consumers that we are.
I feel that I should purchase a game with my DS Lite but that would break my carrying case rule, which is that I can never have more DS games that can fit in a combination of the unit itself and the carrying case. This keeps me from buying games, playing them for 10 minutes and then buying new ones just because I'm attracted to the shiny, jangliness of it all. I have a terrible habit of never finishing handheld games, so this keeps my purchasing impulses in check. Truth be told, there really isn't anything out there for the DS that I feel the need to purchase, although Big Brain Academy is interesting. I love me some puzzle games, and this seems like it'd be right up the ol' alley. I'm still working on Brain Training, however I've gotten to the point in my Soduku career where I can't just plow through a puzzle, assigning numbers all willy-nilly and expecting it to work out in the end. The last puzzle I did was going swimmingly until I had a row with 4 9's, the letter Q and what appeared to be a crude drawing of a cat. I was watching "An Evening with Kevin Smith" and he was telling the Prince documentary story, and Prince was stealing godless women or something, so my attention wasn't all there, but still. Our local paper has mega soduku puzzles that have numbers and letters which always struck me as odd, because last I checked, numbers go up past 9, so why not just use double digit numbers? Next they'll be using basic shapes, or punctuation symbols or colored squares and you'll need a box of crayons do to the damn things.
But I digress. My future plans for the current DS are up in the air. Trading it in seems the quickest route, however there's nothing I need to put the credit towards and lately when I trade things in their salivations at the notion that I may preorder something leave me unsettled and slightly damp. I could sell it on eBay, but that would involve things like typing, packing and movement in the direction of the post office. Any one of those actions are enough to make me want to collapse in an exhausted heap, but all of them, two of them possibly in the same day, are more than I think I can handle. Plus, my screen does have some very minor scratching which is probably all that it takes for the seller to start screaming "fraud" and raise a ruckus. No, I can't describe the ruckus as it hasn't taken place yet, but I'm sure it would fall in line with your garden variety ruckuses. I'm sure I'll figure something out. Perhaps a perusal of the upcoming release schedule will unearth some pixellated nuggets that I can preorder.
I haven't been playing much lately as I've been watching back episodes of Deadwood to prepare myself for the upcoming beginning of Season 3. I don't know if I'll get through all of them in time, but I can tell you that I'm having a better time watching this show than I am navigating Kratos through the current shitty puzzle in God of War. I'm liking the game, in terms of the story, production values and combat, but these puzzles are absolutely craptastic. Nothing pulls me out of a game more than fighting your way through some temple's hallways so that I can balance on a rafter and try to jump spinning blade thingies, or do some logrolling exercise on a big spiked drum. Maybe I just get irritated too easily with these things, but when I think of picking the game up again, I don't want to, because I know of the puzzle mayhem that awaits me. I haven't even gotten to the point in the game that caused my friend Dennis to punch the couch in frustration and break his hand. Last I checked, when you have to put down the controller, you should be looking forward to the next time you can pick it up, not thinking that you have to "just get through this" to get to the good stuff.
Guitar Hero is still a lot of fun, and last week I nailed a song with a 5 star performance on the first try, despite never having heard the song before. Yes, it's on easy mode, but I still think that's an impressive feat. I should be playing that game more, but it requires standing, and my children have been sucking the life out of me lately which leaves me in more of a sitting place. Rocking out takes a fair amount of energy, and my audience deserves that I give them 110% which is about 109% more than what I'm currently operating with. On the other hand, sitting back and hearing the word "cocksucker" eleventy-seven times in a 50 minute period requires around 0.5%. Plus, Kristen Bell comes to the camp as a foul mouthed little grifter in the next episode and that's just too fine a television event to miss so that I can navigate some terminally pissed off bald guy over spinning saw blades and bubbling lava pits. Sorry Kratos, kill Ares on your own time, this cocksucker is busy.
Next week I'll update you on my DS Lite impressions, so mark the date on your calendar because it's going to be a tremendously uplifting time for all of us. That is, unless the apocalypse doesn't come tomorrow and suck us all into Hell. Fingers crossed!
I feel that I should purchase a game with my DS Lite but that would break my carrying case rule, which is that I can never have more DS games that can fit in a combination of the unit itself and the carrying case. This keeps me from buying games, playing them for 10 minutes and then buying new ones just because I'm attracted to the shiny, jangliness of it all. I have a terrible habit of never finishing handheld games, so this keeps my purchasing impulses in check. Truth be told, there really isn't anything out there for the DS that I feel the need to purchase, although Big Brain Academy is interesting. I love me some puzzle games, and this seems like it'd be right up the ol' alley. I'm still working on Brain Training, however I've gotten to the point in my Soduku career where I can't just plow through a puzzle, assigning numbers all willy-nilly and expecting it to work out in the end. The last puzzle I did was going swimmingly until I had a row with 4 9's, the letter Q and what appeared to be a crude drawing of a cat. I was watching "An Evening with Kevin Smith" and he was telling the Prince documentary story, and Prince was stealing godless women or something, so my attention wasn't all there, but still. Our local paper has mega soduku puzzles that have numbers and letters which always struck me as odd, because last I checked, numbers go up past 9, so why not just use double digit numbers? Next they'll be using basic shapes, or punctuation symbols or colored squares and you'll need a box of crayons do to the damn things.
But I digress. My future plans for the current DS are up in the air. Trading it in seems the quickest route, however there's nothing I need to put the credit towards and lately when I trade things in their salivations at the notion that I may preorder something leave me unsettled and slightly damp. I could sell it on eBay, but that would involve things like typing, packing and movement in the direction of the post office. Any one of those actions are enough to make me want to collapse in an exhausted heap, but all of them, two of them possibly in the same day, are more than I think I can handle. Plus, my screen does have some very minor scratching which is probably all that it takes for the seller to start screaming "fraud" and raise a ruckus. No, I can't describe the ruckus as it hasn't taken place yet, but I'm sure it would fall in line with your garden variety ruckuses. I'm sure I'll figure something out. Perhaps a perusal of the upcoming release schedule will unearth some pixellated nuggets that I can preorder.
I haven't been playing much lately as I've been watching back episodes of Deadwood to prepare myself for the upcoming beginning of Season 3. I don't know if I'll get through all of them in time, but I can tell you that I'm having a better time watching this show than I am navigating Kratos through the current shitty puzzle in God of War. I'm liking the game, in terms of the story, production values and combat, but these puzzles are absolutely craptastic. Nothing pulls me out of a game more than fighting your way through some temple's hallways so that I can balance on a rafter and try to jump spinning blade thingies, or do some logrolling exercise on a big spiked drum. Maybe I just get irritated too easily with these things, but when I think of picking the game up again, I don't want to, because I know of the puzzle mayhem that awaits me. I haven't even gotten to the point in the game that caused my friend Dennis to punch the couch in frustration and break his hand. Last I checked, when you have to put down the controller, you should be looking forward to the next time you can pick it up, not thinking that you have to "just get through this" to get to the good stuff.
Guitar Hero is still a lot of fun, and last week I nailed a song with a 5 star performance on the first try, despite never having heard the song before. Yes, it's on easy mode, but I still think that's an impressive feat. I should be playing that game more, but it requires standing, and my children have been sucking the life out of me lately which leaves me in more of a sitting place. Rocking out takes a fair amount of energy, and my audience deserves that I give them 110% which is about 109% more than what I'm currently operating with. On the other hand, sitting back and hearing the word "cocksucker" eleventy-seven times in a 50 minute period requires around 0.5%. Plus, Kristen Bell comes to the camp as a foul mouthed little grifter in the next episode and that's just too fine a television event to miss so that I can navigate some terminally pissed off bald guy over spinning saw blades and bubbling lava pits. Sorry Kratos, kill Ares on your own time, this cocksucker is busy.
Next week I'll update you on my DS Lite impressions, so mark the date on your calendar because it's going to be a tremendously uplifting time for all of us. That is, unless the apocalypse doesn't come tomorrow and suck us all into Hell. Fingers crossed!
Friday, June 02, 2006
Reply To: Evil
Today's story comes from my upcoming book "The Sinking Chair and Other Tales of Office Horror" to be published shortly after I write it which will be sometime between now and never. Rather than make you, my dearest readers, wait for it to come out, I've decided to share the horrible tales of cubicle terror here, free of charge. I know, I know, it's extremely generous of me to let you read stories that won't ever be presented in any other form, free of charge, regardless of the fact that you'd never pay for them anyways. I'm just that kind of guy. So, without further ado, I bring to you a tale of email horror known as...
Reply To: Evil
Now, let's get one thing straight right now. This isn't some story about how I misguidedly hit the Reply To All button and informed the whole company about my love of midget monkey porn. My replyin' skillz be game tight. I be knowin' which buttons to push for reals. No, today's story comes from that deep seated well of fright that we dip into whenever we think that all of our correspondance, including the things that have been sent to us and we haven't acted on yet because we're lazy and we then can't ask for them back because people will know we're lazy, has been deleted. I think my next story should be about the horrors of run-on sentences because that last one was fucking terrifying. Come with me, dear reader, but be sure to get a firm grip on your sanity as down this road lies madness. Insert insane cackle here. Ha-ha, ho-ho, it is to laugh.
So we use Lotus Notes at work, which, from what I can tell, was spawned in the blackest pits of hell. Maybe it's easy to administer, maybe it's very secure, maybe I'm just an idiot and I can't get it to do what I want to despite spending hours poking through all of the various menus, I don't know why my company insists on using it, but what I do know is that it seems hellbent on keeping me from being remotely productive when it comes to managing my emails. With Outlook, if you found you were getting close to reaching your limit for space on the mail server you could a) create personal folders on your hard drive and store your mail there within Outlook or b) create folders on your hard drive and store your mail there from outside of Outlook. With Lotus, as best as I can tell, if you want to store your mail for longer than the company mandated 90 days you can a) archive it and keep it for possibly longer than 90 days but no one really knows or b) travel to an alternate dimension where something happened along the way to alter the reality stream and Notes is actually a useful piece of software. We're going to discuss my attempts at choice a.
Earlier in the week someone sent out instructions on how to archive email in Lotus. This person was discussing the instructions with a co-worker and I happened to overhear the conversation. In said conversation, the sender of info said that she sent out the instructions because she wasn't sure if people knew about the fact that the mail server automatically deletes any message on the server that's more than 90 days old. What now? I asked her what she was talking about, me having been here almost a year and never being told such a thing, and she repeated the statement. I take a look in all of my folders, and sure enough, the only messages there are messages dated 3/1/2006 and newer. All of my emails for the project that got put on hold in February, but they're bringing back this year? Gone. All of my messages I keep as a record that orderables I tested all last year and in the beginning of this year? Gone. All the messages I received from HR when I was working out the hellish details of my daughter's lack of health insurance? Gone. Gone, gone, g-to-the-fucking-o-n-e, gone.
At this point, I'm told that I can email the Notes admin and he can restore my messages from a backup, however given that this deletion has been going on for who knows how long, I have no idea which backup I'm supposed to ask for. I can ask for a backup from last month, which would give me things deleted then, but what about the things deleted as time marched inexorably forward to this, my day of woe? And why the fuck would they not tell us that? More importantly, if their intent is to cut down on mail server space, why would they not give us the means to keep our messages in some other form, somewhere they won't be deleted at the hands of that bastard, Father Time? Most of our projects last considerably longer than 3 months, so deleting emails that are 90 days old means you may be deleting information that you're going to need at some point in the future. Now I have a better idea as to why this company keeps making the same stupid mistakes over and over and over. They don't know that they've made them, because all record of said mistake has been deleted.
Armed with this crucial bit of information, I decide to archive my email, hoping that this will stave off any deletion. I mean, the point of archiving is to keep a backup, a record, if you will, of your email. Surely, once it's archived, it stays forever, right? I'll try not to spoil it for you, but I wouldn't bet on it. The next bit of my story is mostly my fault, as instead of being the good little worker I should be, and listen dutifully to the conference call I was attending, the call held partially in my benefit as it was in regards to planning the testing of my only project, I decided that would be a good time to archive my mail.
I had spent all day organizing the mail in my Inbox into nice, neat little folders so that when I archived them, they'd be all squared away. I follow the archive instructions and navigate through menus that make no fucking sense and get everything set. I then choose the "Archive Now" option and Lotus goes through it's demonic mechanations. When the archiving was done, I head to the archive, see the Folders option on the side-panel-tree thing and open the folders. Aaaaand I open the folders. OK, where the fuck are my folders? Where in the name of all that is good and holy are my goddamned folders? OK, OK, don't panic. The archive must have just not picked up things in the folders. I head back to my Inbox, open my folders and everything I spent the day organizing, including every email regarding the project I'm currently on, save for maybe 5 or 6 messages, is gone. Poof, just like that. At this point, I want to scream in frustration, but I can't, because I'm supposed to be paying attention to the call I'm on. Instead, I shoot up, like a prairie dog, and check to see if the person who gave me the archiving instructions is available. She is not. Shit. I then sit back down and endure the rest of the call, which ends up being the 10 longest minutes of my life.
Once the call was over I frantically searched for the person who wrote the instructions. Once I did, she read the fear on my face and was kind enough to come over and help me out. As it turns out, because I hadn't created my Inbox's folder structure in my archive, all of the messages from my folders were placed in another place. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to create folders ahead of time in an archive that isn't created until I run the archive process, which will cause problems because folders aren't created, but whatever. Now that I have the archive, I can create the folders and then spend another afternoon organizing all of my archived email. She then proceeds to show me how to up the time limit of archived email, as apparantly, email in the archives get selectively deleted after a set period of time too. Not sure what the point of that is, as the point of an archive is to have a historical record of things. I hope the Library of Congress people don't get wind of this idea. "The Great Gatsby"? Fuck that old shit. Toss it!
I then asked her what she does to keep emails that she doesn't want our fascist email overlords deleting and she says that she copies them into Word. Mind you, when doing so, unless you name the Word document with the subject line of the email, you have no way of knowing which email you've saved just by looking at the document name in Explorer. Also, how much fucking time do these people think we have to spend on this bullshit? Do you know how much time it would take to copy the body of an email, paste it into Word, and then save the doc with the name matching the subject line of the email? Not much time for maybe one or two emails, but quite a bit for the amount of emails you'd want to save when working on a project that spans half a year or so.
Now, obviously, this wouldn't as much of a problem if our development processes were mature and decisions were captured outside of email but that's not something that happens overnight. Also, I seriously doubt that this 90 day limit bullshit is something new, and I can tell you, it's done fuck all to encourage people to not have email be the only record of decisions when it comes to our projects. Plus, there are plenty of times I can see you wanting to keep a backup of emails for more than 90 days. Maybe you get praise for something in February, and you want to have it for when your review rolls around in December. Maybe someone sent you a joke that you like to visit from time to time when the crushing boredeom of your job threatens to grind you in its steely wheels. Whatever the case may be, there should be some way of not deleting every piece of correspondance you receive after some set time limit.
On the plus side, it saves me the time I normally would spend organizing my mail, because if it's just going to be deleted from the archive anyway, what's the fucking point? Hello apathy, my old friend. Come to sit with me again?
In the immortal words of Count Floyd, "Ooooh, very scary." I hope you can sleep tonight and aren't jolted into insomnia with visions of deleted emails scaring you as you lie in bed. If not, I apologize. Next week I'll try to not be so terrifying.
Reply To: Evil
Now, let's get one thing straight right now. This isn't some story about how I misguidedly hit the Reply To All button and informed the whole company about my love of midget monkey porn. My replyin' skillz be game tight. I be knowin' which buttons to push for reals. No, today's story comes from that deep seated well of fright that we dip into whenever we think that all of our correspondance, including the things that have been sent to us and we haven't acted on yet because we're lazy and we then can't ask for them back because people will know we're lazy, has been deleted. I think my next story should be about the horrors of run-on sentences because that last one was fucking terrifying. Come with me, dear reader, but be sure to get a firm grip on your sanity as down this road lies madness. Insert insane cackle here. Ha-ha, ho-ho, it is to laugh.
So we use Lotus Notes at work, which, from what I can tell, was spawned in the blackest pits of hell. Maybe it's easy to administer, maybe it's very secure, maybe I'm just an idiot and I can't get it to do what I want to despite spending hours poking through all of the various menus, I don't know why my company insists on using it, but what I do know is that it seems hellbent on keeping me from being remotely productive when it comes to managing my emails. With Outlook, if you found you were getting close to reaching your limit for space on the mail server you could a) create personal folders on your hard drive and store your mail there within Outlook or b) create folders on your hard drive and store your mail there from outside of Outlook. With Lotus, as best as I can tell, if you want to store your mail for longer than the company mandated 90 days you can a) archive it and keep it for possibly longer than 90 days but no one really knows or b) travel to an alternate dimension where something happened along the way to alter the reality stream and Notes is actually a useful piece of software. We're going to discuss my attempts at choice a.
Earlier in the week someone sent out instructions on how to archive email in Lotus. This person was discussing the instructions with a co-worker and I happened to overhear the conversation. In said conversation, the sender of info said that she sent out the instructions because she wasn't sure if people knew about the fact that the mail server automatically deletes any message on the server that's more than 90 days old. What now? I asked her what she was talking about, me having been here almost a year and never being told such a thing, and she repeated the statement. I take a look in all of my folders, and sure enough, the only messages there are messages dated 3/1/2006 and newer. All of my emails for the project that got put on hold in February, but they're bringing back this year? Gone. All of my messages I keep as a record that orderables I tested all last year and in the beginning of this year? Gone. All the messages I received from HR when I was working out the hellish details of my daughter's lack of health insurance? Gone. Gone, gone, g-to-the-fucking-o-n-e, gone.
At this point, I'm told that I can email the Notes admin and he can restore my messages from a backup, however given that this deletion has been going on for who knows how long, I have no idea which backup I'm supposed to ask for. I can ask for a backup from last month, which would give me things deleted then, but what about the things deleted as time marched inexorably forward to this, my day of woe? And why the fuck would they not tell us that? More importantly, if their intent is to cut down on mail server space, why would they not give us the means to keep our messages in some other form, somewhere they won't be deleted at the hands of that bastard, Father Time? Most of our projects last considerably longer than 3 months, so deleting emails that are 90 days old means you may be deleting information that you're going to need at some point in the future. Now I have a better idea as to why this company keeps making the same stupid mistakes over and over and over. They don't know that they've made them, because all record of said mistake has been deleted.
Armed with this crucial bit of information, I decide to archive my email, hoping that this will stave off any deletion. I mean, the point of archiving is to keep a backup, a record, if you will, of your email. Surely, once it's archived, it stays forever, right? I'll try not to spoil it for you, but I wouldn't bet on it. The next bit of my story is mostly my fault, as instead of being the good little worker I should be, and listen dutifully to the conference call I was attending, the call held partially in my benefit as it was in regards to planning the testing of my only project, I decided that would be a good time to archive my mail.
I had spent all day organizing the mail in my Inbox into nice, neat little folders so that when I archived them, they'd be all squared away. I follow the archive instructions and navigate through menus that make no fucking sense and get everything set. I then choose the "Archive Now" option and Lotus goes through it's demonic mechanations. When the archiving was done, I head to the archive, see the Folders option on the side-panel-tree thing and open the folders. Aaaaand I open the folders. OK, where the fuck are my folders? Where in the name of all that is good and holy are my goddamned folders? OK, OK, don't panic. The archive must have just not picked up things in the folders. I head back to my Inbox, open my folders and everything I spent the day organizing, including every email regarding the project I'm currently on, save for maybe 5 or 6 messages, is gone. Poof, just like that. At this point, I want to scream in frustration, but I can't, because I'm supposed to be paying attention to the call I'm on. Instead, I shoot up, like a prairie dog, and check to see if the person who gave me the archiving instructions is available. She is not. Shit. I then sit back down and endure the rest of the call, which ends up being the 10 longest minutes of my life.
Once the call was over I frantically searched for the person who wrote the instructions. Once I did, she read the fear on my face and was kind enough to come over and help me out. As it turns out, because I hadn't created my Inbox's folder structure in my archive, all of the messages from my folders were placed in another place. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to create folders ahead of time in an archive that isn't created until I run the archive process, which will cause problems because folders aren't created, but whatever. Now that I have the archive, I can create the folders and then spend another afternoon organizing all of my archived email. She then proceeds to show me how to up the time limit of archived email, as apparantly, email in the archives get selectively deleted after a set period of time too. Not sure what the point of that is, as the point of an archive is to have a historical record of things. I hope the Library of Congress people don't get wind of this idea. "The Great Gatsby"? Fuck that old shit. Toss it!
I then asked her what she does to keep emails that she doesn't want our fascist email overlords deleting and she says that she copies them into Word. Mind you, when doing so, unless you name the Word document with the subject line of the email, you have no way of knowing which email you've saved just by looking at the document name in Explorer. Also, how much fucking time do these people think we have to spend on this bullshit? Do you know how much time it would take to copy the body of an email, paste it into Word, and then save the doc with the name matching the subject line of the email? Not much time for maybe one or two emails, but quite a bit for the amount of emails you'd want to save when working on a project that spans half a year or so.
Now, obviously, this wouldn't as much of a problem if our development processes were mature and decisions were captured outside of email but that's not something that happens overnight. Also, I seriously doubt that this 90 day limit bullshit is something new, and I can tell you, it's done fuck all to encourage people to not have email be the only record of decisions when it comes to our projects. Plus, there are plenty of times I can see you wanting to keep a backup of emails for more than 90 days. Maybe you get praise for something in February, and you want to have it for when your review rolls around in December. Maybe someone sent you a joke that you like to visit from time to time when the crushing boredeom of your job threatens to grind you in its steely wheels. Whatever the case may be, there should be some way of not deleting every piece of correspondance you receive after some set time limit.
On the plus side, it saves me the time I normally would spend organizing my mail, because if it's just going to be deleted from the archive anyway, what's the fucking point? Hello apathy, my old friend. Come to sit with me again?
In the immortal words of Count Floyd, "Ooooh, very scary." I hope you can sleep tonight and aren't jolted into insomnia with visions of deleted emails scaring you as you lie in bed. If not, I apologize. Next week I'll try to not be so terrifying.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Space...The Silent Frontier
Greetings Squaddies! Welcome back.
Today's question has as once again plumbing the depths of space. It comes from Keg who asks:
But I digress. On Earth, or any other planet with an atmosphere, your screaming causes a soundwave to propagate through the atmosphere. Basically the vibrations of your vocal cords cause the surrounding molecules to be disturbed. They in turn slam into other molecules which slam into other molecules and so on and so forth until said wave hits someone's ears. Their ears then collect the waves and translates them into something their brain recognizes as your plaintive wailings. They then tell you to keep it the hell down as they're trying to watch "Dharma and Greg". That Jenna Elfman is a hoot.
Air isn't the only thing that sound can proprogate through, however it gives us the best chance of being understood as anyone who has ever tried to speak underwater, or hear an argument through a wall can attest to. To be honest, I'm not sure if there's anything specific to our atmosphere that facilitates the transmission of sound waves, so it's possible that people could hear you scream on other planets in our solar system with an atmosphere, they just may be choking/burning/freezing to death while doing so.
Space, on the other hand, has no atmosphere, so when that Alien decides to use your fingers as toothpicks, the vibrations of your vocal cords vibrate the air molecules in your throat which then slam into...nothing. No slamming means no soundwaves. No soundwaves meand no sound and sooner than you can say "lickety split", or I guess mouth the words "lickety split", you're course numero uno for our slime dripping friend.
Now, that doesn't mean that sound doesn't exist in space, just not on any level that we can hear it. There is a gaseous ether that fills the void of space to the tune of about 10 atoms per cubic centimeter of space. Large scale galactic events like solar flares and explosions of planets as a result of fully operational Death Stars, cause vibrations in this galactic ether which then propagate through space. The wavelengths of these disturbances are so huge, that our ears can't collect the waves, and subsequently we can't hear the results of these disturbances. We can detect them through electronic means though, and then compress them into something we puny humans can understand. I guess the Alien poster should have had a disclaimer stating "Note: Does not apply to solar storms."
Sources:
Ask the Astronomer - Is there really sound in space?
Google Answers - Sound in space?
Wikipedia - Sound Waves
Today's question has as once again plumbing the depths of space. It comes from Keg who asks:
Why can't anyone hear you scream in space?Well, for one, it wouldn't be a very effective marketing campaign if the slogan was "In space, you can scream all you like and we'll be along shortly." Not that it would have mattered for our friends on the Nostromo as some of those people were bound and determined to end up as Alien food.
But I digress. On Earth, or any other planet with an atmosphere, your screaming causes a soundwave to propagate through the atmosphere. Basically the vibrations of your vocal cords cause the surrounding molecules to be disturbed. They in turn slam into other molecules which slam into other molecules and so on and so forth until said wave hits someone's ears. Their ears then collect the waves and translates them into something their brain recognizes as your plaintive wailings. They then tell you to keep it the hell down as they're trying to watch "Dharma and Greg". That Jenna Elfman is a hoot.
Air isn't the only thing that sound can proprogate through, however it gives us the best chance of being understood as anyone who has ever tried to speak underwater, or hear an argument through a wall can attest to. To be honest, I'm not sure if there's anything specific to our atmosphere that facilitates the transmission of sound waves, so it's possible that people could hear you scream on other planets in our solar system with an atmosphere, they just may be choking/burning/freezing to death while doing so.
Space, on the other hand, has no atmosphere, so when that Alien decides to use your fingers as toothpicks, the vibrations of your vocal cords vibrate the air molecules in your throat which then slam into...nothing. No slamming means no soundwaves. No soundwaves meand no sound and sooner than you can say "lickety split", or I guess mouth the words "lickety split", you're course numero uno for our slime dripping friend.
Now, that doesn't mean that sound doesn't exist in space, just not on any level that we can hear it. There is a gaseous ether that fills the void of space to the tune of about 10 atoms per cubic centimeter of space. Large scale galactic events like solar flares and explosions of planets as a result of fully operational Death Stars, cause vibrations in this galactic ether which then propagate through space. The wavelengths of these disturbances are so huge, that our ears can't collect the waves, and subsequently we can't hear the results of these disturbances. We can detect them through electronic means though, and then compress them into something we puny humans can understand. I guess the Alien poster should have had a disclaimer stating "Note: Does not apply to solar storms."
Sources:
Ask the Astronomer - Is there really sound in space?
Google Answers - Sound in space?
Wikipedia - Sound Waves
Monday, May 29, 2006
Memorial Day
Howdy.
No gaming post today, what with the holiday and all. I'm playing a lot of God of War and it seems insensitive to me, to write about this game on a day when we honor those that died in war. I'm also playing Guitar Hero a lot and it seems equally silly to write about how I can't get 5 stars on "Iron Man" when others are in far off lands missing their families while under a constant threat of bodily harm.
If you feel the need to spend some time on the internet, see if you can find a soldier's, or soldier's family's blog and leave a comment of support. This is not a political gesture, just a human one, and one that shouldn't be hard to make regardless of your position on the war. One of the permanent links on this page is to Monique's site, Word Well. Monique's husband Terry is currently stationed in Iraq and is only a couple of months away from coming home. Should you want to show some support, that wouldn't be a bad place to start.
Take care. See you on Wednesday.
-Brandon
No gaming post today, what with the holiday and all. I'm playing a lot of God of War and it seems insensitive to me, to write about this game on a day when we honor those that died in war. I'm also playing Guitar Hero a lot and it seems equally silly to write about how I can't get 5 stars on "Iron Man" when others are in far off lands missing their families while under a constant threat of bodily harm.
If you feel the need to spend some time on the internet, see if you can find a soldier's, or soldier's family's blog and leave a comment of support. This is not a political gesture, just a human one, and one that shouldn't be hard to make regardless of your position on the war. One of the permanent links on this page is to Monique's site, Word Well. Monique's husband Terry is currently stationed in Iraq and is only a couple of months away from coming home. Should you want to show some support, that wouldn't be a bad place to start.
Take care. See you on Wednesday.
-Brandon
Friday, May 26, 2006
Finale Wrap-Up
Having finished watching the last of our TV season finales last night, I am now ready to give you all my opinions on them. How glorious for you. In truth, we haven't watched all of them as we still have 24 to watch. However, given that we don't plan on watching 24 next season, I'll abstain from commenting on it. We also happened to lose the finale to "How I Met Your Mother" due to our fearless leader's speech but I'm pretty sure Ted and Robin got together, an interesting development given that we know that Robin isn't the "mother" in question. Then again, I don't think that anyone watching Cheers in it's heyday honestly thought that Sam and Diane would stay together. I should point out that this post includes massive spoilers for various shows. My apologies for not mentioning that earlier and possibly ruining things for people currently watching Cheers. So, if you don't want to know that Jack died on Lost, you probably don't want to read this post. Dammit! I did it again. Kidding.
Gilmore Girls
This was a bummer of a finale as we see Luke and Lorelei bust up and Lorelei hooking back up with Christopher, something we knew was coming for probably 5 - 6 episodes. It's also a bummer of a finale as the show's creators and primary driving forces have left the show, and the network has chosen to place it in the hands of a guy who was once put in a loony bin for stalking Heidi Klum. Lovely. Not sure where the series will go next year, as we've already been through years of Luke and Lorelei dancing around each other but I'm willing to keep watching the show on the basis of the actors/actresses alone. Rory continues to be a real interesting character too, so hopefully they'll keep doing well by her.
Veronica Mars
Frankly, they could just have an hour of Kristin Bell reading the paper and I would have been glued to the screen. Seeing how I'm not the only person they're trying to appease here, they did considerably more than that. In fact, I don't think she read the paper at all. Anyways, the finale was good, with the right number of wrapped up ends and newly loosened ends, however I think it could have benefitted by being 2 hours long. This was one very dense finale, with some fantastic acting and lots of revelations and when done in an hour, it left me a little exhausted and confused about some elements. I was glad to see Veronica and Logan getting together because I think that Logan is the most interesting character on the show, and definitely one of the best actors, given how he's able to make you care about a character that spends half the time being a jackhole. Of course, all of the acting is incredible, but he is way incredible. Glad to see it has been picked up by the CW.
The Unit
For a midseason show, The Unit has done pretty well and has been damn entertaining. I'm concerned that it won't prove to be so over an entire season's run of shows, not without doing some character retooling, but that's just me. I'd like to see some multi-episode mission arcs, instead of just multi-episode story arcs with the wives. Mostly because the wives are pretty much all staggeringly annoying. The finale left some questions, notably if any of the wives died, but I kind of doubt that any did, only because they didn't give any indication whatsoever that anyone got hurt other than Haysbert's character. All in all, it was a good finale, but it could have been easily swapped out with any other show in the season which somewhat diminishes it, given what we expect from finales. At the same time, I only have so much energy to devote to being concerned about fictional characters for the summer, so I'm happy that I can just assume they're all safe at home bickering over finances and assassinating third world dictators.
Bones
Before watching the finale, Linda and I talked about how we want to see some multi-episode arcs, or a season long arc on Bones next year, and lo and behold we were rewarded with the beginning of one in the finale. The problem is, I'm not sure it's the right arc. So basically Bones's mom and dad were post office box robbers on the run from a murderous group of bank robbers? Riiiight. The introduction of Bones's brother was interesting, especially given the revelations of what happened to them as kids, but overall, I think this new development is kind of silly. Now that it looks like they're going to spend time searching for Bones's father, despite her father's insistence to not do so, I hope the writers watched Supernatural this season to know how to handle such a plot line. I also want to see more of the tanktops we were lucky enough to have witnessed in the beginning of the season. Yowza!
Lost
This finale, and Supernatural's finale make me want to just fast forward until September. Soooo much came out, yet at the same time didn't. We know what caused the plane to crash, or do we? We know what Desmond thinks caused the plane to crash, but we have no definitive answer. I like that we now have a character connected to the island, but not on the island, existing outside of flashbacks (Penny). That should put to death any of the theories that the islanders are all dead, unless they plan on doing a crossover with either "Medium" or "The Ghost Whisperer". I also liked seeing that much Desmond, because for someone with so little screen time this season, he's a damn likeable character. Henry Gale as the leader, at least that's my interpretation, of the Others was a nice development. Very Usual Suspects. Personally, I think this show can last for about 5 years and still be entertaining, longer than that and I think we start venturing into X-Files territory where things become so complicated no one, including the writers, have any idea what the hell is going on. Given that this would put this finale at nearly the halfway point, the finale did a good job at answering some very important questions, and opening up some more, while at the same time, changing the direction of the show to involve others looking for our island friends. The fact that others are looking is interesting, given Bernard's ideas a few episodes ago that no one the island seems interested in getting off of it, a sentiment echoed in the finale by the fact that the only idea people came up with for the boat was to use it track Jack and Co. across the island. Next fall should be interesting.
Smallville
Ugh. For a season that started off so well, they really shot it all to shit with the 100th episode and then went back to the depths of craptitude realized last season. So, now Lex is channeling Zod? Whatever. I'll watch it next season, because I want to see how much worse it can get. I'm sure that Clark will escape from the Phantom Zone in the first 10 minutes of the season premiere and then we'll be treated to an hour of Lana furrowing her brow as if she's trying to read something far away or figure out a math problem in her head. At this point, this show is so far removed from anything remotely tied to traditional Superman continuity, that I no longer harbor an interest in seeing them bring Batman on the show for fear of what they'd do to the character.
The OC
Double ugh. At least Marissa is dead, which gives me some hope for the future. Joss Schwartz is coming back too, which should help, however it's a little like an architect leaving the house construction site, and then coming back to oversee operations, but when he gets there, he finds that they've build a carousel. There's only so much he can do at the moment, and the fact that they killed off Marissa, instead of just not making the entire show about her, leads me to believe that the writers don't know anything about character development. Oh well. We'll always have season 1.
Supernatural
This show has my vote for the best new show this season, and is tied for Lost as the best finale. They did a really good job of providing creepy standalone episodes (the Bloody Mary episode was scarier than most recent horror movies) but maintaining an arc over the course of the season that came to a head at the end of the season. Sam and Dean are both really likeable characters, with good chemistry between the actors, all of which is nicely maintained when their dad is dropped into the mix. I'm glad that we won't be seeing any more of Meg, as she looked too much like Sandy Duncan to be effective as a viable villain. It's hard to be scared by a murderous Peter Pan. The finale's end was completely unexpected, and very well done. I can't wait to see what happens in the fall.
None of the new shows for next season look even remotely interesting to me, which is OK, given that the past two years have provided some really stellar new shows to our viewing lineup. Given the amount of TV we currently watch, along with the hundreds of hours of TV on DVD we have, I don't think we could watch any more TV if we tried without quitting or jobs or completely ignoring our children, neither of which are viable options, despite their inherent appeal.
Now the long summer of Netflix and TV on DVD can begin. Huzzah!
Gilmore Girls
This was a bummer of a finale as we see Luke and Lorelei bust up and Lorelei hooking back up with Christopher, something we knew was coming for probably 5 - 6 episodes. It's also a bummer of a finale as the show's creators and primary driving forces have left the show, and the network has chosen to place it in the hands of a guy who was once put in a loony bin for stalking Heidi Klum. Lovely. Not sure where the series will go next year, as we've already been through years of Luke and Lorelei dancing around each other but I'm willing to keep watching the show on the basis of the actors/actresses alone. Rory continues to be a real interesting character too, so hopefully they'll keep doing well by her.
Veronica Mars
Frankly, they could just have an hour of Kristin Bell reading the paper and I would have been glued to the screen. Seeing how I'm not the only person they're trying to appease here, they did considerably more than that. In fact, I don't think she read the paper at all. Anyways, the finale was good, with the right number of wrapped up ends and newly loosened ends, however I think it could have benefitted by being 2 hours long. This was one very dense finale, with some fantastic acting and lots of revelations and when done in an hour, it left me a little exhausted and confused about some elements. I was glad to see Veronica and Logan getting together because I think that Logan is the most interesting character on the show, and definitely one of the best actors, given how he's able to make you care about a character that spends half the time being a jackhole. Of course, all of the acting is incredible, but he is way incredible. Glad to see it has been picked up by the CW.
The Unit
For a midseason show, The Unit has done pretty well and has been damn entertaining. I'm concerned that it won't prove to be so over an entire season's run of shows, not without doing some character retooling, but that's just me. I'd like to see some multi-episode mission arcs, instead of just multi-episode story arcs with the wives. Mostly because the wives are pretty much all staggeringly annoying. The finale left some questions, notably if any of the wives died, but I kind of doubt that any did, only because they didn't give any indication whatsoever that anyone got hurt other than Haysbert's character. All in all, it was a good finale, but it could have been easily swapped out with any other show in the season which somewhat diminishes it, given what we expect from finales. At the same time, I only have so much energy to devote to being concerned about fictional characters for the summer, so I'm happy that I can just assume they're all safe at home bickering over finances and assassinating third world dictators.
Bones
Before watching the finale, Linda and I talked about how we want to see some multi-episode arcs, or a season long arc on Bones next year, and lo and behold we were rewarded with the beginning of one in the finale. The problem is, I'm not sure it's the right arc. So basically Bones's mom and dad were post office box robbers on the run from a murderous group of bank robbers? Riiiight. The introduction of Bones's brother was interesting, especially given the revelations of what happened to them as kids, but overall, I think this new development is kind of silly. Now that it looks like they're going to spend time searching for Bones's father, despite her father's insistence to not do so, I hope the writers watched Supernatural this season to know how to handle such a plot line. I also want to see more of the tanktops we were lucky enough to have witnessed in the beginning of the season. Yowza!
Lost
This finale, and Supernatural's finale make me want to just fast forward until September. Soooo much came out, yet at the same time didn't. We know what caused the plane to crash, or do we? We know what Desmond thinks caused the plane to crash, but we have no definitive answer. I like that we now have a character connected to the island, but not on the island, existing outside of flashbacks (Penny). That should put to death any of the theories that the islanders are all dead, unless they plan on doing a crossover with either "Medium" or "The Ghost Whisperer". I also liked seeing that much Desmond, because for someone with so little screen time this season, he's a damn likeable character. Henry Gale as the leader, at least that's my interpretation, of the Others was a nice development. Very Usual Suspects. Personally, I think this show can last for about 5 years and still be entertaining, longer than that and I think we start venturing into X-Files territory where things become so complicated no one, including the writers, have any idea what the hell is going on. Given that this would put this finale at nearly the halfway point, the finale did a good job at answering some very important questions, and opening up some more, while at the same time, changing the direction of the show to involve others looking for our island friends. The fact that others are looking is interesting, given Bernard's ideas a few episodes ago that no one the island seems interested in getting off of it, a sentiment echoed in the finale by the fact that the only idea people came up with for the boat was to use it track Jack and Co. across the island. Next fall should be interesting.
Smallville
Ugh. For a season that started off so well, they really shot it all to shit with the 100th episode and then went back to the depths of craptitude realized last season. So, now Lex is channeling Zod? Whatever. I'll watch it next season, because I want to see how much worse it can get. I'm sure that Clark will escape from the Phantom Zone in the first 10 minutes of the season premiere and then we'll be treated to an hour of Lana furrowing her brow as if she's trying to read something far away or figure out a math problem in her head. At this point, this show is so far removed from anything remotely tied to traditional Superman continuity, that I no longer harbor an interest in seeing them bring Batman on the show for fear of what they'd do to the character.
The OC
Double ugh. At least Marissa is dead, which gives me some hope for the future. Joss Schwartz is coming back too, which should help, however it's a little like an architect leaving the house construction site, and then coming back to oversee operations, but when he gets there, he finds that they've build a carousel. There's only so much he can do at the moment, and the fact that they killed off Marissa, instead of just not making the entire show about her, leads me to believe that the writers don't know anything about character development. Oh well. We'll always have season 1.
Supernatural
This show has my vote for the best new show this season, and is tied for Lost as the best finale. They did a really good job of providing creepy standalone episodes (the Bloody Mary episode was scarier than most recent horror movies) but maintaining an arc over the course of the season that came to a head at the end of the season. Sam and Dean are both really likeable characters, with good chemistry between the actors, all of which is nicely maintained when their dad is dropped into the mix. I'm glad that we won't be seeing any more of Meg, as she looked too much like Sandy Duncan to be effective as a viable villain. It's hard to be scared by a murderous Peter Pan. The finale's end was completely unexpected, and very well done. I can't wait to see what happens in the fall.
None of the new shows for next season look even remotely interesting to me, which is OK, given that the past two years have provided some really stellar new shows to our viewing lineup. Given the amount of TV we currently watch, along with the hundreds of hours of TV on DVD we have, I don't think we could watch any more TV if we tried without quitting or jobs or completely ignoring our children, neither of which are viable options, despite their inherent appeal.
Now the long summer of Netflix and TV on DVD can begin. Huzzah!
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
It's the End of the World As We Know It
Greetings Squaddies! Welcome back.
I must have left my manners in the hotel room upon coming back from vacation because I completely forgot to thank Andy for manning the ship while I was gone. He was kind enough to repost all of the stuff I had written for the last week and he provided the question for last Wednesday's science post as well. He's a good laddie that Andy is. So thanks mate. There's a pint in it for ye once we meet up again.
On to this week's question, provided by Aaron. He asks:
The answer all depends on just who's days are going to be ending. If it's all of our days, it's pretty unlikely, if it's just your days, it's slightly more likely. That's not to say that Aaron has some crazy, whackjob stalkeroid out there sitting in a skeezy gray van circling Aaron's picture with a black marker while rocking back in forth in the driver's seat, more that we could very well see an asteroid impact in our lifetime, just not one that will wipe out all life on the planet. Some life, possibly, just not all life.
The Earth is no stranger to getting pounded on by space rocks, as impact craters exist all over our fair world in various places such as the Yucatan Peninsula, Siberia, the Canadian High Arctic and here in the good old US of A. The impact in the Yucatan Peninsula is thought, by some, to be the catalyst for the extinction of the dinosaurs, and about 70% of all species on the planet at the time. Sure, we're a heck of a lot smaller than the dinosaurs, but not small enough to weather such an impact and emerge unscathed.
On the other side of the spectrum, we have the Tunguska Fireball. In 1908, in the Tunguska region of Siberia, a massive explosion occurred about 6 - 8 km above the surface of the earth. The resulting explosion caused shockwaves that could be measured as far away as Germany, incinerated trees and herds of reindeer and produced a fireball that could be seen and felt from 60 km away. The prominant theory is that some sort of space rock, be it a comet or a meteorite, detonated in the atmosphere. The sides are pretty well split between comet and meteorite, however what they can agree on is that a) it was from space, b) it was a rock and c) it weighed about 100,000 tons. Replace "remote section of Siberia" with "New York City" and you can see why a space rock impact could very well end some days, but not all our days. Oh sure, we'd all have a bad day in one way or another if a major city was taken out by a passing space rock, but some of us would have a worse day than others.
So, how can we assess the threat that looms above us in space? Thankfully, we have science to help us. The fine folks at Nasa currently use what's called the Torino Scale (developed by a one Richard P. Binzel, MIT) which rates Near Earth Objects (NEO's) from a scale of 1 - 10. A 1 means that there's something out there that could, some day, possibly strike the Earth, however subsequent readings should reclassify the object as harmless, to a 10 which means that a mass level extinction object is on its way and a collision is assured. The Torino scale isn't perfect, as it tends to get folks all riled up, thinking they're going ot die in a storm of hellfire, and was reworded in 2005 to not sound quite so dire. Some folks advocate the ditching of the Torino Scale altogether and replacing it with some other scale, such as the Palermo Impact Hazard Scale, which is a logarithmic scale used to assess threats to the Earth. The Palermo Scale isn't as easy to communicate to the public (logarithms are funny that way) and doesn't have the informative color coding we as Americans have come to rely on. As any post 9-11 American can attest to, our media loves themselves some color coded threat levels.
From the Torino Scale we have 3 levels of "Certain Collision". An 8 means something is going to hit the earth and do some localized damage, a la what happened in Tunguska. This happens every 50 to several 100 years. A 9 wouldn't kill us all off but would really do some damage on land, or cause a massive tsunami at sea and happens every 10,000 to 100,000 years. A 10 is the big one, causing you to either perish or emerge as Lord of the Roaches. These happen once per every 100,000 years at the most frequent, but probably a hell of a lot less often. Whew.
Currently there are 13 NEO's observed by NASA in the past 60 days, two of which are rated with a rating of 1. To give you an idea as to how quickly some of these ratings are downgraded, when I originally researched this info on Monday, May 22nd, one of these objects had a rating of 2. Of the two rated objects, one has an impact year of 2102, and one has an impact year range of 2036 - 2069. Again, with a rating of 1, it's pretty much assured that neither NEO will impact the earth, however if it did, you're looking at an impact possibly 63 years from now.By then, I'll have had a pretty good run, being 97 years old and most likely would welcome the opportunity for an obituary that read "Brandon Cackowski-Schnell, 97, Nailed by Asteroid".
So, given the fact that we're currently not tracking anything capable of doing anything but possibly causing media scares, and given that about 80% of the Earth's surface is uninhabited, I'd say that the odds of you witnessing an asteroid impact that causes massive amounts of casualties is pretty unlikely. While it's true that even an ocean impact could cause a tsunami that could do a large amount of damage to coastal cities, there's a hell of a lot more ocean that's no where near coasts than there is beachfront waters. Bottom line is that yes, Aaron, you have to mow the lawn this weekend. Find some other reason to blame your procrastination on.
Much like how people used to really win on MTV, people really get their questions answered here at SuburbanJoe, so keep 'em coming.
Sources:
Near Earth Object Program, NASA - Current Impact Risks
Near Earth Object Program, NASA - The Torino Impact Hazard Scale
Wikipedia - Torino Scale
The Straight Dope - "What caused the massive 1908 explosion in Tunguska, Siberia?", Cecil Adams, Feb. 28, 2003
Astrobiology.com - Contemplating Craters
I must have left my manners in the hotel room upon coming back from vacation because I completely forgot to thank Andy for manning the ship while I was gone. He was kind enough to repost all of the stuff I had written for the last week and he provided the question for last Wednesday's science post as well. He's a good laddie that Andy is. So thanks mate. There's a pint in it for ye once we meet up again.
On to this week's question, provided by Aaron. He asks:
It has not been asked before, and this is an excellent question. Nice work son.OK, so if it hasn’t been asked before, I’d like to know what the chances are of an ‘end of days’ asteroid striking the earth in our lifetime?
The answer all depends on just who's days are going to be ending. If it's all of our days, it's pretty unlikely, if it's just your days, it's slightly more likely. That's not to say that Aaron has some crazy, whackjob stalkeroid out there sitting in a skeezy gray van circling Aaron's picture with a black marker while rocking back in forth in the driver's seat, more that we could very well see an asteroid impact in our lifetime, just not one that will wipe out all life on the planet. Some life, possibly, just not all life.
The Earth is no stranger to getting pounded on by space rocks, as impact craters exist all over our fair world in various places such as the Yucatan Peninsula, Siberia, the Canadian High Arctic and here in the good old US of A. The impact in the Yucatan Peninsula is thought, by some, to be the catalyst for the extinction of the dinosaurs, and about 70% of all species on the planet at the time. Sure, we're a heck of a lot smaller than the dinosaurs, but not small enough to weather such an impact and emerge unscathed.
On the other side of the spectrum, we have the Tunguska Fireball. In 1908, in the Tunguska region of Siberia, a massive explosion occurred about 6 - 8 km above the surface of the earth. The resulting explosion caused shockwaves that could be measured as far away as Germany, incinerated trees and herds of reindeer and produced a fireball that could be seen and felt from 60 km away. The prominant theory is that some sort of space rock, be it a comet or a meteorite, detonated in the atmosphere. The sides are pretty well split between comet and meteorite, however what they can agree on is that a) it was from space, b) it was a rock and c) it weighed about 100,000 tons. Replace "remote section of Siberia" with "New York City" and you can see why a space rock impact could very well end some days, but not all our days. Oh sure, we'd all have a bad day in one way or another if a major city was taken out by a passing space rock, but some of us would have a worse day than others.
So, how can we assess the threat that looms above us in space? Thankfully, we have science to help us. The fine folks at Nasa currently use what's called the Torino Scale (developed by a one Richard P. Binzel, MIT) which rates Near Earth Objects (NEO's) from a scale of 1 - 10. A 1 means that there's something out there that could, some day, possibly strike the Earth, however subsequent readings should reclassify the object as harmless, to a 10 which means that a mass level extinction object is on its way and a collision is assured. The Torino scale isn't perfect, as it tends to get folks all riled up, thinking they're going ot die in a storm of hellfire, and was reworded in 2005 to not sound quite so dire. Some folks advocate the ditching of the Torino Scale altogether and replacing it with some other scale, such as the Palermo Impact Hazard Scale, which is a logarithmic scale used to assess threats to the Earth. The Palermo Scale isn't as easy to communicate to the public (logarithms are funny that way) and doesn't have the informative color coding we as Americans have come to rely on. As any post 9-11 American can attest to, our media loves themselves some color coded threat levels.
From the Torino Scale we have 3 levels of "Certain Collision". An 8 means something is going to hit the earth and do some localized damage, a la what happened in Tunguska. This happens every 50 to several 100 years. A 9 wouldn't kill us all off but would really do some damage on land, or cause a massive tsunami at sea and happens every 10,000 to 100,000 years. A 10 is the big one, causing you to either perish or emerge as Lord of the Roaches. These happen once per every 100,000 years at the most frequent, but probably a hell of a lot less often. Whew.
Currently there are 13 NEO's observed by NASA in the past 60 days, two of which are rated with a rating of 1. To give you an idea as to how quickly some of these ratings are downgraded, when I originally researched this info on Monday, May 22nd, one of these objects had a rating of 2. Of the two rated objects, one has an impact year of 2102, and one has an impact year range of 2036 - 2069. Again, with a rating of 1, it's pretty much assured that neither NEO will impact the earth, however if it did, you're looking at an impact possibly 63 years from now.By then, I'll have had a pretty good run, being 97 years old and most likely would welcome the opportunity for an obituary that read "Brandon Cackowski-Schnell, 97, Nailed by Asteroid".
So, given the fact that we're currently not tracking anything capable of doing anything but possibly causing media scares, and given that about 80% of the Earth's surface is uninhabited, I'd say that the odds of you witnessing an asteroid impact that causes massive amounts of casualties is pretty unlikely. While it's true that even an ocean impact could cause a tsunami that could do a large amount of damage to coastal cities, there's a hell of a lot more ocean that's no where near coasts than there is beachfront waters. Bottom line is that yes, Aaron, you have to mow the lawn this weekend. Find some other reason to blame your procrastination on.
Much like how people used to really win on MTV, people really get their questions answered here at SuburbanJoe, so keep 'em coming.
Sources:
Near Earth Object Program, NASA - Current Impact Risks
Near Earth Object Program, NASA - The Torino Impact Hazard Scale
Wikipedia - Torino Scale
The Straight Dope - "What caused the massive 1908 explosion in Tunguska, Siberia?", Cecil Adams, Feb. 28, 2003
Astrobiology.com - Contemplating Craters
Monday, May 22, 2006
Still on Vacation
OK, technically I've been back from vacation since Saturday, but as far as our little corner of the universe is concerned, the "Gone Fishing" sign is still up. I know, I know, it's odd that I had content when I was gone, but now that I'm back, I have nothing, however while I was gone I was cut off from all gaming news, and played nothing electronic other than a few games of Soduku. As a result, I have nothing game related to talk about. Amazingly enough, even though I was completely cut off from gaming sites, I still knew that the new X-Men movie tie-in game would suck ass. It's like I'm psychic or something.
Instead of me rambling on about nothing, instead I offer the superior writings of Bill Harris, of Dubious Quality Fame. He talks about E3 and the upcoming release calendar for the various platforms. He writes better, has more information and is generally more entertaining than me on my best day, so it would serve you well to read his stuff. I know that doesn't exactly give you a reason to come back and hear me blather on about games, but who else answers all of your lilac cow questions? Yeah, I thought so. See you Wednesday.
Instead of me rambling on about nothing, instead I offer the superior writings of Bill Harris, of Dubious Quality Fame. He talks about E3 and the upcoming release calendar for the various platforms. He writes better, has more information and is generally more entertaining than me on my best day, so it would serve you well to read his stuff. I know that doesn't exactly give you a reason to come back and hear me blather on about games, but who else answers all of your lilac cow questions? Yeah, I thought so. See you Wednesday.
Friday, May 19, 2006
Fun from the Archives
Given that I'm in Florida right now, I've decided to yet again raid the archives for material. Yes, I'm lazy, however I should remind you that all of this is free, so if you don't like it, feel free to move along. Wait! Please don't go. I didn't mean it! I love you! Pleaaaase!!
This missive comes from when Linda and I lived in Virginia. It's a hoot.
A Tree Grows in Ashburn
There will come a time, dear reader, when you are sitting at home engaging in home-type activities. Perhaps you are reading the paper, perhaps you are playing a computer game, perhaps you are down in your workshop tinkering or lathe-ing or doing whatever it is that people in workshops do. Your significant other will enter the room and after spending some time staring out at the backyard, a look of impending work on their face, will turn to you and utter the four words of your impending doom: The yard needs trees. At this point drop whatever it is you're doing and run out of the home as fast as your legs can carry. Do not grab your wallet, a new identity will be provided for you. Do not stop to pack clothing, you'll buy what you need as you need it. Do not kiss the children goodbye, do not wave to the neighbors. You must forget all of these people if you hope to survive. The other choice is to nod grimly and steel yourself for the upcoming task. Mrs. Joe and I recently completed a weekend of tree planting, or as we in No. VA like to call it, "rock smashing and swearing". Anyone who has ever attempted to plant anything in Virginia can tell you that it's like trying to spread butter on a cat. OK, maybe that isn't a good analogy as I don't know what the hell it means but boy is it tough. The planting not the buttering, although I imagine that's difficult too. The main problems stem from the fact that Virginia doesn't have soil per se, it has rock with occasional pockets of softer more breakable rock and some clay. On the plus side we don't have a problem with gophers as they can't burrow through our rock-strewn landscape. They have instead erected a shanty-town in my backyard and regularly shake down my dogs for cigarettes. Mrs. Joe and I have planted a fair number of things in this god-forsaken soil. Surprisingly we've managed to keep most things alive. What we have not managed to do is remember what a horrible, horrible time it is to dig in our yard. For this time around we decided to plant 6 trees that were purchased at Home Depot and to move a rather large and heavy dogwood that was planted by our builders. We have a huge rectangular backyard nearly devoid of plant life so our builder decided that the two trees would look best planted one on top of the other. I am constantly amazed that these people manage to build houses that are suitable for occupation. Whenever I walk through the houses they are currently building I keep expecting to see a sign that reads "Floor, then roof!" But I digress. It was a fine Sunday morning. The trees had been purchased and placed at their approximate planting locations. The bags of mulch and soil were stacked in the backyard. The wheelbarrow and yard cart were waiting to be used. The pickaxe, shovel, jackhammer, backhoe, dynamite, blasting caps, C-4 and portable thermonuclear device were all anxious to start tearing into the virgin soil. Mrs. Joe and I planned our assault. With any large scale task one must plan ahead. The planting plans went something like this: Step One: Pick a spot for your leafy friend. Step Two: Start digging. Step Three: 2 inches later, hit rock. Step Four: Curse the God that would give you such harsh, unyielding soil. Step Five: Move five feet in any direction. Repeat steps 1-4. Eventually you'll have a whole bunch of little holes in your yard. Rent these out to the gophers. Keep the trees in their pots. If needed you can always pile mulch around the pots to hide them from your neighbors. To maximize the joy of the tree planting experience we decided to allow our dogs to run free during the planting. This proved to be a bad move as every few seconds we had to tell the one dog to stop eating the mulch and the other dog to stop eating the rocks. For variety they switched diets midway through the day. I kid you not when I say that the next day when I went to clean up the dog's messes I had a bag filled with sh*t shaped paving stones. Our one dog, Henry, or Pain In the Ass #1 has the endearing habit of lying on whatever it is that has my attention at the moment. If I'm reading the paper he'll lie on it. If he could I'm sure he'd climb up the computer workstation and lie on the keyboard. I swear he does it to irritate me. In this case as I was trying to rip up the sod with my shovel he came and lay down on the sod circle I had just cut out. Each time I worked the shovel under the sod to tear the roots, the sod and him moved. Each time he'd look at me as if to say "Did you feel that?" Eight holes and eight hours later we were finished. Why were there eight holes if we planted seven trees? Good question. We tackled the moving of the dogwood first. I dug a beautiful hole about 3.5 feet in diameter and at least 6 inches down when I hit bedrock. This was not the soft, yielding rock that I would be busting through a la John Henry for the rest of the day. This was rock forged in the pits of hell and sent to break men's spirits. The sad thing was that the hole was exactly as deep as it needed to be. Unfortunately trees have a problem boring through solid rock with their roots so after much cursing, wailing and gnashing of teeth we filled the hole back in and started anew. All in all, the backyard does look very nice. Once the trees are in full bloom the yard will be alive with color. We purchased flowering pear, flowering cherry and magnolia trees so we should have a nice mix of foliage and flowers. It took a full four days for me to obtain enough feeling in my hands to be able to button my shirts properly and I still have bits of rock embedded in my front teeth but it was worth it. Mrs. Joe now wants to put in a brick path from the driveway to the deck. I'm leaving tomorrow morning. I'll contact all of you from the underground.
This missive comes from when Linda and I lived in Virginia. It's a hoot.
A Tree Grows in Ashburn
There will come a time, dear reader, when you are sitting at home engaging in home-type activities. Perhaps you are reading the paper, perhaps you are playing a computer game, perhaps you are down in your workshop tinkering or lathe-ing or doing whatever it is that people in workshops do. Your significant other will enter the room and after spending some time staring out at the backyard, a look of impending work on their face, will turn to you and utter the four words of your impending doom: The yard needs trees. At this point drop whatever it is you're doing and run out of the home as fast as your legs can carry. Do not grab your wallet, a new identity will be provided for you. Do not stop to pack clothing, you'll buy what you need as you need it. Do not kiss the children goodbye, do not wave to the neighbors. You must forget all of these people if you hope to survive. The other choice is to nod grimly and steel yourself for the upcoming task. Mrs. Joe and I recently completed a weekend of tree planting, or as we in No. VA like to call it, "rock smashing and swearing". Anyone who has ever attempted to plant anything in Virginia can tell you that it's like trying to spread butter on a cat. OK, maybe that isn't a good analogy as I don't know what the hell it means but boy is it tough. The planting not the buttering, although I imagine that's difficult too. The main problems stem from the fact that Virginia doesn't have soil per se, it has rock with occasional pockets of softer more breakable rock and some clay. On the plus side we don't have a problem with gophers as they can't burrow through our rock-strewn landscape. They have instead erected a shanty-town in my backyard and regularly shake down my dogs for cigarettes. Mrs. Joe and I have planted a fair number of things in this god-forsaken soil. Surprisingly we've managed to keep most things alive. What we have not managed to do is remember what a horrible, horrible time it is to dig in our yard. For this time around we decided to plant 6 trees that were purchased at Home Depot and to move a rather large and heavy dogwood that was planted by our builders. We have a huge rectangular backyard nearly devoid of plant life so our builder decided that the two trees would look best planted one on top of the other. I am constantly amazed that these people manage to build houses that are suitable for occupation. Whenever I walk through the houses they are currently building I keep expecting to see a sign that reads "Floor, then roof!" But I digress. It was a fine Sunday morning. The trees had been purchased and placed at their approximate planting locations. The bags of mulch and soil were stacked in the backyard. The wheelbarrow and yard cart were waiting to be used. The pickaxe, shovel, jackhammer, backhoe, dynamite, blasting caps, C-4 and portable thermonuclear device were all anxious to start tearing into the virgin soil. Mrs. Joe and I planned our assault. With any large scale task one must plan ahead. The planting plans went something like this: Step One: Pick a spot for your leafy friend. Step Two: Start digging. Step Three: 2 inches later, hit rock. Step Four: Curse the God that would give you such harsh, unyielding soil. Step Five: Move five feet in any direction. Repeat steps 1-4. Eventually you'll have a whole bunch of little holes in your yard. Rent these out to the gophers. Keep the trees in their pots. If needed you can always pile mulch around the pots to hide them from your neighbors. To maximize the joy of the tree planting experience we decided to allow our dogs to run free during the planting. This proved to be a bad move as every few seconds we had to tell the one dog to stop eating the mulch and the other dog to stop eating the rocks. For variety they switched diets midway through the day. I kid you not when I say that the next day when I went to clean up the dog's messes I had a bag filled with sh*t shaped paving stones. Our one dog, Henry, or Pain In the Ass #1 has the endearing habit of lying on whatever it is that has my attention at the moment. If I'm reading the paper he'll lie on it. If he could I'm sure he'd climb up the computer workstation and lie on the keyboard. I swear he does it to irritate me. In this case as I was trying to rip up the sod with my shovel he came and lay down on the sod circle I had just cut out. Each time I worked the shovel under the sod to tear the roots, the sod and him moved. Each time he'd look at me as if to say "Did you feel that?" Eight holes and eight hours later we were finished. Why were there eight holes if we planted seven trees? Good question. We tackled the moving of the dogwood first. I dug a beautiful hole about 3.5 feet in diameter and at least 6 inches down when I hit bedrock. This was not the soft, yielding rock that I would be busting through a la John Henry for the rest of the day. This was rock forged in the pits of hell and sent to break men's spirits. The sad thing was that the hole was exactly as deep as it needed to be. Unfortunately trees have a problem boring through solid rock with their roots so after much cursing, wailing and gnashing of teeth we filled the hole back in and started anew. All in all, the backyard does look very nice. Once the trees are in full bloom the yard will be alive with color. We purchased flowering pear, flowering cherry and magnolia trees so we should have a nice mix of foliage and flowers. It took a full four days for me to obtain enough feeling in my hands to be able to button my shirts properly and I still have bits of rock embedded in my front teeth but it was worth it. Mrs. Joe now wants to put in a brick path from the driveway to the deck. I'm leaving tomorrow morning. I'll contact all of you from the underground.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Me Like-a Milka
| Before we get started, I have to apologize to Aaron. I had promised him that I'd answer his question next, which is a frackin' awesome question, by the way, but with my being gone, and having a sick child to deal with last week, I didn't have time to research his question. Aaron, I apologize and promise to sate your curiosity next week. | ||
Monday, May 15, 2006
The E-Thrizzle
[Special guest post by Phyxie 'cus while Brandon wrote up the content, he forgot to give me Publish rights while he's on vacation. I hope you don't feel like this decreases your enjoyment of his witty repartee any.]
This past week was E3 or the Electronic Entertainment Expo, when all manner of video game creators, journalists and drooling fanboys descend upon Los Angeles to celebrate this crazy industry. This year was particularly interesting as it marked the "official" unveiling of both the Sony PS3 and the Nintendo Wii. People also had a chance to hear about the upcoming plans for Microsoft's gaming endeavors. Having pored over the various articles about the big 3 companies, I will now provide for you, my impressions of how each company fared at E3. Seeing how I wasn't there, and have only the unbiased (ha) opinions of various gaming journalists to rely on, I see this being what can only be referred to as a fruitless exercise. It's either that or a note by note breakdown of "I Love Rock and Roll". Trust me, this is for the best.
Sony
Sony had its press conference first, so they get to go first. Well, they revealed pricing and configuration information on the PS3 and all I can say is, "um, what?". First of all, the lower end model is $499. The higher end model is $599. The difference between the two models is that the lower end has a hard drive that is 40GB smaller, no Wi-Fi out of the box, no memory card readers and no HDMI output. The smaller hard drive isn't a big deal, nor is the lack of Wi-Fi and the lack of a memory card reader. Both of those could be added relatively easily, even if it means a larger footprint. What boggles the mind is the lack of the HDMI output. Here's why. The PS3, both versions, will be a Blu-Ray dvd player. Blu-ray is one of 2 competing Hi-Def DVD formats, and the one created by Sony. Part of the Hi-Def standard is the ability to do copyright protection as part of the signal itself, something handled by HDCP, which is part of the HDMI connection Signals that go through something other than HDMI, or go through a non HDCP compliant HDMI port, will be downsampled to the resolution that current generation DVDs are broadcast at. What that means is that when people purchase a $499 PS3, thinking they're also getting a Blu-Ray player, their Blu-Ray player is essentially crippled. Why Sony would intentionally make a player that does nothing to push their new format forward is beyond me. Now, you can argue that most people don't have tv's with HDMI inputs in them anyways, so it's not a big deal, however if that's the case, then why do we need a new Hi-Def DVD format in the first place. Exactly. Personally, I think both versions are overpriced, but whatever. When Microsoft announced the dual pricing stucture for the 360, I thought it was silly, however there's a very important distinction here. In the case of the 360, you can upgrade the Core system to a Premium system, however it will be at a higher price than if you had just bought the Premium system. In the case of the PS3, unless you're handy with a soldering iron and have access to engineering documents that the rest of us don't, you won't be upgrading your low end PS3 to match the higher end one. That's not silly, that's fracking retarded.
During the presentation they also released that the new wireless PS3 controller will directly take on the Nintendo Wii's motion sensing with, get this, a tilt sensor. Whoa. That's some technological shit. I mean, we haven't seen that kind of innovation in a controller since, oh, I don't know, 2001. Well, they weren't wireless that year, but that kind of technology takes time. This "revelation" was met with the chirping of crickets and the inky silence of space as it showed that a) Sony is perilously devoid of new ideas and b) they have no idea how silly they looked. If they came into this looking to steal Nintendo's thunder, they may have wanted to do it with a technology not used by one of Nintendo's own handheld games 5 years ago. Whoopsie. People seemed to be impressed with a number of games for the PS3 shown at E3, notably Assassins Creed and Metal Gear Solid 4, but the press conference and the pricing info seemed to leave people somewhat underwhelmed, which is where I am. Seeing how I just got my PS2, I can expect a PS3 sometime around 2011.
Nintendo
Going into E3, I think people were most interested in hearing about the PS3's pricing information and getting their hands on the Nintendo Wii (that name just is not getting better). The Nintendo press conference was filled with a number of juicy bits, namely that The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess will be a Wii launch title, available for both the GameCube and the Wii on the same day and the Wii version will make use of the controller, namely for Link's bow, his boomerang and for fishing. Yes, that's right, fishing. They also released information on a title called Wii Sports which will contain Tennis, Baseball and Golf. During the press conference, various Nintendo execs, including Shiggy and Reggie, demonstrated the game, and while a bunch of guys in suits waving around a remote shaped controller isn't exactly the picture of gaming fun you'd hope for, they did look like they were having a good time. The other interesting piece of info is that Metroid Prime 3 is also slated to be a Wii launch title. Now, I'm as skeptical as the next guy when it comes to Nintendo launch dates, but if they can launch with both a Zelda title and a Metroid title, that console will sell itself. Add a new Super Smash Bros game with Solid Snake as a playable character, and a new Mario game shortly thereafter and you've got quite the impressive lineup.
The same can be said for the DS which is getting a Zelda game, a Star Fox game and a sequel to Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney. Yes, yes and yes! That console is quickly turning into the best gaming investment I've ever made, even if I'll have made it twice when all is said and done. Response to the hands on sessions with the Wii appears to be mixed depending on the games. Some games, like Sports and Metroid appear to be most enjoyable with the new controller, while others, like Madden, are a mess. There's still time for them to fix things up, but I'm a little wary about trying to take "traditional" games like Madden, which requires something like nine thousand buttons to play, and porting it to a system who's remote has 4 buttons and motion control. I think I'm the only person who ever bought Madden for a Nintendo console anyway, and I stopped years ago, so guys, certainly don't go through all of this trouble on my account. I think Nintendo made a mistake by not releasing any pricing information, especially after the Sony announcement as any price under 300 bucks would have made them look damn afforable compared to Sony. Hell, any price comparable to that of a new midsized automobile would have made them look affordable compared to Sony. A release date would have also helped, but I think it's safe to assume that the Wii will be available so as to not ruin Johnny's Christmas. I think Nintendo did the best this year, a surprise I know, by sticking to the games. There's a tremendous amount of potentially excellent content coming out from the House of N in the next year. Hopefully the Wii titles won't be too gimmicky and the DS titles will come out in a steady stream, rather than a wallet and attention crumbling deluge. Good job Nintendo, you done good.
Microsoft
Microsoft was in an interesting position this year in that their new fangled console had already launched so all they had to do was show that they plan on supporting it in the upcoming years. I'm sure they got more out of seeing their competitors' long term plans than sharing their own plans. Based on what they showed this year, I'm sure 2007 will be an amazing year to be a 360 owner, I'm just not as sure as 2006. I mean, sure, Gears of War looks to be the shizzle, but November is a looooong way off and Live Arcade games like Uno and Texas Hold 'Em aren't enough to fill those months, especially considering that the tools required to play both of those games costs about 2 bucks, combined.
The Halo 3 trailer looked pretty damn cool, and the fact that it was running in real time allowed them to show the power of the 360 and make fun of Sony's Killzone rendering fiasco from last year. Word on the street is that they had two 360's set up in case one gave up the ghost. The trailer did a very good job of showing what we could expect without showing too much, as I think they did in the E3 before Halo 2's launch. Hopefully Halo 3 will wrap up the current story line, cause you know they'll be mining that universe for games until the end of time, and they won't have those asstastic texture popping issues from Halo 2. I'm not all that excited about the Live Anywhere set of tools, as I don't play games on the PC, or on my cell phone and my Team Binky persona isn't one that I feel I need to express with every gaming action. I can assure you that if there's a Team Binky tearing up Metroid Prime: Hunters, it ain't me. Maybe if I get my cool ass Treo or SmartPhone (ha-ha-ha-ha) I'll care more about being able to get Hexic achievements via cellular technology, but I doubt it. It's good to see that Microsoft is committed to gaming, by allowing Live gamers to play games on any MSFT supported platform, but I'd be happier with a ton of 360 games in 2006 while Peter Moore calls all gamers flaming assholes. That's just me. I don't think that Microsoft did a bad job at E3, and their comments towards Nintendo have all been surprisingly cordial, even, dare I say, supportive, I just don't think they blew away gamers with 2006's 360 offerings.
I think that this is going to be a very interesting holiday season, especially if the Wii can come through with a kick ass stable of launch titles, and the motion sensitivity isn't just a gimmick. Given how they've been able to elevate the touchscreen in the DS from gimmicky play thing to essential feature, I'm not concerned about that. The launch titles, I'm super concerned about, but I think at the very least we'll have Zelda, and that's like saying at the very least, Keira Knightey is coming to your party. November can't come soon enough.
This past week was E3 or the Electronic Entertainment Expo, when all manner of video game creators, journalists and drooling fanboys descend upon Los Angeles to celebrate this crazy industry. This year was particularly interesting as it marked the "official" unveiling of both the Sony PS3 and the Nintendo Wii. People also had a chance to hear about the upcoming plans for Microsoft's gaming endeavors. Having pored over the various articles about the big 3 companies, I will now provide for you, my impressions of how each company fared at E3. Seeing how I wasn't there, and have only the unbiased (ha) opinions of various gaming journalists to rely on, I see this being what can only be referred to as a fruitless exercise. It's either that or a note by note breakdown of "I Love Rock and Roll". Trust me, this is for the best.
Sony
Sony had its press conference first, so they get to go first. Well, they revealed pricing and configuration information on the PS3 and all I can say is, "um, what?". First of all, the lower end model is $499. The higher end model is $599. The difference between the two models is that the lower end has a hard drive that is 40GB smaller, no Wi-Fi out of the box, no memory card readers and no HDMI output. The smaller hard drive isn't a big deal, nor is the lack of Wi-Fi and the lack of a memory card reader. Both of those could be added relatively easily, even if it means a larger footprint. What boggles the mind is the lack of the HDMI output. Here's why. The PS3, both versions, will be a Blu-Ray dvd player. Blu-ray is one of 2 competing Hi-Def DVD formats, and the one created by Sony. Part of the Hi-Def standard is the ability to do copyright protection as part of the signal itself, something handled by HDCP, which is part of the HDMI connection Signals that go through something other than HDMI, or go through a non HDCP compliant HDMI port, will be downsampled to the resolution that current generation DVDs are broadcast at. What that means is that when people purchase a $499 PS3, thinking they're also getting a Blu-Ray player, their Blu-Ray player is essentially crippled. Why Sony would intentionally make a player that does nothing to push their new format forward is beyond me. Now, you can argue that most people don't have tv's with HDMI inputs in them anyways, so it's not a big deal, however if that's the case, then why do we need a new Hi-Def DVD format in the first place. Exactly. Personally, I think both versions are overpriced, but whatever. When Microsoft announced the dual pricing stucture for the 360, I thought it was silly, however there's a very important distinction here. In the case of the 360, you can upgrade the Core system to a Premium system, however it will be at a higher price than if you had just bought the Premium system. In the case of the PS3, unless you're handy with a soldering iron and have access to engineering documents that the rest of us don't, you won't be upgrading your low end PS3 to match the higher end one. That's not silly, that's fracking retarded.
During the presentation they also released that the new wireless PS3 controller will directly take on the Nintendo Wii's motion sensing with, get this, a tilt sensor. Whoa. That's some technological shit. I mean, we haven't seen that kind of innovation in a controller since, oh, I don't know, 2001. Well, they weren't wireless that year, but that kind of technology takes time. This "revelation" was met with the chirping of crickets and the inky silence of space as it showed that a) Sony is perilously devoid of new ideas and b) they have no idea how silly they looked. If they came into this looking to steal Nintendo's thunder, they may have wanted to do it with a technology not used by one of Nintendo's own handheld games 5 years ago. Whoopsie. People seemed to be impressed with a number of games for the PS3 shown at E3, notably Assassins Creed and Metal Gear Solid 4, but the press conference and the pricing info seemed to leave people somewhat underwhelmed, which is where I am. Seeing how I just got my PS2, I can expect a PS3 sometime around 2011.
Nintendo
Going into E3, I think people were most interested in hearing about the PS3's pricing information and getting their hands on the Nintendo Wii (that name just is not getting better). The Nintendo press conference was filled with a number of juicy bits, namely that The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess will be a Wii launch title, available for both the GameCube and the Wii on the same day and the Wii version will make use of the controller, namely for Link's bow, his boomerang and for fishing. Yes, that's right, fishing. They also released information on a title called Wii Sports which will contain Tennis, Baseball and Golf. During the press conference, various Nintendo execs, including Shiggy and Reggie, demonstrated the game, and while a bunch of guys in suits waving around a remote shaped controller isn't exactly the picture of gaming fun you'd hope for, they did look like they were having a good time. The other interesting piece of info is that Metroid Prime 3 is also slated to be a Wii launch title. Now, I'm as skeptical as the next guy when it comes to Nintendo launch dates, but if they can launch with both a Zelda title and a Metroid title, that console will sell itself. Add a new Super Smash Bros game with Solid Snake as a playable character, and a new Mario game shortly thereafter and you've got quite the impressive lineup.
The same can be said for the DS which is getting a Zelda game, a Star Fox game and a sequel to Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney. Yes, yes and yes! That console is quickly turning into the best gaming investment I've ever made, even if I'll have made it twice when all is said and done. Response to the hands on sessions with the Wii appears to be mixed depending on the games. Some games, like Sports and Metroid appear to be most enjoyable with the new controller, while others, like Madden, are a mess. There's still time for them to fix things up, but I'm a little wary about trying to take "traditional" games like Madden, which requires something like nine thousand buttons to play, and porting it to a system who's remote has 4 buttons and motion control. I think I'm the only person who ever bought Madden for a Nintendo console anyway, and I stopped years ago, so guys, certainly don't go through all of this trouble on my account. I think Nintendo made a mistake by not releasing any pricing information, especially after the Sony announcement as any price under 300 bucks would have made them look damn afforable compared to Sony. Hell, any price comparable to that of a new midsized automobile would have made them look affordable compared to Sony. A release date would have also helped, but I think it's safe to assume that the Wii will be available so as to not ruin Johnny's Christmas. I think Nintendo did the best this year, a surprise I know, by sticking to the games. There's a tremendous amount of potentially excellent content coming out from the House of N in the next year. Hopefully the Wii titles won't be too gimmicky and the DS titles will come out in a steady stream, rather than a wallet and attention crumbling deluge. Good job Nintendo, you done good.
Microsoft
Microsoft was in an interesting position this year in that their new fangled console had already launched so all they had to do was show that they plan on supporting it in the upcoming years. I'm sure they got more out of seeing their competitors' long term plans than sharing their own plans. Based on what they showed this year, I'm sure 2007 will be an amazing year to be a 360 owner, I'm just not as sure as 2006. I mean, sure, Gears of War looks to be the shizzle, but November is a looooong way off and Live Arcade games like Uno and Texas Hold 'Em aren't enough to fill those months, especially considering that the tools required to play both of those games costs about 2 bucks, combined.
The Halo 3 trailer looked pretty damn cool, and the fact that it was running in real time allowed them to show the power of the 360 and make fun of Sony's Killzone rendering fiasco from last year. Word on the street is that they had two 360's set up in case one gave up the ghost. The trailer did a very good job of showing what we could expect without showing too much, as I think they did in the E3 before Halo 2's launch. Hopefully Halo 3 will wrap up the current story line, cause you know they'll be mining that universe for games until the end of time, and they won't have those asstastic texture popping issues from Halo 2. I'm not all that excited about the Live Anywhere set of tools, as I don't play games on the PC, or on my cell phone and my Team Binky persona isn't one that I feel I need to express with every gaming action. I can assure you that if there's a Team Binky tearing up Metroid Prime: Hunters, it ain't me. Maybe if I get my cool ass Treo or SmartPhone (ha-ha-ha-ha) I'll care more about being able to get Hexic achievements via cellular technology, but I doubt it. It's good to see that Microsoft is committed to gaming, by allowing Live gamers to play games on any MSFT supported platform, but I'd be happier with a ton of 360 games in 2006 while Peter Moore calls all gamers flaming assholes. That's just me. I don't think that Microsoft did a bad job at E3, and their comments towards Nintendo have all been surprisingly cordial, even, dare I say, supportive, I just don't think they blew away gamers with 2006's 360 offerings.
I think that this is going to be a very interesting holiday season, especially if the Wii can come through with a kick ass stable of launch titles, and the motion sensitivity isn't just a gimmick. Given how they've been able to elevate the touchscreen in the DS from gimmicky play thing to essential feature, I'm not concerned about that. The launch titles, I'm super concerned about, but I think at the very least we'll have Zelda, and that's like saying at the very least, Keira Knightey is coming to your party. November can't come soon enough.
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